Farewell Goldie

Rogue looking after her new flock. Fluffy (white) and Goldie

Taken earlier today 2-3 hours before Goldies demise. Rogue looking after her new flock.

Its a nice day out. I am completely miserable... but it's nice out.

I feel as though I have a very bad concussion. I'm lightheaded, feel dizzy... see black spots... my stomach hurts a little. 

I took a nap. Or tried anyway, I ended up with sweaty nightmares instead. All this equality stuff on Facebook has given me dreams about being a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm all for it...  but I would rather have 5 more two year olds then be the other. 

I woke up to Rogue making her distress call. 

I run outside... no Goldie. 

Goldie is gone. 

Fluffy is inside wedged between a wall and a nest box, visibly upset. Fluffy is never without Goldie.

Rogue is upset. 

Rogue is upset because she has taken to being their guardian. Everywhere those babies went Rogue went... looking after them. 

I don't think I'm going to the barn tonight. I think I need a break... I feel so awful. This is all very stressful. Nothing like watching babies die one at a time. 

Ain't Nature grand?

Farewell Blue

What a terrible day I just had. Nothing amazing happened. I was in a blah state all day. Four o'clock rolls around and I'm eating a handful of dark chocolate morsels cause it was that sort of mood I was in... and I'm just sorta looking into the chicken coop and see an odd bird in there. Who is that? Who the hell is that in my coop? That's not a chicken. I bet it's that damn Hawk again... must be... he's eating on something. Dammit.

I trudge out in my slippers.... sure enough that asshole of a hawk is sitting there like a zombie eating the face of my baby blue laced wyandotte! Blue is dead... that stupid f*cker of a hawk.

Sorry... excuse my language. I am typing this after one glass of red wine. I'm feeling a little looser than normal.

Anyway, no tears. Nope. not going to happen this time. I'm just angry. I've had enough of this shit. I'm going to get the gun and shoot that mother in the face, see how he likes it. Don't care that it's illegal. I hate this damn bird.

Blast... he's flown off trying to carry my headless baby... drops it a good ten feet off the ground, it thumps....to the ground. Oh whats the point. Just eat her...

I'm furious. I go out and close off half the coop. I grabbed some Shepard's hooks and threw them in there to hold up some netting which I have none of.

The coop looks crazy. I have plastic fence as a roof now so that ASSHOLE of a bird can't kill the rest of my family.

Bastard.

Anyway.... I tried to calm down by going to the barn. I got out little miss pony Raven that I am training momentarily.

Of course the ring is a swamp from the snow and rain. I tried to use the indoor. Raven was not liking it, and just acted like a jerk the whole time. I took two steps back in the training process from frustration. Never work with a horse when your heart isn't in it. My heart is a little broken to be honest. The next bird to go will be Fluffy or Rogue. They are my next favorite.... There I said it... jinxed it... go ahead hawk.. I know your reading this shit. Go and kill all of my friends.

I'm done....
This day sucked.
Farewell Blue, I loved you.

Farewell.

We went away for the weekend. I drank way too much on Saturday night and felt like crap all day Sunday. The first thing I did when I got home was check on my chicks. Buffy came running up to me as if to say "Mommy! your home!!!" I picked her up and gave her a cuddle. She immediately made me feel better. I was dying inside... my insides hurt, I could barely think straight, I was working on 4 hours of sleep, and I still had another 6 hours to go before the boys were to go to bed....

To pass the time we went grocery shopping. Not an easy task when your energy level is on E.

Get home, unpack the groceries, cook dinner, almost time for bed... I go out to check on my birds again... I feel awful... I had a spare minute to go and hang out with them.

Orange Feathers everywhere.
NO!.
 I open the door.... The chicks are hiding in the nest box. I grab them... one, two, three.... no Buffy.

No. No. No.

I walk out... a pile of feathers, some entrails... nope. that was it. It was Buffy. The hawk got Buffy.

Awesome.

