The Toddler

Oh this brought you joy? This made you happy? Let me destroy that for you. The joys of motherhood. 

I seem to spend most of my time writing on this blog about how my life is chaotic and out of control. At 6am I heard a noise coming from the babies room. "Hi mommy, I'm awake now, I'm ready to go to Grannies house"

"Go to bed! It's too early!"
"No I want to go to GRANNNY NOW!"

The hubster jumped out of bed and placed our defiant toddler back in his room where a gate was supposed to be holding him in his fort. Ten minutes go by, you I can hear an ugh... umph... umph... the sound of little feet pitter pattering down the hallway...

Fuck it... I don't care what he does, I'm too tired.

6:30 am:

"MOMMY!, HI JAMES! WAKE UP JAMES!"
"Get away from your brother! Leave him alone, he's sleep....."
"Goo-goo... da-dad-dad-dadmammaaaaa"

Shoot me in the face!!!

I drag both boys down stairs, way earlier then I would like- I feel like hell.

I step over the gate into the kitchen, and rub my eyes... why is my fish tank water... brown? What... is going on here? I take a closer look and almost drop the runt and the toddler. I quickly put them down and tell them to go watch TV...

On closer inspection I see that someone retarded has dumped ALL... I mean every last piece of fish food into my beloved pristine fish tank, that brings me endless joy and comfort as I wash the dishes a million times a day.

That toddler had scampered down stairs and dumped the food into the tank. The hubster woke up, put the gate back up and put the toddler back in his room... I'm sure he noticed my fish tank.

I frantically start to try and get the food out.... I look at my watch. Of course. 6:45 am... no better time to do this... I love smelling like fish, and dealing with this first thing...

It took me a half hour to get it somewhat composed. The water is still green brown, and my fish are still trying to survive in the muck.... Fatty is thrilled. He was on a diet, and now he has an endless supply of food.

As I was cleaning the plants, a pebble fell down the drain.
That wont hurt it I dont' think. wrong.... The garbage disposal worked, made a terrible noise like there was a pebble in there, and then stopped. I plunge my hands in there...looking for the rogue pebble...       ( I rather pull a turd from the toilet then put my hand in the sink... its a phobia....)

I pushed the red button on the bottom of the disposal system like it was an emergency exit botton... please work red button!! WORK! . Nothing.... I spent the next thirty minutes plunging my hands down the drain and grabbing things that I don't care to discuss....
Misery doesn't even describe my face or feelings.

Its broken....mother... bleep bleep bleep bleppity bleep bleep.

To make a long story short. As the day went on, I found the bathroom door locked, so my toddler wet his pants, and my favorite baby bird Spots has disappeared because she was my favorite, and I just announced to the world that I was ready to love again... so I had to pay a price.

But on a good note, the garbage disposal started to work again, and I havent had a panic attack, and the sun is out so I can think about riding even though I won't get to ride any time soon. This is just a fraction of the drama- I'm too drained, angry, sad, irritable, hungry, and volatile to write anything else.

At least the toddler said "sorry mommy". In the nicest voice ever....and then asked to go to grannies house, and I almost killed him.

Killer Fish on the homestead!

"I'm not dead! Help me! Help me! 9.1.1" "It was fun while it lasted bother Link" "Poor Guy" "Doesn't know he's next"

I was talking to my dad last night listening to him tell me how fabulous I am... and I caught a glimpse of my fish... swimming around... double the size... "what in hell is in Killers mouth?" Killer is the largest fish in the tank and when I first got him he went around nipping all of the tails off of my other fish. Especially Finny. Finny was the runt of the litter. He sat in the corner at the bottom of the tank barely able to swim because Killer ate his fins.

 Anyway, I thought Finny was sure to die so I went and got more fish. Some neon tetra's and a Tiger barb and another smaller Killer... who knows maybe Killer was lonely?. Killer was still angry but settled down a little and Finny grew his fins back along with the rest of the fish. I think the problem is that at the pet store they didn't have labels on the tanks saying whether these were community fish or aggressive fish. I think Killer is part Piranha. He is so angry. AND hungry. I should just name him "mini me".

Any-who.... I had wet hands when I went to feed them the other day and wasn't paying attention. I overfed the fish... like little idiots they went around and ate all of it... the neon tetras (the weakest links) were so fat that I thought they were going bust open. So I didn't feed them the next day.

Remember what I told you in my earlier blogs about a schedule? My fish are on a schedule....

This is what happens when you don't feed my fish.

Left to right: Tiger , Killer and Little Killer.  Thats Killer in the middle. He's part Piranha I think. 

I forgot to feed the fish today so they ate the weakest link.

the weakest link. A half munched neon tetra.



So I took these pictures last night... They ate the rest of Link and then ate his brother.  There is so much death happening on the homestead that I think I should just open a slaughter house called "Nature"

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My dad couldn't help himself after hearing me scream "NO KILLER NO!!" at the fish tank and hung up on him... He wrote this poem and emailed it to me fist thing this morning.

In My Aquarium

By: Bev

My red white and blue Beta,
Through despondency
Or fits of pique

Or perhaps near-sightedness,

Kills

His fellow fish.

Since Tuesday,

He's eaten three,

Which morally

Invites

Eviction, this exhibition of

Unkindness.

Yet though pretty,

Each victim cost

A mere fifty cents.

And while guilty,

My Beta was a two dollar

Bargain.

Therefore,

I'll keep him,

Since fifty thrice

Is fifty less

Than my Beta's

Bargain Price.