Sacrifice and Dreams.

Yesterday my family and I were sitting at the patio table outside eating dinner. Watt's my three old was done eating his dinner, had gotten up from the table and was standing in his tractor that he drives around. He pointed directly at my husband and said " I'm going to poop in your food!"

My husband turns bright red, almost chocking on his dinner and starts to cry with laughter. What a ridiculous thing to say to someone… After we were done wiping tears from our eyes, my son flips around and drives off in his tractor. Three year olds are strange little beings.

Meanwhile, my one year old still refuses to use English as his first language and when he does manage to muster a word out, he speaks as if he's deaf. I'm not too worried about it because somehow he conveys what he wants through grunts and a shake of the head. He is a loving little pig that destroys everything in his path, but is smart as a button and loves like an angel

So those are my kids… that I spend most of my day with, while also juggling a stay at home job as an Interior Designer and Business Developer for an Architecture Firm, and an animal care giver.

The animal care giving may be the hardest tasks for me to juggle at the moment. Finding two hours a day to sneak out to ride, or groom my horse may be one of the most selfish things I can do. I feel guilty for enjoying myself with my horse Raven… I could spend all day out there with her…. honestly, all day. I will always find myself just standing at the gate looking at her beauty watching her walk…. I want to sit in the field with her and watch her take a nap. I'm completely smitten by her.

Meanwhile, my two sons are with my mother destroying the house and driving her blinking insane.

Today the ultimate test came my way. A random email showed up….asking me… no offering me a training job to start a riding school. The email was from the owner… she has an eight stall barn, owns two horses, has a riding ring, a round pen… 16 acres…. and all she wants is for me to take it over and run a summer camp and a riding academy. I re-read the email about forty times, looked up to see where it was… an hour and a half one way…. of course. I forwarded the email to my husband. He wrote back. "Seems a little too far" that was it. Hopes and dreams done- can't take the job because it would take up too much time and money to drive back and forth while raising a family and taking care of my own animals.

I couldn't help myself…. I checked out other horse related jobs…. a ton of jobs all over the place…. offering dream after dream of hard work and dedication worth of valuable lessons and skill sets. All of them… too far away or would take up too much time away from the boys… one after the other was a dream come true…. only to hear in the background my reality… granny yelling at the boys "Stop it! I'm tired, owwww that hurts, stop hitting me, no biting, ugh where is your MOTHER?!"

And so I snapped shut my lap top…. rushed to get some juice and a banana while shoving my hopes and dreams under the bed in my brain.

I just have to think about poop in my food….. to make it all worth while.
"I will poop in your food!" Wattsy said while pointing at my husband.

That…. is worth my time in gold.
A true bout of hysterical laughter…
A great dinner with my family.
And happy kids.

My dreams can wait. Right now I'm sure I am living a dream that will only last a second.

Happy First Birthday James

James with his Granny, she is the only one that can really make him laugh hard. 

One year ago today.... was ummm..... interesting. It was hot, I was very pregnant, and I had one more week to go before being due. I was swollen, and would cry from the heat. My hands and wrists were too big to even hold my watch or rings. I was done, and wanted this monster out.

It was around 6pm. I made pork chops, rice and creamed spinach for dinner. I was feeling fine. I started to get cramps and asked to go take Watts for a walk around the neighborhood as we did every night to help me get my exercise. I remember thinking... I think this is it... I think I'm starting labor, I have time... I want to wait as long as possible to go to the hospital.

We started down the driveway, and we were half way around the block, I had to keep stopping every 5 minutes to breath... it was starting to get intense. I waddled through it. By the time we were rounding the corner to come down the hill I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes. I remember gimping up the steps to the porch and my mom was outside... "I'm in labor, it's bad" My mom being a midwife told me to lay down. She felt my belly, and nodded... "yeah your in labor"

I went to the bathroom and then took a shower... I had trouble getting dressed and had to get on all fours and breath. I laid on the bed and mom checked me again. She looked at the hubster and told him I had to go to the hospital. I didn't want to go, I thought I had time. They were every two minutes and coming strong. I didn't even have my bag packed. The hubster frantically went around grabbing things and shoving them in a bag as I hummed and whined through the pain.

