The Toddler

Oh this brought you joy? This made you happy? Let me destroy that for you. The joys of motherhood. 

I seem to spend most of my time writing on this blog about how my life is chaotic and out of control. At 6am I heard a noise coming from the babies room. "Hi mommy, I'm awake now, I'm ready to go to Grannies house"

"Go to bed! It's too early!"
"No I want to go to GRANNNY NOW!"

The hubster jumped out of bed and placed our defiant toddler back in his room where a gate was supposed to be holding him in his fort. Ten minutes go by, you I can hear an ugh... umph... umph... the sound of little feet pitter pattering down the hallway...

Fuck it... I don't care what he does, I'm too tired.

6:30 am:

"MOMMY!, HI JAMES! WAKE UP JAMES!"
"Get away from your brother! Leave him alone, he's sleep....."
"Goo-goo... da-dad-dad-dadmammaaaaa"

Shoot me in the face!!!

I drag both boys down stairs, way earlier then I would like- I feel like hell.

I step over the gate into the kitchen, and rub my eyes... why is my fish tank water... brown? What... is going on here? I take a closer look and almost drop the runt and the toddler. I quickly put them down and tell them to go watch TV...

On closer inspection I see that someone retarded has dumped ALL... I mean every last piece of fish food into my beloved pristine fish tank, that brings me endless joy and comfort as I wash the dishes a million times a day.

That toddler had scampered down stairs and dumped the food into the tank. The hubster woke up, put the gate back up and put the toddler back in his room... I'm sure he noticed my fish tank.

I frantically start to try and get the food out.... I look at my watch. Of course. 6:45 am... no better time to do this... I love smelling like fish, and dealing with this first thing...

It took me a half hour to get it somewhat composed. The water is still green brown, and my fish are still trying to survive in the muck.... Fatty is thrilled. He was on a diet, and now he has an endless supply of food.

As I was cleaning the plants, a pebble fell down the drain.
That wont hurt it I dont' think. wrong.... The garbage disposal worked, made a terrible noise like there was a pebble in there, and then stopped. I plunge my hands in there...looking for the rogue pebble...       ( I rather pull a turd from the toilet then put my hand in the sink... its a phobia....)

I pushed the red button on the bottom of the disposal system like it was an emergency exit botton... please work red button!! WORK! . Nothing.... I spent the next thirty minutes plunging my hands down the drain and grabbing things that I don't care to discuss....
Misery doesn't even describe my face or feelings.

Its broken....mother... bleep bleep bleep bleppity bleep bleep.

To make a long story short. As the day went on, I found the bathroom door locked, so my toddler wet his pants, and my favorite baby bird Spots has disappeared because she was my favorite, and I just announced to the world that I was ready to love again... so I had to pay a price.

But on a good note, the garbage disposal started to work again, and I havent had a panic attack, and the sun is out so I can think about riding even though I won't get to ride any time soon. This is just a fraction of the drama- I'm too drained, angry, sad, irritable, hungry, and volatile to write anything else.

At least the toddler said "sorry mommy". In the nicest voice ever....and then asked to go to grannies house, and I almost killed him.