Painful learning lessons on the homestead.

Left to Right: Mango, Spots and honky

It seems like just yesterday I picked up my chicks and was excited to start a new chapter "Hawk Free". Looking at this picture now I suppose I should have known that I had two sick birds on my hands. It has been a very stressful month dealing with sick chickens.

The only chicken left in the picture that I still have is, Honky, the white chick, and she is enormous and healthy.  She is a pullet not a bantam, meaning that she is a large girl. She still sounds like a baby but is already bigger then my adult bantam hens, I keep looking for spots thinking that my tiny favorite girl will peak out around the corner to run into my arms like old times... but alas... it's Honky.

When picking chicks you are supposed to look at their eyes, skin, lift up their wings and look at their feathers. I was too busy looking for friendly, and docile birds, which I suppose means... sick bird.

Mango's legs are very pale in the picture and she never grew. Spots, was so little and frail, she must have gotten pecked in the eye, and was stunted from the large doses of antibiotics needed to save the adults.

Honky is the picture of perfect health. They say to look for yellow legs ( although a silkie should have an extra toe and black skin). So not in all cases are we looking for yellow.

I was playing with spots one day when I noticed that she had one eye closed and was starting to weave her head a little. I opened her eye to find a large white dot on it, and it was all foggy. She was blind in that eye, and she was disoriented. I sat with Mango and Spots in the yard while Ron sat in the middle life guarding the chicks. I got up to get a drink of water and Spots came running after me... "Where ya going?" She said in her little voice... I picked her up in my hand and she promptly plopped herself into my palm and went right off to sleep. She was always looking for a place to sleep... another sign of sickness maybe? I put her back in the coop and said goodnight to her, she went in and immediately heard a squawking... little spots came sliding down the ramp and was chased out by Regina... the head of the flock. That's not good either.... If birds are kicking the weakest link out, that is also a good sign of sickness. They won't even let her sit on the perch at this point. I picked her up gave her a kiss on the head "well I still love you no matter what little one" and placed her on her perch. That was the last I saw of her. I had left the gate open by accident and in the morning all the chickens were roaming, and Spots was gone....

Last night I came home after teaching riding lessons and without even saying hello to my family I made a bee line to my special girl Mango to see how she was doing. "Cheep Cheep! Mango" Not a sound. Shit.... I touched her, and she normally wakes up and gives a soft cheep cheep back as if to say, "Damnit mom!! I was sleeping what do you want now?!!!"
Nothing....She was cold.... and it was 85 degrees out. I picked her up, my hands shaking...She gave out one last cheep and her cold claw wrapped very slowly and limply around my finger.... She was still alive, but barely.

I was startled by the hubster who quietly walked up behind me and placed a warm gentle hand on my shoulder. "It's time I think... scooter" I nodded my head and said a few words in my head and kissed her head and told her I would see her again one day on my Noah's ark of other pets waiting for me. I showed him where I wanted her to sleep... and he took her out of my shaking hands, and told me to go inside.

I came out this morning to pay my respects,  and there was a tiny American flag placed at her headstone. Appropriate seeing as she put up a bloody good fight for me.

As always, I am a little devastated by my weeks journey of death, but it's a learning lesson. I now know to quarantine new birds. Wait till the weather is really warm to clean the coop out. Use a larger grade of shavings. Get medicine into the sick birds faster, don't just wait around for three weeks waiting for them to die. Kill them if they are in pain and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, don't just keep them around because you want them around. AND.... I suppose, don't love them... it hurts too much when they die on you. The last part is impossible....by the way. No matter what.... chickens will pull on your heart strings.

In sickness and health

Mango holding on to her life support. 

I'm in a morally tight spot today. I took Mango my chicken off of life support. Meaning, that I have stopped the antibiotics, I stopped feeding her my power green juice and water, and have left her to her own ways.

This morning she did not speak to me when I said "GOOD MORNING MANGO!!"

Ron (my sheep dog cat) sat outside all night howling.... the same howl he comes to me with when watts is up from his nap and screaming to get out.

Ron has not left Mango's side... he sleeps right next to her and only comes in to eat. I don't quite understand the relationship except I think Ron may think that this is another baby that is clearly sick.

Anyway, I couldn't take it any longer. I can't let her die.... I should really just snap her neck and get this over with, but Ron and I can save her.... I just have to feed her, and she will be up and at them again. Who cares if it is a huge pain in the ass, and that it takes a lot of work. She gets better and it's because of my force feedings.

I picked her up and inspected her... bone thin, she hasn't been eating enough.... She is starving.

After lots of research I have determined that she has something called crookneck. It normally happens with the breed "Silkie" which is the breed of my "Fluffy girl"

Mango is not a silkie. Silkies get this disorder because they have a soft spot on their skull.  All it takes is one sharp peck to the skull from another bird and bam, the neck goes in between the feet, and they start walking backwards. It's neurological.