I waddled into the car at 8:30pm , my mom looked nervous. In the car I could barely sit, I would hit the roof every minute or so and whine out loud. Luke drove through a red light... and then I barely got into the hospital ward. The woman looked annoyed at me as we signed in, she just told me to go in... I had to stop every thirty feet... tears welling up in my eyes. The nurses sat looking at me as if I were nuts as I stopped and braced the wall.... four more steps, stop brace... four more steps. The hubster came dashing up to help me walk.

The nurses had me follow them to the room but then there were screams and cops and nurses yelling for a family member to leave... a fight had broken out in one of the rooms that I was waddling past. "Wha-wha-what is going on in there?" The young nurse just told me that a family member became unruly. Well, that's nice... welcome to the world little baby, this was not a friendly environment to give birth.

I changed into my gown as the nurses tried to take my stats... "get up on the bed" "no... I can't I don't want to, too much pain" They insisted... and a young nurse came over to check to see how much I was dilated and just as she did my water broke, and then the earth moved....

I was 8 cm... and was in a terrible amount of pain. The screams came every minute... so loud, that I was apologizing every break to the nurses that looked worried. It sounded as if someone had cut my fingers off and the pain was equal to that. I found some pillows and muted my screams... sweating, crying, screaming, scared.... There was no time for drugs... this baby was coming fast. A random man came in and coldly told at me to flip over... as I flipped I could feel the head hanging out. He told me to push, and then I was holding James. I felt much better. I could have ran a marathon and felt like doing so. The endorphine rush was amazing. I felt amazing. It was worth it to do it natural.

I delivered at 8:56pm.

For the next two days I sat with my healthy new baby boy... bonding with him... He slept for the next two weeks straight. Slept so hard that we had to wake him up just to eat. Such a little munchkin.

Now a year later my baby is a toddler going on a man. He often walks over to me for me to pick him up, tiny little arms held up in the air. He wraps his legs around me tight and rests him head on my shoulder quietly saying... "daddad da, nam nam nam" He is such a little cuddle. He then gives out a sigh throws his head back grabs my ears as hard as he can and covers most of my nose and mouth with his mouth.... slobber, teeth, tongue.... that's his way of giving a kiss, and then the head goes back to the hug position.

He loves to play with Watts, and watches everything he does. He loves to climb up on the sofa and look out the window. He loves the horses and cat. Raven my pony is very curious by James and will often come up and let him stick his hands in her nose and give her slobber kisses to her face. It's as if Raven knows that this is my baby. James has no fear... and often if the vacuum is going will try to surf on it.

He loves food, but will not let you feed him. Everything needs to be placed in his hand so he can feed himself. He is such a messy eater that I take his clothes off, and when finished I unlatch his diaper and place him directly into the sink and hose him down. He is the messiest baby I have ever known. He loves to eat paper, and will often try to eat toilet paper. He loves the toilet, especially if the water is yellow, like flash lightning he plunges his fists into the bowl and splashes it around. It infuriates me. Especially since I'm trying to get Watts toilet trained.

When I go shopping I often have James in the shopping cart. With out fail there will always be some stranger talking to him, or commenting on how "that is one happy baby!" he always smiles at strangers, and will always raise his arms up to them to allow them to hold him. He loves people.

Every morning at 9am he starts to become very cranky. He starts to rub his eyes and follows me around crying until I give him a bottle of milk and put him down for his nap. He normally sleeps till 11am, and then has his snack. When he does cry it is bad. He has a deafening shrill high pitched annoying cry that makes me want to kill kittens. Yet, the only thing I have to do is pick him up and he will stop. Yet, good luck putting him down, the scream will get worse. I normally have to distract him with food, which in most cases he looks at me as if I'm nuts, screams in my face and violently throws the food on the ground hard looking at me with hate till I find what he wants.

He loves water, he just started to go to his granddads pool. He naturally paddles his arms and legs and blows bubbles in the water. He has no fear of the water, and needs to be watched at all times. He dive bombs into the water, with no fear. He can be dunked under the water, and with a few small coughs he comes up with a big smile.

