Thursday, October 1, 2015

Pet Peeves- the list gets worse every year.

We all have those little things that drive us nuts. I have a long list... and I would like to think I am an easy going person, and easy to live with....

How many of these things bother you? Am I just a weirdo nut case? Is it so much to ask that people to notice these things too?

Lets start the list shall we?
Here it goes.

Bathroom:
1. When I sit on the toilet my eyes hurt when I see dust bunnies in the corners. You know... those little wads of hair, dust and dirt that has managed to wedge itself along the corner of a baseboard?

2. Toilet rings! There is a thing called a toilet brush. When a ring starts to form just take that brush and give it a good ring around... we have a huge problem with this since no one I live with likes to flush "yellow water" the grey bio film... It drives me mental. Toilet brush... is my favorite friend these days.

3. Dried toothpaste on the handle of a toothbrush. My mom was the worst with this. Even as a child I would always know which brush was her because the handle would be covered in a dried chalky toothpaste. I don't know why this really bothered me.

4. Toothpaste gobs on the countertops. I find myself scrubbing globs of toothpaste off of the sink basin and countertops. I'm going to blame the hubster and boys for this one. It pains me to take a sponge and smear it around till it comes off.... it makes me gag. Call me a freak.

5. Hair in the drain of the bath tub. Ok people... it's my hair. I'm shedding like a dog right now... and I keep clogging up the drain with large amounts of hair... but I still cringe when I have to pick up that soft wet mass of nastiness out of the drain. I curse myself... on the verge of shaving my own head so I don't have to deal with this gross act of femininity.

6. Wet floors. I'm big on stepping out of the shower onto a floor mat. The hubster however takes his big hobit feet and marches his little wet flippers all over the hard floor... and I'm a sock wearing person. So my socks are always wet. Worst feeling ever. Cold wet soggy feet. The worst.

7. Toilet paper facing the wrong way or toilet paper rolls with no toilet paper conveniently sitting on the toilet paper holder. People of the world. The toilet paper should be facing on top and go down. and...it's really not that hard to change the holder.

Floors:
I was raised with the constant sound of a vacuum cleaner going. I used to sit in bed at 9 am and curse my mother for vacuuming. The sound still makes me angry, but alas her hard work paid off because now I am super sensitive to dirt on the floor. I notice dirty floors. Thanks mom for that!

My mom also made me super sensitive to dirty stairs. She would clean the stairs every other day. I thought she was nuts... Now I notice all the dust bunnies on them, and do the same things. Thanks again mom... for another anal retentive trait.

I really don't like to mop the floors. I feel like I'm just swooshing around wet dirt, and bacteria. Call me crazy... but when I do mop I do it till that water isn't brown anymore... which takes me a good hour and the floors are so wet you can't walk on them for hours.

Windows:
Tiny hand prints on the windows.... or tv. I have learned to just ignore it, but when my mom comes over, she has a field day windexing the life back into them.... only to find them completely clouded with more pudgy hand prints again ten minutes later. That's a lost cause. But I do notice it, but have forced my eyeballs to see through it.

Sinks:
Once again my mom is weird about scrubbing the sink. She doesn't like to see water marks or dirty sinks. We have a white farm sink. Mom lives in England. I still scrub the crap out of our sink thinking she will be over any second to tell me how dirty my sink is. I wasn't born with the dirty sink syndrome, that was trained into me. Don't get me started on dusty wood shelves.

Food:
Loud chewing sounds or gulping sounds. Just shoot me in the face. I just can't handle it. I will call you out about it, and come close to slapping you if you make disgusting noises near me while chewing your cud. This is why I rarely sit in a quiet room while eating with someone else. I just can't be a nice companion.

Leftovers gross me out. I find them to be smelly, and I can't bring myself to reheat them. You might as well put a bag of horse poo in my fridge. I aint going near that.

Condiments sitting next to the milk. Condiments not located on the door, Food and drinks on the same shelf? No organization... things aren't in their place? No. No. No. You have messed with the wrong person.

Peanut butter in the fridge? NO! Bread in the fridge. NO!!! I can't stand for such absurd things. Way to make my peanut butter spreading days impossible.

The crisper drawer.... ugh. You might as well call it the "lets hide a bunch of parishables and never see them again until they turn to liquid nastiness" The hubster loves to buy bags of carrots and spinach. I never see them until the smell hits me, and I have liquid veggie yogurt sitting in  the hidden drawer of nastiness.

Opening new stuff while the old stuff slowly makes it's way to the back of the fridge. The hubster is great at putting new milk right in front of old milk... no no no. The old stuff goes in front of the new stuff people. Get on board with this. Nothing worse then having a milk competition of lets see which one doesn't get used because we don't know how old it is. I don't do sniff testing. If it needs to be sniffed just throw it out.

Trash:

So much trash... everywhere. My trash can is constantly over flowing. It usually does this when the bag falls down and more trash get pushed on top. I'm not touching it. I don't do the trash. Yet, when I do- I take the bag handle and wrap it through a loop at the top so the bag doesnt collapse. Such a simple fix unless I wasn't the one to put the bag in there.... and then you have overflowing trash. With the game of "who will deal with this? not me"

Trash under the bag. Whoops I threw some trash into the can with no bag. I'll just ignore it and put a bag over it. NO NO NO! Pick that stuff out lazy people.

Oh I'm exhausted. I can go on for days.
But wait there's more.

DISHES!!!!
in the sink, food stuck to them, not washed.
the smell....the eye sores.... I can't deal with it.
I need a clean empty sink. Once dishes start to pile up I start to rage in my little head. I get angry, and start banging the dishes together cursing the idiot that did this to me.
Food stuck to pots, pans, forks.... there is a reason why I'm rail thin. Once I see this, I go on a eating strike. I curse food for existing, and vow never to eat again. Till I get hungry and have to clean up... again. It's a never ending cycle of mysery for me. I really just don't like dealing with dishes.

Laundry:
I don't like clothes either. I don't like clothes on the floor, I don't like folding clothes, I don't like washing clothes. If it were up to me I would like to just throw dirty clothes in the trash can instead of dealing with them. This is why I have uniforms.... I wear the same outfit everyday until it is crusty, or falling off my body. I don't care. I hate doing laundry. The hubster is terrible with his laundry, he hides it and makes these piles around his closet that look like little beaver dens. His solution is to kick it into his closet and they magically go away. He has no clothes to wear. I refuse to deal with that. Call me a bad wife. I don't care. We have 5 laundry baskets in every room. If the clothes don't make it in there, they ain't getting washed.

Socks:
I have a rogue sock basket. One a month I go through the rogue basket and match the socks. All of a sudden we have tons of matching socks. I try to mentally make a game of it. "Oh good" today I'm going to test my brain to see how many different navy blues, blacks, and dark browns I can separate in the fastest amount of time. Ready go.

And yet with all these pet peeves... my house is still a mess. I have become numb to it all... I can only do so much. I feel like Bob with a jar around my neck with a goldfish. Babysteps to not freaking out.... the world will not end. Everything bothers me. My little head is always freaking out over such small stupid things. And then I hear my mothers voice. "It doesn't matter, just let it go"

Let it go where? It never stops.
Things could be worse. I could have no arms... and I wouldn't be able to deal with half of this stuff on a daily basis. NO ARMS! Better yet. No eyes... to see it all avalanching towards me.
My little bubble...is neurotic.


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