This could be what Mango has, but I'm not a vet, and for some reason it seems that chickens are hard to diagnose because they are tough little bastards that refuse to act or show sickness.

I'm going to become a chicken clucker (like a horse whisperer only with lucks instead of whispers) and  I know I can save this bird with lots of diligent care. Who cares if she spends the rest of her life walking backwards with her neck all screwy. I have better conversations with her than I do most humans. AND... Ron told me to "DO SOMETHING!, Quick"

It's morally wrong. This bird may be suffering, and I am letting it go on much longer then it should. I am also defying nature. Yet, look at those parents that lost two kids that were really sick... they just prayed for them to get better and did not take them to the hospital and the kids died, and now... the parents are on trial for watching their kids die without giving them medical attention.

I could go to jail..... I HAVE TO SAVE THE DAY!


Anyway, to make a long story short.

I injected Mango, my speechless girl with my green juice and some water. The food is in her gullet being digested. After a half hour I put her on her back and held her claw... her foot wrapped around my finger tighter and tighter as the food passed into her body. And then.... a squeak.

and a purr.....

My girl was coming back to life in front of me. I massaged the bottom of her foot and noticed it turned from white/blue to yellow. The color of health.

She was still in there somewhere.

"Mango my sweet girl.... are you still in there? Mommy is here"
a very week "cheep cheep.... purrrrrr"

What a compliment.
A real purr.... that is only given amongst baby flocks as they snuggle in together under the heat lamp at night.

This sucks.... to be honest. I just wanted some chickens to lay some eggs. I hated birds before this... they are so complicated, and hard to take care of. They have crazy bodies, and personalities.

My whole life I had animals that would just drop dead the minute I brought them home from the pet shop.... Dozens of fish, hamsters, Guinea pigs, rats, cats, dogs, rabbits, chinchillas... are buried in my backyard....

AND now... my curse is that I get very sick animals that just wont die.
All for a stupid purr and some conversation, and the look of gratitude and devotion.
And Ron giving me the look of desperation to save his new friend. I can't take it! I'm special, this bird is special, and Ron is special, we are a bunch of special need idiots bonded to the hip!

It's wrong.
I know it..... Maybe someone should just snap my neck out of this ridiculousness.

Mango...

Things are looking up??

My baby chicken mango is still alive... she's not really improving... but she's alive.

I'm learning a lot about chicken conversations. I have long conversations with Mango, especially at night right before she goes to sleep... I make a sound, and with her little head upside down and tucked under her she manages to peep back.... three peeps is a good sound. A loud one peep seems to be a "I'm thirsty!, or "I'm standing on my head!" or... "I'm stuck in the corner again!" The best sound is a purr sound they make.... it almost sounds like a cricket... this is a sound they make to each other.... as if they are gossiping about a neighbor. I try desperately to get Mango to make that sound for me... but she won't... because she knows... I am not a chicken or an equal.

My family came over this weekend. All of them pretty much were like, "Is that a bird?" She is so screwed up that she doesnt even look like anything. just a round lump of feathers. "Yup she's in there somewhere....."

I'm just waiting for her to die at this point. I have stopped force feeding her.... I just make sure she has food, fresh water and is comfortable. I have stopped the medicine. She is eating and drinking when she gets up enough energy to do so.

I have been documenting her by video. If this bird lives, I will be writing a long article about her and submitting it to backyard chickens. I may even make a cape for her to wear, along with a gold crown. I'm not kidding. It will be a miracle if this bird pulls out of this tail spin.

 I just went out to check on my other birds. They are Ok... some of them are improving. One even laid an egg! The first one in a week. I have stopped the antibiotics on them too. I feel like a weeks worth of high dosage is good enough.

As I went to feed my chicks, Spots came running up to me. She is my speckled Sussex.... She is so soft and sweet. She's my youngest and smallest, yet has the best personality. She just wants to be held. I picked her up and she immediately plopped her little body down in the palm of my hand as if it was a warm nest. She closed her eyes and chirped enthusiastically for me to stroke her feathers. Now, after so much time spent with Mango, I know that the sounds coming out of this bird are pure contentment.

I suppose I am becoming a chicken whisperer. I know how to hold them, talk to them, and even how to look at them.

Now, if only I had this magic talent with humans.

Sick Chickens on the Homestead

So, I have a lot to learn about chickens. They are complicated little creatures. It's not at all like having a dog or a cat that you can put into a carrier and take to the vet.

I think Rogue must have been sick when I found her and put her with my flock. She looked somewhat sickly at the time... I should have known better. Learning lesson #1. Quarintine new birds for three weeks! 

It was the first week of Spring, so I cleaned the chicken coop, and changed out all the shavings, and hosed down the walls and scrubbed everything. I then went out and got some chicks and added it to my flock. This all happened within a week about three weeks ago?

