The Job Hunt in Today's Society.

I have recently been actively looking for a creative job. The stay at home mom role is challenging and may be one the most demanding of all jobs I have ever had, yet I feel that in today's society it is frowned upon to be a woman living off the man. Women are more independent now, and as much as I love my kids and feel that the best care giver for them is me... it wouldn't hurt for me to be a care giver, AND work. I certainly am capable and strong enough to handle both.

I have always loved to work, and when I do work I put my heart and soul into it. When I was in design school studying Interior Architecture it came the time to find an internship. I sat in a class of 40 girls all going after the same dream, and when it came time to get an internship we all fell to our knees looking for a job. It was the recession. Jobs were hard to come by, and paid internships were at an all time low. Interior Design Firms were closing their doors, and I was thrown into this heap of people wandering around throwing resumes and cover letters to the Internet and postal service without ever hearing any word back.

I was fresh, young, and full of the most up to date of information, the world was at my finger tips, and my confidence was at an all time high. My teachers and fellow students loved me, and I was in a giant bubble of success. Yet... to get the outside world to see this was impossible. I had trouble standing out, and my first impression was a boring letter telling a stranger why they should pick me.

I never got that perfect for me internship that swooshed me into the job of my dreams. The longer the time went by the more my confidence started to dwindle, and self doubt came roaring into my ears. I ended up working in the retail field, which allowed me to learn many tasks. Importing, Exporting, Visual Merchandising, Web Page development, the list goes on. It was a great experience that I finally had to let go of due to having children.

Now, I'm trying to get back in the world. Having to teach myself all the software I left behind at school. The updated versions, have become more user friendly, and all those quirks from the past are gone. A monkey could learn this stuff, and I am that monkey. Self motivation is one of my weaknesses. I never enjoyed being my own boss. To force myself to do things without being told or how, to have a strict assignment that pays no money only experience. Sometimes, I think. "Why bother?"

I have to bother because now people are hiring again. I don't want to slip through and be forgotten. I want something in life. Independence, Pride, and Self Worth. It's not just a job to me. It's who I am. I am a worker, not a slacker, or a sitter, or a couch potato. I have talent, I have a mind, and I think the world needs someone like me out there.

Since sending out paper to strangers has not been working, I will have to start making real life connections. I will have to get my face out there, meet people, and show them in life how full of life I am. My next step to all of this will be my unveiling. I am going to rework myself into a creative machine, and start shining. I will not let people just pass me by like a tiger in a cage. Instead, I must roar, and bring them to attention. I think this is what it takes to get people to notice a person now a days. I will not be another resume in a pile. I will be the person standing in front of you, shaking your hand with a smile, and my resume will speak for itself.

Raven is lame and I'm up the creak with no paddle.

The hits keep coming. I seem to have very bad luck when it comes to my animals. All of my chickens are now gone either due to sickness or predators and now my little pony has turned up lame.

About three weeks ago I went out to feed Raven and Ellie, and noticed that Raven was limping as she cantered towards me. She slowed down to trot and her head was bobbing and she was clearly in pain. I checked out her legs as she ate her food. No swelling, no heat, no cuts, no hoof marks from kicks... nothing. I picked out her feet hoping it might be a rock that she stepped on... her feet were fine.

I waited a week or so, and could not wait any longer, I had to call the vet out.

The horses got their shots, and Raven was looked at. The vet suggested she get a nerve block done on her back right hind leg which was showing the lameness. I had to think about it, since Raven doesn't belong to me. I contacted her owner, and was slapped in the face with a "I want this amount of money for the pony by the end of the month or I will take her tomorrow"

I'm faced with hard decisions. Do I go ahead and pay for more expensive vet fees to find out whats wrong with Raven and then pay the fee asked? and... do I look like I am made of money? I got the owner to take about 75% off the originally asking price. The price being asked is still a lot for a lame green pony that can't be ridden. I could pay this price for a horse that has been around the A circuit and is fully trained and sound.

I had the vet over again today. Raven is now getting worse. She showed up lame on her front left leg and her hind back right leg. The vet asked me to tell her my situation with the owner and as I told my story her mouth dropped open and immediately said "Get rid of this horse"

She took one look at my face, and saw that this was the last option. She decided against doing the nerve block, seeing as it now was in two legs, not just one. It would be too difficult to find the problem in just one leg... but now two?..... For a horse that does not belong to me, and could take a few more thousand dollars of vet work to find out whats wrong... with a grim diagnoses. The vet was pretty sure that this horse would have to go through a lot of therapy to ever be ridden again. I looked at the vet and was begging for other solutions.

