I have recently been actively looking for a creative job. The stay at home mom role is challenging and may be one the most demanding of all jobs I have ever had, yet I feel that in today's society it is frowned upon to be a woman living off the man. Women are more independent now, and as much as I love my kids and feel that the best care giver for them is me... it wouldn't hurt for me to be a care giver, AND work. I certainly am capable and strong enough to handle both.
I have always loved to work, and when I do work I put my heart and soul into it. When I was in design school studying Interior Architecture it came the time to find an internship. I sat in a class of 40 girls all going after the same dream, and when it came time to get an internship we all fell to our knees looking for a job. It was the recession. Jobs were hard to come by, and paid internships were at an all time low. Interior Design Firms were closing their doors, and I was thrown into this heap of people wandering around throwing resumes and cover letters to the Internet and postal service without ever hearing any word back.
I was fresh, young, and full of the most up to date of information, the world was at my finger tips, and my confidence was at an all time high. My teachers and fellow students loved me, and I was in a giant bubble of success. Yet... to get the outside world to see this was impossible. I had trouble standing out, and my first impression was a boring letter telling a stranger why they should pick me.
I never got that perfect for me internship that swooshed me into the job of my dreams. The longer the time went by the more my confidence started to dwindle, and self doubt came roaring into my ears. I ended up working in the retail field, which allowed me to learn many tasks. Importing, Exporting, Visual Merchandising, Web Page development, the list goes on. It was a great experience that I finally had to let go of due to having children.
Now, I'm trying to get back in the world. Having to teach myself all the software I left behind at school. The updated versions, have become more user friendly, and all those quirks from the past are gone. A monkey could learn this stuff, and I am that monkey. Self motivation is one of my weaknesses. I never enjoyed being my own boss. To force myself to do things without being told or how, to have a strict assignment that pays no money only experience. Sometimes, I think. "Why bother?"
I have to bother because now people are hiring again. I don't want to slip through and be forgotten. I want something in life. Independence, Pride, and Self Worth. It's not just a job to me. It's who I am. I am a worker, not a slacker, or a sitter, or a couch potato. I have talent, I have a mind, and I think the world needs someone like me out there.
Since sending out paper to strangers has not been working, I will have to start making real life connections. I will have to get my face out there, meet people, and show them in life how full of life I am. My next step to all of this will be my unveiling. I am going to rework myself into a creative machine, and start shining. I will not let people just pass me by like a tiger in a cage. Instead, I must roar, and bring them to attention. I think this is what it takes to get people to notice a person now a days. I will not be another resume in a pile. I will be the person standing in front of you, shaking your hand with a smile, and my resume will speak for itself.
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