Next thing I know Regina is coughing and sneezing and making terrible wheezing sounds. 

I put garlic powder in their water to help naturally cure their cold. 

I thought that maybe it was the dust from the new bedding, or maybe the damp cold air from hosing down the sides of the coop. 

Anyway, now all of my adult hens are sick. I can't give them medicine because I don't know whats wrong with them. 

Ginger told me to call her horse vet. He makes house calls and has chickens. 

This is going to cost a fortune. For chickens....

Anyway, he is coming tomorrow at 12. Fingers crossed that the medication that they need doesn't cost a small fortune. We aren't rolling in money at the moment. 

This morning I opened the coop and normally all the birds come running out to say good morning... today they all walked out slowly, and one was missing. I opened the inside of the coop and there was Martha... still sitting on her perch looking terribly lethargic. Her comb is starting to fade in color and turn blue... which means something is wrong with her air sacs?. This is bad... it's really bad. 

I sat there for a moment petting her, she closed her eyes as I stroked her behind the ear.... I told her to hold on for one more day... "don't you go dying on me now!" I lifted her off the perch and placed her on the ground, she feels lighter then normal. She slowly walked outside to go sit with the other birds... they aren't even interested in looking for bugs. It's a pathetic site. 

I went in and made some hot oatmeal and rice crispee cereal mash for them. This should warm their tummies. I brought it out to them...they gathered around eating and coughing... normally its' a brawl to get to the food. They gathered around the bowl all taking turns. What is going on?! Friendly, Docile Girls eating nicely together without pecking each other? There is definitely something wrong.

Anyway, I put up a video of my birds on You Tube and Facebook. Once I know whats wrong with them, I will tell the world what these symptoms need. 

Anyway, Enjoy the video of my sick birds. 

The Red Hen is Martha, the large hen next to Martha  is Regina, the Hen in the back is Becky, and the skittish hen in the corner that is lacking a comb on top of her head is Rogue. 

Easter Weekend

Watts has discovered money and candy are hidden in these eggs. We had to do a practice run before he went to do the real Easter egg hunt. 

It was Easter weekend and we got a ton done! My mom is finally back from her vacation which allows the hubster and I to work together to get projects completed.

My dad came over to help again and brought with him a 17' bamboo pole that he chopped down on his way here. He pulled into the driveway with it sticking out of his sunroof. I can't believe he drove around like that, but if you have ever met my dad you will clearly see that he is aloof when it comes to wacky looking things.

The bamboo pole was the perfect addition to the chicken coop roof. The hubster erected two beams and then laid the bamboo pole across the top to act like a roof ridge line. We then pulled chicken wire over it, and secured the edges to the sides.

With three people working on it, we completely covered the top in chicken wire and it only took 5 hours. Not bad. I can now go and get more baby chicks and actually watch them grow into ladies!

I also planted my peas into the new garden beds. However, I forgot to harden them off first. (to put them outside for the day, and bring them in at night to acclimate them to the weather) They will most likely die. I can just plant some more.

We also made it to nanny and pop-pops house in Reading, Pa for an Easter Egg Hunt. The weather blew chunks, but Watts and James had a blast.

James turned 8 months old yesterday, and with that he decided to climb all the way up the stairs on his own, looking back at me, as if to say... "really your going to let me do this?!" Watts decided that James was getting too much attention from me, so he brought some toys up the stairs and they played on the stairs for a while.

I also managed to teach a jumping class on Friday. It was so much fun. I rode a horse named Finn who is super fancy. I can't get him out of my mind. I would like to own him... only he is 17, and that is a bit old. I also worked with pony Raven. I jumped on her back and got her to walk, trot and canter. I gave the ok for her to do lead line classes, which is a big deal because she can now earn her own keep and will no longer be a useless pony sitting around eating and farting her day away.

It was a good weekend to say the least!

James and Watts getting ready for the Easter weekend. Watts is feeding James  a banana. 

James is 8 months now and proved it by climbing the stairs. Watts played with him on the stairs to pass the time. 

Our new Alcatraz chicken coop. We shortened the one side away from the trees where the hawks like to sit and wait. 

The 17' bamboo pole that my dad brought works as a great ridge line for my chicken wire. 

Rogue and Fluffy- best buddies! And now safe and sound.

Our vegetable gardens waiting patiently for plants. Notice my pea's? 

Doh! I forgot to harden it off first. Hopefully it will still thrive. Hardening off means to bring it outside for the day and bring it back in for the night till it has become used to the outdoor climate. 

Regina, Becky, and Martha behind two layers of fence. Safe and Sound, and hating me for coming empty handed. 

Finn and I cantering up to the next jump. Isn't he a handsome boy?! We get on marvelously. He's my new bestie! 

