My Dad loves chickens almost as much as I do, but he isnt allowed to have them. He talks wild stories about chickens, and knows a ton about them. Today he stated that he wished he could sit in his chair and watch his bird friends and chicks walk around while they thought of him as their father hen. So in leu of that I did this quick sketch. Did I mention that I was once an artist? My dad is my only fan. He's actually more like a manly cheerleader rooting for the handy cap team. We love him anyway.
More than 10,000 comments were instantly formed in Breadloath’s head upon viewing the chickenman post. Here are 12 of them:
ReplyDelete1) Behold! Sprung from the Earth’s rich moist loam—it is I! Chickenman! Kneel before Chickenman and be anointed!
2) It is worth mentioning that 7% of chickenmeat is, in fact, horse anus.
3) So this guy walks into a doctor’s office and he says “Hey doc, I got this chicken on my head, can you help me out here” and the doctor says “No, I cannot”
4) I AM BREATLOATH!!!!!
5) I have recently developed a patented surgical technique for implanting a fully functioning gizzard into the human esophagus. With this, my gift to humanity, all Mankind shall have the opportunity to grind grains in their throat as do our glorious chicken brothers.
6) If you love chickens sooooo much, then why don’t you….. oh, never mind.
7) The quantity of chickens is irrelevant to a Man’s life; rather, strive for quality. If you find only one chicken to love, then love that chicken with every molecule in your being.
8) Of course, the 7% figure quoted above is a gross simplification of the epic Truth. I would tell you the complete and unabridged story here and now, but…. no, not today...
9) Breadloath grows weary of the chickenman topic and wishes instead to discuss the anathema that is multigrain toast.
9b) Why grind grain in the cold mill of a factory when it can be pulverized in one’s own warm implanted gizzard? (patent pending, see above)
Breadloath, your name is spelled "BREADLOATH", not "BREATLOATH" (see your comment #4 above). Breatloath is actually a good friend of mine, and I wouldn't want anyone to think that this vile manifesto or whatever it is you think you've written belongs to him. Also, I would like to point out that using the word "anus" makes you neither funny nor edgy. I can assure you that nobody is impressed with your pronouncements, so please return to the dark crevice from which you oozed. Liz, I like the sketch very much.
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