I mentioned "Lyme disease" after all, why would this horse be getting worse? She looks arthritic. Is very sore, lethargic, and without being ridden or working... is getting much worse as the days wear on. The vet thought this was a great place to start. She drew blood, and I will know in a few days whether this is the culprit.

If it's not  Lyme's disease I am going to have to give Raven back to the owner. I can't afford to keep doing tests on her.... This could be one of the worst Thanksgivings of my life so far. I'm faced with horrible choices, and feel as though Raven and I are stuck in a corner together with nothing but bad news.

I'm praying that this is the cause, it would explain a lot. If it is Lyme's disease she will get some antibiotic, and I will hopefully have my pony back and I will gladly shell out the money for a healthy pony that is like family to me. If its not, I will end up contacting the owner, and hope to god she will be like, "Just keep her, I can't sell her lame like that, it's a total write off" Yet, I know in my heart she will be here within 24 hours of that phone call and will take the pony and do whatever with her... those thoughts haunt me.

I will have to find a new companion animal to keep Ellie company. Ellie is going to freak out if they take Raven... just today while the vet was here I had to tie Ellie to the fence just to trot Raven up and back, and she started to scream and pull at the rope as I walked Raven away from her. They are a pair, and it will do mental damage to Ellie if I let this pony go to another home.

WHY ME? Why am I always in these bad situations. First lesson learned. Always have a written agreement if you take on someone else's pet. In most cases this would be the owners responsibility to get the vet out and pay for the costs of it's health care. There is a binding agreement that would have protected us both. If anything happens to the horse while on my property I am not responsible. Yet, here I am... both the owner and I are in a bad situation. The owner now has a horse that was worth money, and is now worth nothing so she has lost that sale, and I am stuck with a sick horse that belongs to someone else.

Oh little life of mine, why must I learn everything the hard way?
Fingers crossed its Lyme's Disease.
Never thought I would ever be wishing for one of my animals to have a disease.

Etsy and Finger Print Trees.

I need to start bringing in a little money of my own to pay for my horses. I have decided to open an Etsy account and start selling my talent on canvas. I started with a finger print tree that I did for my friend Kari's Wedding. She loved it so much that she urged me to start selling these on Etsy. It was easy enough. She showed me a tree that she liked the look of, asked me to carve her and her husbands initials in the trunk and add a swing. I finished it in two hours, and had fun doing it. I went to art school, I might as well put my talents to good use. Fingers crossed that I get some business, or it's back to the drawing board. You can see my little store here at the link below. I of course named it The Lizards Den. I will eventually start adding other things like paintings, cartoons, custom art, and maybe some framed Italian Landscape Scenes. The sky is the limit, let's hope this takes me to a new level of starving artistry. Enjoy!

https://www.etsy.com/listing/168367892/wedding-fingerprint-tree?

Offended?

I was just reading an article about a girl that dressed up as a Boston Marathon Runner covered in blood.  Not only did she get fired from her job but she has also been harassed with death threats. The more social media I read the more I see similar outbursts from people.

People/Readers are easily offended, and have no problems tooting their horn all over the Internet. Yet, I'm sure if face to face these same people wouldn't say a word to show their irritation.

One face book user was very offended by a plastic Halloween skeleton hanging from the neck in a neighbors yard. She was horrified and extremely angry over "lynching" and how this made her think of slavery.  Really? It's a toy decoration hanging in a tree... I mean people have been lynched for thousands of years... not just African Americans. But that is besides the point. People just want to get angry over something. They want to point a finger...

I feel for this girl that just lost her job. Halloween is supposed to be about scary costumes, things that make you scream in the night. The day of the dead. It initiates the triduum of Hallowmas, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the faithful departed believers.^[7] 

So, according to the definition, wouldn't this girl have had an appropriate costume? She was remembering the dead... perhaps it was her sexy happy pose that caused more of a threat?

I'm more offended by young women that use this holiday to dress up in provocative dresses, showing lots of cleavage and upper thigh. It's not cute, it's not scary, it just says one thing... You finish that sentence, I'm not going to. Yet, I'm not offended at all. Again, it's all for fun. Dress how you want. Just cover your bits and pieces!


For me, this Halloween was scary. The people year after year become more opinionated and sensitive. I slowly start to find myself getting pushed further from the circle of normal. Normal is social media, iPhone crazed, young people and old people alike living their lives through the Internet. It makes it easy for them to go on blast and blow their hateful comments every which way. It's cowardly.
People are judgemental and angry and get a kick out of destroying and tormenting young girls that dress up in dumb Halloween costumes.

I feel sorry for the girl. I hope someone will give her a second change and people will eventually leave her alone. Don't people realize they have ruined this young persons life? It's a Halloween costume.... not a mockery of terrorism or people that were hurt or killed at the marathon.