Finn and I jumping for the first time together. He over jumped it by about a foot. I don't mind. The higher the better!  He agrees with me because we share a brain. 

Thanks Dad

My dad is a gifted photographer. This is one of his photographs. 

I have to say that I am pretty lucky. My dad just came to help me fix the chicken coop so that the Hawk's can no longer kill my chickens.

I didn't ask for his help, he just showed up.

Not only did he just show up but he brought with him:

Tools for the fence and roof.
A copy of my favorite magazine Mother Earth Magazine
Starbucks ground beans for a french press he gifted me.
Half and Half
Whipped Cream

and most importantly

his time.

While we were working on the coop he received a phone call from his neighbor saying that Roxy (his dog) had escaped and was running around unsupervised.

He called his teenage daughters who were home on spring break.

He asked nicely for one of them to go and get the dog. She hung up on him.

He tried to call the other daughter but she was asleep... at 2pm. Typical teenager. Finally she wakes up and answers the phone. She got the dog in, but only after complaining about how terrible Roxy was, and how she doesn't come when called.

I would like to point out that Roxy is a handful, but with a little respect she will come when called, and sits, lays down, and even heals.

I did not yell once at this dog. I would say cool and calmly. "Roxy come"- she would glide over to me, I would point my finger at my heel and tell her to "Sit" She would do it, look up at me, and I would softly rub her face and tell her that she was a "good dog"

What all of this boils down to is respect.
I respect my father, and I would never talk down to him, hang up on him, or call him any other name but "dad".

I respect Roxy, I would never scream at her, or call her names. I am firm with her and do not treat her like a show animal. I treat her as an equal.

It bothers me that my teenage sisters do not respect my dad or their family dog.
Both have great potential and will give back twice what you have given them.
I hope they read this, and do something nice for my dad. He deserves it.
He is a good dad, especially to them. They are lucky to have him full time.

Farewell Blue

What a terrible day I just had. Nothing amazing happened. I was in a blah state all day. Four o'clock rolls around and I'm eating a handful of dark chocolate morsels cause it was that sort of mood I was in... and I'm just sorta looking into the chicken coop and see an odd bird in there. Who is that? Who the hell is that in my coop? That's not a chicken. I bet it's that damn Hawk again... must be... he's eating on something. Dammit.

I trudge out in my slippers.... sure enough that asshole of a hawk is sitting there like a zombie eating the face of my baby blue laced wyandotte! Blue is dead... that stupid f*cker of a hawk.

Sorry... excuse my language. I am typing this after one glass of red wine. I'm feeling a little looser than normal.

Anyway, no tears. Nope. not going to happen this time. I'm just angry. I've had enough of this shit. I'm going to get the gun and shoot that mother in the face, see how he likes it. Don't care that it's illegal. I hate this damn bird.

Blast... he's flown off trying to carry my headless baby... drops it a good ten feet off the ground, it thumps....to the ground. Oh whats the point. Just eat her...

I'm furious. I go out and close off half the coop. I grabbed some Shepard's hooks and threw them in there to hold up some netting which I have none of.

The coop looks crazy. I have plastic fence as a roof now so that ASSHOLE of a bird can't kill the rest of my family.

Bastard.

Anyway.... I tried to calm down by going to the barn. I got out little miss pony Raven that I am training momentarily.

Of course the ring is a swamp from the snow and rain. I tried to use the indoor. Raven was not liking it, and just acted like a jerk the whole time. I took two steps back in the training process from frustration. Never work with a horse when your heart isn't in it. My heart is a little broken to be honest. The next bird to go will be Fluffy or Rogue. They are my next favorite.... There I said it... jinxed it... go ahead hawk.. I know your reading this shit. Go and kill all of my friends.

I'm done....
This day sucked.
Farewell Blue, I loved you.

Free Bird

Just got home from a pony party and there was a knock at the door. I normally do not answer the door cause I'm weird and don't like to talk to new people. I went against my better judgement and saw a spiky haired silhouette behind the door.
"Yes?"
There stood a stout older lady with black spiky hair and Jackie O sunglasses. She was very sure that my bird was in her yard, and she kept saying something about a rooster. I knew immediately that this lady was either nuts, or confused... she was rushing me out the door. Before I knew it, I was in the yard with this stranger looking at all of my birds. She was still not satisfied. She told me that her dog was going after this bird and it has been camping in her bushes for about two weeks. This lady needs help, and I seem to know in my heart that I can wrangle this rogue bird. I tell the hubster to look after the boys while I go and help this lady. He has no idea what is going on, except that I am "going to look at a bird".  The hubster looked at me and I recall thinking this may be the last time I ever see him... because I was about to go into this ladies Ford Taurus station wagon, and she was elderly, and she almost pulled out into oncoming traffic. I almost didn't get to save the bird- I was thinking how this was one of the dumber things I have ever done. No cell phone, hubster had no idea where this lady lived, she was acting a little nuts, and her car was a death trap.


