Fiction

Sorry, not my best... very very quick sketch to get the point across. 

My dad thinks that I should try my hand at writing a fiction children's story. I don't think I have ever really written anything fiction. I had dreams about it all night. I thought maybe the best way to write a fiction story was to find a really interesting photograph and write about it.

When I was a kid hanging out with my best buddy Claire we would sometimes play a game where we would sit and watch people walk by. We would make up stories about them. Claires stories were always very enthusiastic and nice.... mine where always mean, and negative...the worst case possible for that person. 

Claire: see's a woman in a business suit wearing sneakers on her way to work. 

"That's Claudine, she works at a fortune 500 company, she is the boss of everyone and she has a mansion and 5 kids. She can do it all!"

Me: see's the same woman. 

"Nope, that's Hildaguard, or at least used to be. She is trying desperately to get her marriage back after sleeping with her co-worker who got her hooked on meth. She had 3 kids but now they hate her because she is a troll. She only just got another job and is trying desperately to get her husband back, but he's gone now because he's sleeping with Hildy's best friend Martha.... Martha Stewart. Nobody can top Martha, and Hildy knows this. At least she has her Meth! , which is the only comfort she has now-a-days"

With that Claire would look at me wide eyed...."Oh Liz.... can't you just say something nice for once?"

"Nope! Life sucks! Open your eyes, look at these people. They aren't happy, nobody is! They are all salves to "the man."

So dad... I don't really know much about children's stories. I still have that edge that may not be appropriate for kids. 

Oh screw it. 

Here! Here is a story. 

**************************** A lovely children's fiction story **************************

by: Liz the great

Once Upon a time there was an old house. It was put up for sale, and soon a nice little family moved into it. They had a two year old and a 2 month old... boys. It was a fine old house that needed some love and repair. 

This old house was special! It could talk! 

The new family liked it when the house talked to them. The floors laughed when you cleaned them. The walls commented on how pretty they looked with the new art work and pretty colorful paint. The windows admired their new curtains. The rugs loved the vacuum and the vacuum loved the rugs! 

Even the toilets talked. "You missed a spot!" they would yell. Especially if it was your hiney.

The toilets were hungry! They liked it when people peed and poo'd. They especially loved the poo. It made them feel so happy!

One day the two year old boy was told to use the potty. The toilets' were overjoyed to have a new friend. They loved the little boy's hiney. 

They couldn't wait for poo! 

But one day the little boy went and poo'd on the floor!

The floors were scared! So very scared of the poo... they screamed in pain. "I'm DIRTY!!! " they cried. They were soooo very dirty. The vacuum cried too because he could not help to clean the poo off the floor. The toilet cried because he wanted the poo! He was so sad because the little boy was scared of him. 

The little boy hated the toilet! 

The floors were scared of the little boy. 

The vacuum was sad. 

No one was happy!

But one day the little boy went poo on the potty! 

The toilet was overjoyed! He sang with delight! 

The floors cheered and sang. 

The vacuum wooshed around and happily hoovered up the floors in celebration. 

The little boy HAD SAVED THE DAY! Everyone was so happy again!

After that....

The little boy always went to the potty. 

The toilet became his very best friend. 

And they lived happily ever after. 

********************

Fin

There ya go. 

I feel good about it. I think I could totally be a children's author. I made sure not to curse. I think it's going to get one of those gold circle seal things on it. Yup it's a winner all right!