I have no energy to even cry at this point. I walk inside, go upstairs, sit down on the toilet seat, the hubster is giving Watts and James a bath... "Buffy is dead" Hubster says, "Sorry Scoots, I'm so sorry" He is in an even worse state then I am...

I just sat there like a lump.... that was the final straw to one of the worst days ever.

I went to bed at 7:15... James crying in his crib... not wanting to go to sleep... needed a bottle... I can't move, stick a fork in me. Hubster takes over... and soon crashes next to me... "My god, what a terrible day"

It ain't much better today either... I still feel like crap.
It's grey, cold, windy, not a lick of sun.
How appropriate. This one is going to take me a while to get over.

Killer Fish on the homestead!

"I'm not dead! Help me! Help me! 9.1.1" "It was fun while it lasted bother Link" "Poor Guy" "Doesn't know he's next"

I was talking to my dad last night listening to him tell me how fabulous I am... and I caught a glimpse of my fish... swimming around... double the size... "what in hell is in Killers mouth?" Killer is the largest fish in the tank and when I first got him he went around nipping all of the tails off of my other fish. Especially Finny. Finny was the runt of the litter. He sat in the corner at the bottom of the tank barely able to swim because Killer ate his fins.

 Anyway, I thought Finny was sure to die so I went and got more fish. Some neon tetra's and a Tiger barb and another smaller Killer... who knows maybe Killer was lonely?. Killer was still angry but settled down a little and Finny grew his fins back along with the rest of the fish. I think the problem is that at the pet store they didn't have labels on the tanks saying whether these were community fish or aggressive fish. I think Killer is part Piranha. He is so angry. AND hungry. I should just name him "mini me".

Any-who.... I had wet hands when I went to feed them the other day and wasn't paying attention. I overfed the fish... like little idiots they went around and ate all of it... the neon tetras (the weakest links) were so fat that I thought they were going bust open. So I didn't feed them the next day.

Remember what I told you in my earlier blogs about a schedule? My fish are on a schedule....

This is what happens when you don't feed my fish.

Left to right: Tiger , Killer and Little Killer.  Thats Killer in the middle. He's part Piranha I think. 

I forgot to feed the fish today so they ate the weakest link.

the weakest link. A half munched neon tetra.



So I took these pictures last night... They ate the rest of Link and then ate his brother.  There is so much death happening on the homestead that I think I should just open a slaughter house called "Nature"

******************************************************************

My dad couldn't help himself after hearing me scream "NO KILLER NO!!" at the fish tank and hung up on him... He wrote this poem and emailed it to me fist thing this morning.

In My Aquarium

By: Bev

My red white and blue Beta,
Through despondency
Or fits of pique

Or perhaps near-sightedness,

Kills

His fellow fish.

Since Tuesday,

He's eaten three,

Which morally

Invites

Eviction, this exhibition of

Unkindness.

Yet though pretty,

Each victim cost

A mere fifty cents.

And while guilty,

My Beta was a two dollar

Bargain.

Therefore,

I'll keep him,

Since fifty thrice

Is fifty less

Than my Beta's

Bargain Price.

Ironic isnt it.

I'm so sad right now.

I just posted about my favorite hen Wendy, how much I loved her, and the special bond we had together...

I was just taking out the compost when I noticed a hawk flutter out of the chicken run and look at me for a little too long. I thought... "that's weird, what was it eatin?" and then I look and see a lot of Wendy's feathers, and something coming out of the mud. I get in the pen and see two yellow feet and some blood. I pull her body out of the ground, and see that something has eaten her neck and chewed a large hole in the side of her body. She lay still with her eyes closed. She gave it a good fight... and now its over. I havent cried in a long time, but this broke the seal. Me and the girls sat around looking at the queen not knowing what to do. I dug a hole and had the brood say there goodbyes... they all walked up to her and gave her a small peck as if to say, "wake up stupid". What a crappy day. Will I ever find another chicken like Wendy? Who will take over her job? I guess we will find out. Bye Wendy, we loved you and will miss you here at Lizards Den.

You ate and killed my only friend.