It turns out Mary was awesome. Very nice lady that just wanted to save this chicken because her dog was surely going to eat it.

We pulled onto her front lawn cause that's where she parks her car? She points to a large bush... I make a bird call and a little head pokes out "Oh hello!". Yup that there is a hen... a scared very small bantam barred rock chicken.

Now I just needed to get her out of the bush... and with that she ducked and covered into a thicket. I pushed her out one end and she bolted down the yard, I blocked her like David Beckham handling a soccer ball, she went that way, so did I... I was trying to corner her... but nope... she had some moves... her little feet were slapping against the pavement... pavement? I look up... we are now on a road... to main street. I needed to cut this off now... I wonder if birds run out of steam? I was not used to this. My girls will happily come to me... not run from me as if I were a monster. A monster in breeches and boots looking ridiculous at 3 pm on a Saturday afternoon!

Finally! One last turn and this girl was done... she finally squatted and let me wrangle her up into my arms for a nice warm cuddle. She looked almost relieved. "You're not going to eat me?" "Nope not today my friend"

Mary was thrilled. "Wow that was quite the show!" "Now what are you going to do with her?"
Take her home I guess... can she go in your car?
Soon enough I was shaking hands with Mary and was alive and well with a friend back at my homestead.
I put "Rogue" in the coop with my baby chicks and watched as she gobbled up all of their food. They came over and looked up at her, "Mama?" "Sure, I can be that"
A friendship was made with the babies. Good she can stay.

I introduced my other ladies to Rogue and they cocked there head to one side... did a side step right up to her and gave her a hard peck in the head.
"HEY! That wasn't nice!"
They each went up to her and pecked her in the face... so pathetic to watch.  This bird had either been with a Rooster or was moulting... she had missing feathers on her back... and seemed to be stressed as it was. My ladies could almost tell this about her and kept pecking her hard on her bald spots.
Poor thing... she was very submissive and just wanted to be liked.
They finally all settled in... and stopped pecking at her... but I noticed that she couldn't hang with the big girls... she was like the nerd that sat at the end of the table with no friends... It was really hard to watch.

Nighttime fell and it was time for them to go into their coop for the night.
I went out to make sure Rogue had made it in with her new family.

Nope... not there. Great. Where is she?

I shone the light around the run looking... and up in the brambles sat little Rogue on a nice big nest of brambles a good 5' off the ground. "no no silly girl" You're not an owl... and you're civilized now!
I plucked her out of the brush with no problem- gave her a cuddle, and told her that she has a home now. I opened the door and sat her on the perch. She made a thud sound... but sat there... the ladies just stared at her. Blindly. They can't see anything at night. I could have sat a a roasted Turkey there and they wouldn't know.

They didn't seem to mind.
My babies were in their box happily sleeping with each other.
I think she will be safe for the night.

"Goodnight ladies, see you in the morning!"

Poor Rogue. It's hard to be the new girl.

Rogue is on one side of the pen and the ladies are on the other.

Regina is going over to Rogue to peck her "Go on git!"  Notice how well they blend in with their habitat? This is why I don't worry about them and the hawks. 

She doesn't have a comb on top of her head, I think she must be a different Breed of chicken. I feel sorry for my little Rogue girl. 

Buffy, Blue and the Crew

My chicks have moved outside to live with the big girls. They have a box with a screen in front and an opening just large enough for them to enter. This morning I went to check on them. I pull the rope to open the sliding door and I hear the girls jump down off their perch. I always wait for them to come out, and I say to them  "Good morning ladies" they look at me as if to say "yeah? whats so good about it?" wheres my grub?"
Anyway, this morning I didn't bother to look for them, I just opened the door, and then went into the hen house to check on my babies. One, two, three... where is Blue?! I started to panic. Of Course Buffy comes over and wants to be cuddled. "Not now Buffy, where is Blue?" I run out to look for her... There she is! Hanging with the big girls... Buffy comes running out as if she knew who I was looking for and gives Blue a little peck as if to say, "You got mom all upset! Look! Stay with us babies, your not big enough" Buffy herds Blue back into the hen house. They are getting so big so quick, Just a week ago they were in my closet... now look at them, strutting around with the ladies. Oh... they grow up so fast.

Martha says "Is this food? Where's my oats? You always bring me oats... this doesn't taste like oats." 

Back to front: Blue, Fluffy, Goldie, and Buffy. I think Buffy is a rooster. She seems to charge around and boss the others around... always protecting them. 

Regina and Martha heading out the door. "No oats? Screw you mom" is what that look is. 

CHICK Alert

Yesterday the hubster and I went and picked out some new family members. I found a lady named Nancy on Craigslist that lives about 5 miles down the road. She had a green house full of chicks, all different kinds. She was awesome and gave us four of her birds and some food for $30.

