Children's Book.

A few people have urged me to write a children's book. "You have all the stories in your blog, the book is there"

The thought makes me cringe. After several attempts to try new things, I have failed 99% of the time. I have learned not to invest money into my talents, and to climb the ladder one step at a time, very very slowly. Three steps is about as high as I have gone so far. I'm scared of heights, and success.

Ugh… this is useless… one of the boys has locked himself in his room. I can't even think STRAIGHT! How am I going to write a book if I can't even type this sentence!

Be right back….. kid needs rescuing from his room.

Thank you "Minions", Snacks  and Juice Cups… I can now get back to what I was saying. I even had time to switch over the laundry which included one wooden block, my husbands fishing license, and my mothers slipper. My brain might be in there too, but it's too small to find.

Anyway,
Children's books….
Another problem I have with writing a children's book is that there are MILLIONS of them… mostly ripped and colored on in my house. Every topic has been exhausted. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure people have stopped buying books. All the books we have were handed over from other grubby kids. I have never bought a book for my children.
That sounds terrible. I'm a horrible person.

Yet…. it didn't hurt me to look into the process. Which quickly became overwhelming, and daunting. Guess how much one book costs to print on average? $12-$25. On top of this, most authors invest a few grand into their books. With maybe a $500 payment back if they are good. So what is the point?

My kids have no interest in me, why should others? The whole idea is nonsense. It's a lot of work, and it costs way too much money. Plus the time, and effort to illustrate, and write, and edit, and… yuck.

Yet…. I suppose I could publish one on my blogger…. and then you…. the reader could let me know if it sucked. Who am I kidding. No one reads this blog.

Ok well that was my thought pattern. I'm done thinking about it. All the odds are entirely not in my favor.

Oh Mr Art, and Miss Creativity, how you kill me so. I wish I had been born with math skills, and an attention span to cure cancer instead of this nonsense and useless, money pit of a hobby.

"Oh…. I wish I could draw!"
That comment always pisses me off.

In my mind I scream…  "AND THATS WHY YOUR RICH!"

I'll stick to making greeting cards. It's easy, the cost is not exorbitant, and it is a great way to see if people like me… if they... really really like me, and my sick twisted humor.

And then maybe I will try taking a few steps up that ladder. But right now, I'm wearing a parachute… with holes in it.
Which coincidentally matches the holes in my pockets.

In the meantime, enjoy my mood with me… here is a quick sketch of a cartoon I did. My dad didn't like it…. (we can't always be happy daddy. We just can't).

This is a dead dear on the side of the road with a "Get Well" balloon tied to it's leg because the little girl thought it was just sick. How bout that for a children's story?  Bambie never woke up because it jumped in front of a car and that's why you should look both ways before crossing the road. It's a start, I can really feel the millions rolling in now. 

Giselle

"I'LL SHOW YOU NUTS!!! How to Train a Crazy Horse"
By Liz


Ginger got me a new horse to work with a week ago. We went to Auction and Ginger spotted this really lovely looking chestnut (orange in color) horse eating hay very quietly. I thought it was a nice horse too... but I think all horses are nice. 

"She's a little over the knee" says Ginger as she stares down this mare. (girl horse). "I have no idea what that means" "Her knee is over the front of her leg, her conformation is not great... but she sure is pretty"

We left before we even saw the pretty horse run around... all we saw of it was... it eating some hay. 
Ginger bought her a few days later. 
We go to pick her up. A man in his 70's comes out of his trailer hut, bow legged, wearing old man jeans, boots, a hat... blazing blue eyes, with crows feet from the sun. You can tell this guy has been around the block a few times. 
"Now... this horse has been returned twice now... she's too much horse for the last two people, she also jumped out of the pen, she sure likes to jump, do you have a good rider?" Ginger just smiles, and replies "yup" I'm sitting there like an idiot not knowing what to think... 

We get the horse on the truck and bring her home. 
My mind is racing. Who is the good rider going to be? I can't wait to watch this person ride the crazy horse! Turns out... this horse is for me. I named her "Giselle" originally I was thinking Gazelle.... but now it's after the ballet called "Giselle". Her show name is "Peasant Girl". 

I waited a few days, and the day had come, I was going to hop on my new horse that is crazy! Whooo can't wait to die. 

To make a long story short. I didn't die. But Giselle does have many issues. One being cross ties. (Ropes that clip onto the horses collar to keep it still while you brush and put stuff on it) 
She hates them, and told us this by kicking a huge hole in the wall. 
Now she gets groomed and tacked up in the ring. She loves to eat grass while being brushed, she is an angel. 
Next, she hates people on her back that own a pair of legs. If you touch her with your heel, she pins her ears back and kicks, or bucks. 
Someone has done something terrible to this girl. Maybe spurs? Maybe kicked the crap out of her.... it's either pain, or fright. 

