Thursday, February 25, 2010

February 2010

One day about a month ago I woke up and decided that I never wanted to buy cigarettes again. This happened on January 25, 2010. It was quite easy to quit, I didnt really have cravings, and if I did I would just use my E-cigarette to get rid of anger or frustration.
I then decided that I was going to start excercising and getting healthy again since I was feeling like crap all the time. I thought maybe it's because I look terrible and feel terrible. I was having major issues with drinking... I was blacking out and throwing child like tantrums after the black out took affect. I have never forgotten events while drinking, so I figured this might have been caused by the nicotine withdraw... and I felt as though it was best to just quit drinking too while I was in agony. Then on top of that I quit drinking coffee- well actually that's not entirely true. I drink a cup every other morning to help me go number two...

Anyway to make a long story short. It turns out I'm pregnant. I have no idea how far along I am, but it's pretty exciting. It explains why I have been so bloated, and feeling like crap. I think I'm 6 or 7 weeks along. My last period was on December 28th 2009. I took a test on February 9th but it turned out negative... I was 45 days late. Then I took another test two weeks later on Feb 22nd and both tests said positive. It's all very strange. Why would the first test say negative if I was a week late? I figured it might have been due to drinking a ton the night before... (sorry baby). So according to a pregnancy calculator I would be 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

At the moment I weigh 117 lbs and my boobs hurt more and more every day. I have a doctors appointment on Monday at 1:00 to confirm the pregnancy.. and then I guess I need to find a real ObGyn. I guess the only concern I have at this time is that for the last week I have been having cramps, very small cramps but they feel as though I will be gettin gmy period anytime... which would be bad. Apparently this is normal... but I'm not sure if it is at this time. It's all pretty exciting, even though we don't have any money and I can barely take care of my school loans as it is... but, I'm sure we will figure out a way to handle all of that. I mean I only have 119,974.85 more to pay in loans. I owe citibank 29,796.78 dollars, Sallie mae is 61,036.78 and AES is is 29, 141. 29.

I'm wondering if Citibank and AEs are the same? Whatever... the payments are huge. my paycheck just barely covers the loans every month... so once the kid is born we will either have to move in with my mom or the hubster will have to take over the rent and pay for allthe baby supplies while I use all of my income to pay off just my loan. That is my ultimate dream. I'm losing so much of my money by paying half the rent. Ugh. I guess I'm better off then most of my friends, I just found out the other day that my one friend doesnt pay any of her bills, she collects collection notices as if they are trophies... incredible that is to me... Iwouldnt be able to sleep at night over that. I mean I want really great credit, because I want to be able to buy my dream car and house one day. Imagine seeing your dream and not able to get it because you didnt pay some stupid bills when you were a kid?

I dont know. I think everything will be fine. I already have three kids named Citi, SAllie, and AES what's the difference if I just add another one to the litter.

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