We chose a White Silkie ("Fluffy" till other wised named), a Blue Laced Wynandotte, ("Blue" till otherwise named), a Gold Laced Wynandotte, ("Goldie", till otherwise named), and a Buff Cochin (Buffy).

They are the sweetest little birds. Buffy is the oldest and largest. Fluffy is the smallest and youngest. They are currently living in a Tupperware container in my bathroom in the closet with a heating lamp. They cuddle with each other and sleep all day. They know my voice already and make sweet little chirping sounds. They have no problem with me holding them and look at me lovingly when I tell them how beautiful and perfect they are.

I love them.
nuff said.
Shut up!!!! I know... I have become that weirdo that loves birds (Well I love them till they poop on me... ) and then I am done playing with them. That's normal right?

Why didn't I have one of these as a kid?! I would have totally killed it... but so? I would have loved it till I loved it to death. I killed all of my pets (by accident) till I was around 12 or so. Now I can't get any of my pets to die- they live forever. I think it's cause I know what kills them. how morbid.

Anyway, my moms house is a pet cemetery. These suckers are going to live forever!! Unless the hawks get to them, I can't help that. Maybe I should show them video's of hawks going on a killing rampage... do chickens have nightmares? That would give me nightmares. I don't want to scare them, but they need to know they are in danger. Argh... I can't win... maybe I will make them some tin foil helmets. and give them guns- that they can't hold because they dont have hands...that's dumb. Or rather I could put some laser beams on their heads... so they could just look up and kill the hawks. But it's illegal to kill hawks in NJ.... and then they would get in trouble.. or would they?... if it was self defense?. Oh I will just have to teach them to fight. But I don't want them to be violent. Oh they are as good as dead. I can't help them.

Anyway, feel free to help out with names. Here is a picture of them. They even loved the photo shoot. They are little runway models, I have never seen poultry work the camera so well.

Look at how cute they are! They love to snuggle. 

Buffy is a Buff Cochin. Buffy say's "I don't slay vampires I slay hearts! watch out, I'm going to love up on ya!"

White Silkie Fluffy say's "I'll have a taco and a medium coke please"

another one of Fluffy, (soon you won't be able to see her face, so get a good look now)! 

Golden Laced Wynandotte Goldie says, "I'm freezing my ass off out here, put me back or I'm going to poop- ...oh too late!"

Blue Laced Wynandotte -Blue says, "I love you and you and you...your cool....wait what is that? .... is that my poop or.... damnit Goldie! your disgusting!"

Anyway, these are my new babies, and I'm not a hot mess after bringing them home! Adoption is best. I should have done this a long time ago. Wish these girls luck- they have lot's of things that wan't to kill them. It's a tough life, but I want them to have a good life. I can't wait to watch them grow here at the Den.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

I'm feeling like Mr. Rogers today boys and girls. It's the first real show of Spring, in fact that reminds me I have to pay the mortgage, my cell phone bill, and a few other bills that suck. nothing like the first day of the month. Whooo....

But I noticed that there was daylight at 6:30 this morning, not dark and gloomy. I went out first thing to let the chickens out... normally I wait as long as possible. Ron (the cat) was chasing his tail and scampering up a tree. The chickens are even high stepping all over the yard heads held high. Yesterday I went out with Watts and dug up the vegetable garden. I found some worms. Why were they green though? They looked like little zombies... I think they were still in hibernation. Anyway, I'm in good spirits today... it's rare. This winter has been rough on us here at the homestead. Depression was at an all time high and moral was low.

This weekend we are going to hopefully purchase some chicks! I found a lady that lives down the road and she has a variety of different birds. I'm not really that interested in the eggs... I just want a whole bunch of different looking chickens. The one chicken that I am looking forward to meeting at this ladies house is called a Blue Laced Red Bantam Wyandotte. She also has White Silkies, and Buff Cochins!

Blue Laced Red Bantam Wyandotte

White Silkie

Buff Cochin

The Hubster likes the white silkie, but they need special care. I'm not feeling that. Look at that Buff Cochin and his hairy legs. He looks great. I shall name this guy "Kevin". The white Silkie will be named "Kotex" and the Wyandotte will be named "Steely Dan!" Damnit though... these are hens. I need girl names. I'm drawing a blank.

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Blogger is very glitchy when you insert pictures... I just lost a good hour of work and about a page of writing.

I'm too angry to write the rest of this blog now...

I will pick up on this later when I calm myself down.

YOU SUCK BLOGGER! My day is gone to shit. I need honey. NOW.

How to Compost

One of the first things I started when I moved to my new homestead was a compost heap. I was juicing and there was a ton of plant waste. I also have chickens and their poop is perfect for compost. It is full of Nitrogen. I also have almost 2 acres of land to mow, so much grass clippings, perfect for compost.
I also want to start a vegetable garden and all the books say to start a compost pile to make nutrient rick fertilizer for the plants. Everything was pointing to... COMPOST.