I wish he could get a job destroying things and making a mess so he could pay his way. He is a walking wrecking ball... but he's my wrecking ball and he is such a little love. He's my little cherub. He refuses to say mama, even though I know he can. We often have arguments. He screams at me "DADA!" and I scream back "MAMA" he chuckles and says it again. He knows, my name isn't dada. Yet today... he looked at me and said it... "mama". He wasn't feeling so good this morning, a small fever, and sore bottom.... he has been growing some more bottom teeth. As I carried him to his crib he rested his hot little head against my shoulder and quietly murmured...."mama mama" and gave me a squeeze. That made my dad and was the best present I could have on a day that dam near almost killed me a year ago.
My little James... happy birthday! It's been a whirlwind of a year. You were worth every tear, every scream, and all the pain during my ten months of carrying you.

Love,
Mommy

Baby Food Recipes

James (my 9 month old baby) does not like jarred baby food. I suppose this is because I introduced him to my health food that came with nutrition and taste. Whatever I eat he eats.... sometimes this is hard because it isn't baby friendly. Sometimes it's too spicy, or has honey, or is too sharp or hard for him to gum on. I had to get creative.

Everyday, I make a pitcher of my "green juice" in my blender. I normally put 2 green apples, 2 oranges, 1 handful of spinach, 2 peeled carrots, and a dash of cinnamon, blend for one minute and drink it throughout the day.

James will eat baby rice, but gets bored of it. One day I thought to add some of my green juice to it to give it some taste and nutrition. He loved it. He was lunging for the spoon and couldn't get enough of it. My two year old also loves green juice. I only give him a small amount because it has a lot of natural sugars in it from the apples and oranges and I don't want to blow his system . I water it down for him.

Anyway, this got me thinking... I could just blend anything into a juice and add it to his baby rice or oatmeal and it would be better then the baby food in jars.
It takes seconds for me to blend it and store it, and then I have it all day to mix and match as I please.
I can also pour this into ice cube trays and freeze them so he has something to teeth on. I have a pacifier thing that has a clasp with netting. You can put an ice cube or large piece of fruit in it,and the baby can hold it and suck the juices through the netting. It's great.

RECIPES!

Green Juice
Blend:
2 apples
2 oranges
2 carrots
handful of spinach
1-2 cups of water
dash of cinnamon
-mix with rice to thicken to your liking

Hawaiian Delight
Blend:
2 apples
1 orange
3 frozen banana
1 carrot
1/4 cup of water
-mix with rice to thicken it.

The Big Green
Blend:
hand full of spinach
one celery stalk
a pinch of Kale
frozen peas, carrots, and corn
one carrot
1/4 cup of water
-Add to baby rice.

Rice Crispee with Yogurt and Fruit
Let some Rice Crispees soak in whole milk yogurt of your choice till they get soft. Add some cinnamon, or mash some banana or strawberry in it.


Frozen Banana Swirl
Take an over ripe banana and cut it up into small pieces, place in zip lock bag and freeze.
Take frozen banana and put in blender, add a dash of cows milk, coconut milk, soy milk, or almond milk and blend till thick like a milk shake.
Serve.

Pina Collada
Blend
Frozen Pineapple
Silk Coconut Milk
Add rice to thicken

I SUCK

She ran... while we were asleep. 

I'm a terrible mother to humans. It's as if I don't understand them...and yet I am one. Maybe if I hot glue a tail on my boys I will like them more?

Currently, Watts is being toilet trained and James is Teething. I have a 9 month old that screams non-stop all day. His cry instantly makes me want to throw him out the window, it is one of the most irritating sounds I have ever heard. I hate it with a searing passion. I have to often walk away and go outside. It makes me want a hard drink and a pack of cigarettes. Most of the time he isn't even crying. He's just screaming for the hell of it.

Then....while I am trying to get James to.... shut the f*ck up Watts has pooped on my floor... AGAIN. After I have spend ALL MORNING asking him to sit on the potty, praising him, and giving him stickers  and reading to him, to be rewarded with shit on my floor? Why? Did I sign up for this.....

