Sleep and Stress

That would be me... before I saw my light (the hubster).  I was super miserable. 

I don't stress out like the normal human. I have always had a half ass approach to life. Thankfully I learned early! It started in school. I was failing things left and right. Sure I would get upset... and then one day I figured it out.

I thought... "Does any of this really matter?" I noticed that after a week I would forget about that paper I failed. I had moved on. There was no need to get that upset over it.

So... I stopped trying to be good at things I didn't understand.
I stopped caring about being like all the other perfect students.
I concentrated on things I was good at instead.

My stress level went down, I became happier, and dumber,( because I just stopped listening to my math, english, history, social studies, science, and french teacher)s.
I just plain sucked at listening to intellectuals blather on about shit I didn't  care about. I wasn't dumb, I just wasn't interested in it. So of course, I was going to fail it. I just had to think differently to get the stress off of me. 

I would draw doodles of my teachers, played the violin, rode horses, ran track and field, did the dive team, and worked after school. I was a failure in school, but I was still achieving things. I was also less stressed out, having a blast, and because I added some happy to the equation was passing with average grades without having to study.

So.

Stress.... You create it, you can control it.

I believe people get cancer and illnesses from stress. Stress from money problems, relationship problems, social problems, work problems, educational problems, health problems, family problems, my god the list never ends.


So how do you get rid of stress? Thats the hard part.

I bring this up because I haven't slept well in a week or so. My stomach feels like it is full of acid, I am having dreams, weird ones. It all points to stress and anxiety for me.
I know my body.

I look deep into my soul, and I know what it is- that has triggered my mini panic attacks. I don't want to address it in my head, but I have to. I keep trying to think of something else. "Stop thinking about it!" That didn't help.

Instead, I spent an hour last night thinking nothing but IT. I went over every option in my head. I then asked myself the one question. Can I change it? No. I can't change it. It's going to happen regardless if I am living or not.

With that, I fell asleep.
Maybe stress is caused from avoidance?.

This is what this blog is for. It's my diary. I have always had a journal. I would write all of my feelings down, or concerns. I would list all of the things that sucked in my life. I would then write all the things that were great. (Usually none)
I would write a future list of things to be accomplished.
And now I'm here.

An example of something I once drew to ease my stress. This was my Edgar Allen Poe phase. 

I take one day at time. I take life seriously, mistakes lightly, and play hard. I don't wait for something to happen, I make it happen.
If I want it - I GET IT!
Stress comes and goes.
It's not worth it.

The hubster and I share this attitude. He is a "do"er. It is very refreshing to be able to count on him for this. He never says "I can't, or no" It's always considered, and it can always be accomplished. He's an amazing person that way. (I also attract genius' ) It's a gift. I also have a great team mate. It helps to have help.

We often become frustrated with friends and family that just sit there talking about dreams, or no dreams at all, and meanwhile, they can do it RIGHT NOW... but don't from fear of failure.

Yup... talk about setting oneself up for failure. I  entered a bikini contest because I wanted to get over my fear of bikinis and nudity, and maybe get into some modeling. I came in dead last. BUT! I learned from this, and it makes for an awesome story! 

Life is short. Stressing about shit will make it shorter.
Do me a favor and think about one thing that you always wanted to TRY.... and do it this weekend. May I suggest a bikini contest?
I promise you. You will thank yourself. or not... but you will always have pictures to remember it by!

This is me now... holding my squeezy stress ball. (Kids for the record create stress- take caution when having them)