I'm lazy though... and I'm cheap. Back on the mainline our neighbor got one of those tumble barrels, and every morning I would see him go out and dump his scraps in there and work the barrel. It was all so clean and perfect, and he paid $300 for it. What a sucker. I was not going to pay for something that tumbled my garbage. Sorry. Not happening.

We had a blue barrel, and I started dumping our scraps in there, and then once a month I dumped chicken poo in there, and then we dumped some leaves in, and once a week the hubster gets the pleasure of taking a shovel and mixing it around. We let the rain water the compost. It rained so much that we had to puncture some holes at the bottom of the barrel to let some of it out.

It made excellent compost tea, it leaked all over our vegetable garden. Liquid gold....

Anyway, our barrel soon was overflowing, and so we needed something bigger. We had some big green ring feeders for livestock. (they came with the house) The hubster got the fun job of dumping the barrel of compost into the green ring. And then we ran... my god what a smell, and it was winter. Everything was frozen... but not our compost... it was hot... doing it's job of breaking down.

Anyway, composting is easy.

I cut the tops off our milk jugs and fill them with all my food scraps. I have a full gallon of scraps a day. We eat a ton of plants.

I give my chickens the carrot peels and dump the rest into my green ring.

I compost everything including my coffee grounds and egg shells.

Things I don't compost are: meat, black walnut tree leaves, weeds that have seeded, coal or charcoal ash, dairy products or eggs, diseased or insect ridden plants, cooking fats, fish bones, dog feces, pig feces, soiled cat litter, horse manure, and anything treated with pesticides.

What I do compost and
What you need:

Brown Organic Matter: dry, woody material like tree bark and branches, dead flowers, cornstalks, shredded paper,

Green Organic Matter: wet stuff, vegetable waste, coffee grounds, grass clippings, weeds, eggshells, overripe fruit,

Water

The brown and Green Matter should be equal.

Also add some earthworms. They are little machines that will do all the work for you.

To attract earthworms to your garden spread some fruit peels and vegetable peels on your garden bed before planting. They will gladly come to the surface to help you.

Also, if you want your compost to work fast, it is best to shred everything into very small pieces before dumping it. They suggest you blend up your food scraps or cut everything into very small pieces.

 I'm too lazy to do this. I think I dumped a whole pineapple in there the other day. I'm just curious to see what happens to it. If it doesn't break down I can take it out.

Check back with us. My compost is still brewing, and I will update you on our progress. It takes time for the matter to break down. I currently have no worms because they are deep in the earth sleeping the winter away.

This is my compost bucket. I cut the top off of a milk jug and fill it everyday with my plant based trash, if it gets too gross I can just recycle it and cut me up a new bucket.

Walking out to "the vegetable" garden. This was taken in February, the garden isn't ready for me yet. 

This is my compost heap. I just dump stuff in there and wait for it to work.


Happy Composting! 

"Hen-Lee" Spring Collection 2013

Google "Chicken Clothes", and this is what you get. I had the idea before I saw this and was really disappointed with how ugly these looked.

I mean really. This is very unflattering. Red on Red? Gross. 

It was a nice day so I went outside to sketch for a few minutes. Everywhere I walk my chickens follow... I found some ground and hunkered down with my book. My girls stay close-by knowing that they are safe from the hawks for a second. I am their mother goose after all. I thought about the sound of music... how Julie Andrews made clothes for the kids from old curtains... and then I thought, what if I made clothes for my girls. I think I got a little carried away.

Anyway this is what I came up with.

"The hills are alive.... with the sounds of my chickens....." la la la la.  The bottom sketch is a 5 minute sketch. The top sketch is my whimsical world. Me as a lady with my lady friends. 

And this is my "Hen-Lee Spring Collection 2013".

Hawk commits attempted murder in Southampton NJ

Harriet the hawk goes after  Regina while Princess Martha and I look on.

Just sitting in my kitchen when I hear Regina bawking outside. "BAWk bawk bawk bawk" meaning... "Shit shit shit shit" to us humans.
I see something the size of an airplane swoop down fast in front of the window and take off just as fast. I jump from my seat and look to see what is going on. That stupid hawk was going after my girls again. I see her fly off with open wings... and land in a tree. Did she get Regina? I dash outside in my uniform (PJ pants, hoody sweatshirt, socks and a cape) and look around for her. Martha and Becky come out from under a bush looking very shaken. "Where is Regina"? They look at me as if I have betrayed them again by not letting them sleep in my house... I look over the neighbor fence. The ground is wet and cold and my feet sink into the cold mud. Ugh... more laundry, these were clean socks!!! I hate icky toes.  I go back in.... and watch. Did that hawk get my girl? I watch....to see.... they walk across the patio to a very thick shrub and give a brrr brrr sound. Out pokes a very scared little face. Ah Regina... there you are. That was close. She steps out... seems she fine... they all circle up give a once over and quietly go under the bush and sleep there for the rest of the day.
 I told my dad and he promptly brings me a fake owl. Hawks don't like owls, worth a try. I don't want to lose another girl. So here is my new pet owl. I shall name him Owen. I'm either going to stick him in the middle of the yard or on top of the hen coop. I just know I'm going to walk out there tomorrow to find Harriet the hawk making love to my Owen. Wouldn't that be great? I can have hawkowl babies... I'm so confused... so torn.... chickens... or hawkowls! I could be famous.
Oh... bother. Meet Owen, he soo handsome...non?