He did it on purpose, as if to say, "You turned your back on me for 1 minute to tend to that baby, here's a turd.

I am so overwhelmed with intense anger and hate for these children and mostly myself.

I hate myself. I feel like a terrible mother.... and sometimes I don't care. I am getting close to sitting the both of these boys outside with a sale sign. I would never do this, but I have thoughts of it.

Being a mother SUCKS!. Its not ice cream and lollipops. It's hard kicks to the stomach while putting on a sock, puke on your favorite shirt, and shit on your hands along with a nice big pee stain on your sofa.

Oh don't forgot the sticky lollipop on your leather interior, food thrown all over your floor, and a doodle in your favorite book along with a tantrum over the use of a cell phone or a sip from YOUR coffee that they can't have.

Brats.... ungrateful little brats.

The best part... is when people tell me it gets worse. "Just wait till they are teenagers! " Fuck that, they will be in boarding school if this keeps up.

I never wanted children.... I never walked around with a stroller and a doll.

 Instead, I was outside with a magnifying glass burning bugs and setting trees on fire.
This curse happened to me when I turned 27... all of a sudden I was "missing" something in my life.
A baby... I had to have a baby.
Something to love me... something warm and cuddly.
Sure they are cute to look at. Sure I get a kiss and a hug once in a while or a funny comment that makes me laugh, or a sense of pride when they do something I taught them.... or contentment when I finish the day without popping a vein in my eyeball.

But is this worth it?
Not right now... nope.

I rather be at the barn all day playing with horses and driving a really clean sports car while looking at my manicured nails on the steering wheel and worrying about if I will have time to get my highlights done.

Me me me me.... where did "me" go?

No wonder women rebelled against the man... and got jobs, and stopped having kids- this stay at home- mommy world shit sucks.

I know I'm not crazy... even my mom said it was exhausting and she is like mother Theressa.
 She left yesterday while we were all napping. Left is the nice word for it... she ran ... I don't blame her one bit... I just wish I could do the same.

Without her I don't know what I would do. I need help, and she is the only one that can give me a minute to breath through this tough time. So thanks mom- I love you... See? I appreciate my mom. She had to put up with me.... and she was 42 when she had me. All of my relatives say that I was the worst ever. What goes around comes around.... and now I am faced with two of... me. Run for the hills. I have duplicated myself.

Keep in mind- this is my only way of venting. I do not take any anger out on my boys, and they have no idea that I feel this way. To them I am just a cleaning lady, teething thing, jungle gym, lunch lady, lawyer, punching bag and play date that gives the occasional hug and kiss for a boo-boo. I do love them.... just not every second of the day.

And with that, I am off to fix the tap that Watts just broke while washing his hands.
I'm also a plumber....
Not to mention that wipes clog the toilet. They are worse then tampax.
Had to find that out the hard way.

Look at my spawn.... they sure do look cute... but dont be fooled, they suck energy. 

Easter Weekend

Watts has discovered money and candy are hidden in these eggs. We had to do a practice run before he went to do the real Easter egg hunt. 

It was Easter weekend and we got a ton done! My mom is finally back from her vacation which allows the hubster and I to work together to get projects completed.

My dad came over to help again and brought with him a 17' bamboo pole that he chopped down on his way here. He pulled into the driveway with it sticking out of his sunroof. I can't believe he drove around like that, but if you have ever met my dad you will clearly see that he is aloof when it comes to wacky looking things.

The bamboo pole was the perfect addition to the chicken coop roof. The hubster erected two beams and then laid the bamboo pole across the top to act like a roof ridge line. We then pulled chicken wire over it, and secured the edges to the sides.

With three people working on it, we completely covered the top in chicken wire and it only took 5 hours. Not bad. I can now go and get more baby chicks and actually watch them grow into ladies!

I also planted my peas into the new garden beds. However, I forgot to harden them off first. (to put them outside for the day, and bring them in at night to acclimate them to the weather) They will most likely die. I can just plant some more.

We also made it to nanny and pop-pops house in Reading, Pa for an Easter Egg Hunt. The weather blew chunks, but Watts and James had a blast.