Next, she hates to run left. She thinks this sucks and likes to give a nice big buck. It doesnt bother me... I think it's cute. 
Anyway, a week later, I have the kicking down to a minimum, and the bucking seems to happen from discomfort which we are still looking into, or balance issues. The great thing about auction horses, is that they are a mystery. 
I jumped her last night. She sure likes to jump. I figure I might as well be a little crazy with her. Let her act out, be as bad as she wants, and all she's going to get in return is a ton of love and praise. She gave a few good bucks last night, and then scared herself... thinking that she was about to get a beat down... nope, nothing but "Thats it? That was cute, c'mon let's ride now, enough of this silly stuff, we are here to have FUN!" And with that, her ears perked forward and she sailed me over a jump.
I jumped off, gave her a hug and kick, and she closed her eyes as if to say. 

I'm home. 

Get'in some Cardio

Raven and I practicing for a triathlon.

Yesterday I was working with little Raven the pony. She is getting much better every time I go to lunge her. This time I wanted to see if she would jog next to me. I started to jog and she picked up her trot right next to me. It was a neat feeling. If I stopped she stopped. She kept her distance about 4' away  to my side. I ran over some poles laying on the ground and she followed without a problem.

Ginger the owner of the barn walked past the ring and yelled out "What are you doing?! Getting some cardio in?" I immediately felt stupid and lost my self awareness and must have veered into Ravens path, next thing I know I have a horse pummeling the back of me, coming close to almost running me down.

She regained her footing as did I... and we kept on jogging around in the ring both looking a little embarrassed but determined to regain our composure.

 It reminded me of when I used to go running on trails with my dads Great Dane "Lucy". I had a vision of taking Raven with me to the same park and going for a two mile run with her.  She was a better running partner then Lucy, and isn't much bigger. Who knows, maybe this horse could be my new partner. Then who knows... marathons maybe, screw three day eventing, she rather do a triathlon.  Anyway, here is a drawing of what I had in mind.
Enjoy!

Grab a canoe!

Christina posted this photo of the paddock today on Facebook and then this conversation took place. 


Grab a canoe!!!!!!

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  Kari     Ugh. Gross.

  2 hours ago · Like
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  Christina     Better luck tomorrow!!

  
  
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  Kari     I probably won't be around tomorrow, Sunday?

  
  
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  Liz    I'm feeling left out. I guess I'm not invited on the boating trip. 

  
  
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  Kari    Liz, you are obviously required to attend. You bring the oars.

  
  
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  Liz      I have a blow up boat AND oars! SAdly no life preservers or a fishing license though. YAY! oh... umm... who is bringing the keg...cause I aint boating without some brews.

  
  
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  Kari    Ginger would bring that. She's the bartender.

  
  
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  Christina    Ill bring the life preservers.. Safety first! And I don't know if I have ever been on a boat with out beer. Do people do that?

  
  
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  Liz     I went tubing without beer once... we were lucky enough to tube for three hours next to a party boat that brought beer. It was thrilling to watch people party that hard. I learned the hard way. I eventually jumped off my tube and swam for shore because I was having that much fun watching people drink without my company.

  
  
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  Kari    I'm pretty sure beer prevents seasickness. Can't go without it. I also went tubing without beer once. I spent three hours listening to my tubing partner (Matt) complain how slow the current was and how thirsty he was.

  
  
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  Liz    yes hubster did the same. oh and it rained for a little while.

  
  
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  Tina    Now I'M feeling left out!!! ;P Even though I'm technically gone until Monday.

  
  
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  Kari     Tina, you're on music. We're going to need that too while we are bobbing around with our beer.

  
  
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  Liz       Tina....No rap music...I get too rowdy while drinking and listening to it. Also, no jazz... it ruins my mood. Disco is fine and welcomed. Along with show tunes.

  
  
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  Kari     Sorry Liz. No disco. We're going to have to compromise here if we are all on a little canoe together.

  
  
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  Liz     but you havent seen me dance yet

  
  
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  Kari     Alright, we can let you do a try out. But if you point your finger up and down and do Stayin Alive, we can't allow it.

  
  
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  Liz      damnit. fine. no dancing then.

  
  
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  Kari    Maybe some classic rock?

  
  
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  Liz      Ok sounds good. I do have a habit of singing along... I have a wonderful voice. You are in for a real treat.

  
  
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  Kari       Me too, but I usually reserve that for when I drive in the car by myself.
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  Liz      reserve no longer my friend, I will let you sing with me on our trip around the paddock. Tina and Christina are going to have a great time with us crooners.
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  Kari    I am picturing the four of us in a blow up boat in the middle of that puddle. It's happening.

  
  
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  Liz      I'm doing a cartoon of it.
  

  
  
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  Kari     Yess!!!!

  
  
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  Tina     Show tunes it is!

  
  
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  Cindy     SnapDragon fundraising idea...a comedy show featuring you ladies! You friggin crack me up!!!!