Just waiting.... "Oh! I didnt see you there".

"Can I help you? You would like to talk to WHO? No she doesnt live here. Go away, I'm very busy" .

"I told you NO! Stop it! Leave me alone, no you can't touch my feathers! I'm waiting for my girlfriend Harriet the Hawk, we are to make sweet love later".

I put the fake owl out in their coop and the girls ran inside their house. 

Ironic isnt it.

I'm so sad right now.

I just posted about my favorite hen Wendy, how much I loved her, and the special bond we had together...

I was just taking out the compost when I noticed a hawk flutter out of the chicken run and look at me for a little too long. I thought... "that's weird, what was it eatin?" and then I look and see a lot of Wendy's feathers, and something coming out of the mud. I get in the pen and see two yellow feet and some blood. I pull her body out of the ground, and see that something has eaten her neck and chewed a large hole in the side of her body. She lay still with her eyes closed. She gave it a good fight... and now its over. I havent cried in a long time, but this broke the seal. Me and the girls sat around looking at the queen not knowing what to do. I dug a hole and had the brood say there goodbyes... they all walked up to her and gave her a small peck as if to say, "wake up stupid". What a crappy day. Will I ever find another chicken like Wendy? Who will take over her job? I guess we will find out. Bye Wendy, we loved you and will miss you here at Lizards Den.

You ate and killed my only friend.

Chicken Therapy

They say free range chickens are happier then chickens stuck in a warehouse pooping on their neighbor. Well here at old Lizards Den we believe in this 100%. Let me make it clear that I do believe that bird lovers are weird and can be placed in the same category as cat lovers. You know who you are, so just stop and except that you are weird to all people that don't have a bird or cat. I have both, but I'm normal. So normal in fact, that I invite my chickens in to eat breakfast with my children and I... and then we snuggle.

I had an old high school buddy come around to see our new house. The only thing he knows about country is it is a music genre, and apparently you are a hillbilly if you live in the country. He thought my house was "interesting" but drew the line when Wendy came over for her morning snuggle. He stayed inside and watched with his iphone taking pictures. I invited him outside to come and pet my chicken, but he politely said "no thanks".  Who says "no?!" how often do you get to pet a chicken that loves you? Not any chicken... you get to pet Wendy the most beautiful princess in all the land. 

Anyway, I go back inside and ask him if he wants lunch, and he looks at me horrified. "Aren't you going to go change your shirt? You are covered in bird flu" I promptly say, "oh did she poop on me?" that's a valid question... but no she did not, he merely thought that once you touch a bird you are infected with a  killer virus. What a dum dum. Anyway, to get him to stop making a stupid face I had to change my shirt. 

What I'm trying to say is... I think birds get a dirty rap... yes they have really gross poop... but so do you.  And yes, sometimes they like to step in their own poop... but please.. we have all done that.....and yeah they like to bathe in dust- which is genius because it kills mites and bugs. 

So my birds are awesome, and because I tell them this every morning they have come to love me as much as I love them, and this is the secret to being a Bird Whisperer. Also they love food... so if you want them do something, just hand them some corn based food, and they will sign your contract. With that said, enjoy my photos, and video. (Photos and Video by BevU Productions)

Yes I know this video may be a little strange, but once you get to know me and this blog it will seem very normal. My mom is hoping nobody will recognize me, little does she know I will be famous soon. Animal Planet here I come. Liz the Great... Chicken Whisperer. I like the sound of that!

Wendy getting her morning cuddle and pep talk about being my little princess.

Wendy actually comes in to clean up after my two year old. She eats all the cereal off the floor and then eats all the cat food that Ron (cat) has dropped for her. 

Martha is second in line to the thrown. She is still not too sure about coming in to help Martha clean. I don't push it with her, she doesn't get down with snuggles she just wants the food.

"Ok I will take that but don't you be touching me all up in my feathers".  Actually truth be told the real reason she wont come in is because Wendy is the head of the "pecking order", meaning that if Martha wants to come in, she will get a firm peck from Wendy, who tells her to wait her turn.