James turned 8 months old yesterday, and with that he decided to climb all the way up the stairs on his own, looking back at me, as if to say... "really your going to let me do this?!" Watts decided that James was getting too much attention from me, so he brought some toys up the stairs and they played on the stairs for a while.

I also managed to teach a jumping class on Friday. It was so much fun. I rode a horse named Finn who is super fancy. I can't get him out of my mind. I would like to own him... only he is 17, and that is a bit old. I also worked with pony Raven. I jumped on her back and got her to walk, trot and canter. I gave the ok for her to do lead line classes, which is a big deal because she can now earn her own keep and will no longer be a useless pony sitting around eating and farting her day away.

It was a good weekend to say the least!

James and Watts getting ready for the Easter weekend. Watts is feeding James  a banana. 

James is 8 months now and proved it by climbing the stairs. Watts played with him on the stairs to pass the time. 

Our new Alcatraz chicken coop. We shortened the one side away from the trees where the hawks like to sit and wait. 

The 17' bamboo pole that my dad brought works as a great ridge line for my chicken wire. 

Rogue and Fluffy- best buddies! And now safe and sound.

Our vegetable gardens waiting patiently for plants. Notice my pea's? 

Doh! I forgot to harden it off first. Hopefully it will still thrive. Hardening off means to bring it outside for the day and bring it back in for the night till it has become used to the outdoor climate. 

Regina, Becky, and Martha behind two layers of fence. Safe and Sound, and hating me for coming empty handed. 

Finn and I cantering up to the next jump. Isn't he a handsome boy?! We get on marvelously. He's my new bestie! 

Finn and I jumping for the first time together. He over jumped it by about a foot. I don't mind. The higher the better!  He agrees with me because we share a brain. 

Happy for Monday.

My life on a sunday.

I actually looked forward to a Monday for the first time ever.

What a nightmare of a weekend. Nothing went right. The kids were badly behaved. The hubster was in a bad mood all weekend, which put me in a bad mood, which rubbed off on the kids. We got nothing done. We spent all of Saturday cleaning the house, I was looking forward to hanging out with my old college buddies that had been planned for a month.

My friend picked me up and we drove an hour into the city to meet up with the rest of the group.  Everyone that said they were coming, didn't show up. The people that did show up were on their cell phones the whole time. Nothing worse then having a phone shoved in your face showing you some website or a picture. Just put the stupid things away and be in the moment. It's terribly rude, and boring.  Needless to say, I think I'm done going to reunions.

All of Sunday was a complete downer due to me working off of 4 hours of sleep. I stumbled through the morning barking and flipping out every other minute. If it was annoying or loud I was going to let you know about it. I tried to take a nap and woke up to an angry family. I came downstairs and James stank of stink bug and Watt's had tricked the hubster into taking him to the potty, where he quickly broke loose and peed instead.... on the floor. Hubster is furious that he can't find diapers, Watts is running around naked, and I'm busy smelling Jbone's mouth to figure out if he actually ate the stink bug or was accosted by one. The hubster is insisting that James was attacked by the stink bug. I'm not buying it. I swear he burped up stink bug. Neither here nor there at this point....

I get everything in order and everyone settled down and in the car to go grocery shopping. I thought it would be nice to get some mussels that were on sale. $3.00. Get home and open the trunk of the car and almost threw up from the smell. The mussels stunk. It smelled like the bay at low tide. Argh.... of course.... my romantic dinner would have to stink to high hell. The hubster is annoyed with me because I kept talking about the smell.... we push dinner off till after I put the tots to bed.

Get the boys to bed and try to clean the mussels. It took an hour to determine what was dead, what wasn't... watching several videos on "You Tube" to see how to cook, clean, and check mussels...  by the time I got them clean and in the pot the whole house reeked of dead sea life. If you ever want to play a prank on somebody you hate with a passion, take 5 rotten mussels and hide them in a house or a car... hell it could even be outside.

Anyway,  Get them in the pot... add some white wine, garlic, this that, it's looking good... add some toasted bread...

Try to make it romantic and finally sit down with a glass of wine some candle light... and watch as the hubster takes his first bite. His face winces as he digs something out of his mouth... "I think I just bit into a pearl". "Thats not possible... mussels dont make pearls" "Well here... hold this pearl that was in my mouth" sure enough a tiny pearl....

I take a bite... my mouth was full of sand, grit, shit and the taste of rotten bay. That was enough to make me snap. "I can't eat this..." I get up from our dinner and start throwing dishes around... I look over and the hubster is sitting there all by himself looking pathetic as I throw a shit fit. Poor man, he was wearing the same face as a dog about to be euthanized.... now I'm just angry that I exist.

We both ditch the bay, drink the wine, and eat some home made hummus. The wine calms me down, and put's me right off to sleep.

I have never been so happy to see Monday.

All before 10.am.

It started at 6:45 am. Yesterday I went to go and get my mom and bring her with me to my house because she had some teeth pulled. My two year old loves his granny and shows her love by acting like a little monster. He throws tantrums, abuses the rules, and gets away with murder... I have to turn a blind eye because grand parents are supposed to spoil their grand kids. Only... my kids take advantage of the situation.

Anyway, last night Watts would not go to bed. "Granny Granny Granny" he kept calling, and like a sucker she goes up there and tries to get him to go to sleep. Normally we just tell him to go to bed and he does it or else. I hear her reading to him and trying her best... till she comes downstairs and announces that she will be taking him to bed with her because that's what he wants to do. "Good luck with that" is my only response. I would never want to sleep with a toddler, they are hot torture devices that punch you in the face or private parts every 5 minutes.

Anyway, a few hours later I'm off to bed, and not a peep is to be heard... I guess he went to sleep.

6:45 am.

blah blah muffle muffle... noise. Coming from upstairs in grannies room. He's up and chit chatting away....I immediately feel sorry for her.

7:30 am. They are up... and I guess so am I now. Along with James... the day is starting early.
7:31 am. First tantrum. He won't get dressed.. and is running around naked.
7:35 am. He is now on top of the washing machine naked and is getting yelled at by me, which makes the tantrum worse.
7:45 am. Second tantrum. He wont sit in his high chair.
8:00 am. Third Tantrum. He's run into a door while trying to run from the high chair.
8:30 am. He's in trouble because he was laying on top of his baby brother.

It goes on and on and on...

Turns out he didnt sleep last night. He kept waking up every 5 minutes.
Wonderful.

Granny goes to let my girls (chickens) out of their house and comes back and asks if it is normal for one of them to be trapped in the strawberry patch.
"What?!" Martha is running back and forth under the net of the strawberry patch... she's been there all night and we had a frost. I go running out and get her... she's very upset... clicking and chatting at me telling me about her night..."and how animals tried to get her, and how she couldnt see, and why didnt I notice her in the patch?, and she's hungry and thirsty"... took me a while to get her to calm down

Go back into the house...
Watts is riding around on grannies back screaming "Ride em Cowboy"  things seem ok. Poor woman... she has a broken back and here is jumping up and down on her. Oh well she is having fun I think.

Back to the computer...

The hubster gets an angry email telling him to count the chickens before locking them in...

but then.
more noise... more tantrums...
The tantrum turns into a complete shit storm... I have lost complete control, and the only way to gain it back is to do an emergency nap.

Warm bottle of milk... and a nap at 9:30 am.
James went off for his nap and now I can write this blog.
Silence....
ah....
You single people take this all for granted.
Poor granny- her face is throbbing from getting her teeth pulled and has to deal with my horrible temper, my horrible screaming kids... and now she feels guilty that this is all her fault.
It's not her fault.
This is what a two year old does.
Especially when you take him off his schedule.

Naked Watts on top of the washing machine first thing in the morning.  

Riding Granny like a cowboy. 

poor granny exhausted at 10 am. I feel so bad for her. 

Toddler Bed from hell.

Watts in his pathetic bed on the floor.

Yesterday I went to my mom's house to see my brother. My brother is 42 with no kids or girlfriend, and lives a simple life in the city. (He also hates my blog, and thinks I am a crap writer).  He suggested we go out to an irish pub that he likes in Ardmore. I havent taken the boys out to eat in a very long time. It normally ends up with the two year old throwing food or insisting that we go somewhere else like the park, or throwing the silverware at the wait staff... it just makes the hubby and I look at each other with death eyes wondering who came up with this terrible idea.

Anyway, I thought, well if they suck I can blame it on my idiot brother. It turned out that my two year old was a saint. He was quiet, he played nicely, I was so proud. My little 6 month old is always a saint, I never have to worry about him acting like a fool. We actually ate our food slowly and had a nice time.

So while we were at my moms house we grabbed the extra baby crib mattress. It was time to put James into Watt's crib, and it was time for Watt's to get his own toddler bed.
We get home around 4 pm. We had to take the crib apart just to get it out the door and move it into another room for James. This only took an hour. It took about 5 minutes to put it back together. We make it look all pretty, clean sheets, bumbers around the outside, crib skirt, mobile... all of Watt's old stuff but James didn't care.

We place James in his crib... he loves it.  He can't believe how much room he has to crawl around... he loves the mobile, and loves that his favorite toys are in there.... and then it began. Watt's comes pummeling over the side and lands inches from James screaming that it was "his bed." The Hubster and I look at each other wondering how he just got into the crib without the aid of a step ladder. We took him out. boom. He's back in. Gymnastics may be in his future.

We assure him that he has a NEW bed. A Big boy bed of his very own. We take him to his room and there it was... A pathetic little mattress sitting on the floor in the corner of his room. "Look! You even have your very own pillow". (Meanwhile, the pillow case is jammed with two sofa cushions) The kid doesnt even have a pillow. He looks at me like I've lost my mind. I grab the gate that traps him in his room and put it at the head of his bed to make it look more like a bed. It just looks pathetic. Watts lay's in his bed like a coffin and closes his eyes. They open fast. He's not buying it. The hubby and I look at each other...hubby says,  "I can't do it, this goes against all my parenting instincts" ( I have been searching on craigslist for a Thomas the train toddler bed. They are really expensive, and so I wanted to get a used one... to no avail.) We could just buy a cute little wood bed at Walmart for $40. "Ok go and get the boring bed from Wally World" and the hubster puts his cape on and fly's to wally world to get a boring bed.

 An hour later... he's back. It is now 6:45 pm. Remember about schedules and rules... you can't take my kids off their schedule or else it's brim and fire.
Hubster feverishly tries to put this bed together, meanwhile Watts wants to help by playing with the screws, taking the white packing foam and crushing it into millions of tiny pieces and walking on the slats, potentially trying to break the bed before it even comes to life. I'm starting to hyper ventilate from the mess... James wont go to bed, the hubster is getting frustrated with the instructions, Ron the cat wants to nap on the instructions....and now Watts is having a shit storm and throwing his toys down the stairs because we wont let him in his room because he was making a mess... baby is still crying. AND it's 8:00. Time for bed.

Anyway, I finally get both boys bathed, the floor cleaned up, Luke is putting on the finishing touches, I'm reading Watt's a story on the floor while hubster puts the toddler rails on... and then he says it. "Oh no...." "I look up....what.... happened." "I put the footboard and headboard on the wrong sides, so I can't put the toddler rails on, I'm going to have to take this thing apart again, I can't believe I did that! " "Nope... your not going to take it apart, because it's time for this guy to go to sleep.Tape that sucker on and we can finish this tomorrow" So... He takes some of that flexy wire (that holds toys in box's - I save them; they are great... and it always comes in handy)... and we make due. Watt's loves his big boy bed, and I finally get him to sleep by 8:45. Not bad.

AND... James only woke up once during the night because Ron was trying to spoon him.
AND.... When the hubster woke up at 6:45 am he went to find Watts missing. So he followed a small sound coming from downstairs... There was my devil child... Watts in the forbidden kitchen... pouring water from the Kettle into a sports bottle, footprints and water everywhere, PJ's are soaking wet -and working his way over to the vitamin drawer, then the fridge, then under the sink... . And so it started all over again...

only this time at 6:45 am.
Kids.... do you really want them?

Watts climbs into James bed and just barely avoids crushing him.