Thursday, June 27, 2013
Learning Lessons
I have just been given a great lesson about horses that I was not taught at summer riding camp, or working in the barns. You don't learn this lesson till you have to take care of your own horse all by yourself.
I thought that when I moved three horses into the field next to my house that it would be free. Free land, to put three free horses. All I would have to do is provide water and the occasional vet bills, farrier, and dentist. They would just eat grass and it would be affordable.
The first big expense was to divide the field in half. The lower half had openings in the fence, and was too overgrown to mow, and it was very wet and swampy. I needed an electric fence. I needed to get a Solar Fence charger because it was too far away from our garage to supply electricity. I had to research the fence how to put it up, get the fence tape, and grounding rod, and boom I had fence.
This all cost about $350-$400. And this was a cheap alternative to getting real fence put up. As I drive by horse barns now I notice their PVC, or wooden fence. How did they afford that? Your looking at about $1,500- $10,000 in materials and labor to have a real fence. I never thought about fence before, it had always just been there.
Next, I had to focus on the grass... was there any poisonous plants? Was the grass too rich? Was there any holes from groundhogs? After a week of the horses living in the field, they started to drop weight. How could they be losing weight so fast if they are constantly eating grass? I have poor quality grass that has lots of weeds, it clearly wasn't enough to keep their weight on.
I would never had known this otherwise... every place I worked at always just put their horses in the field, and then in the morning they were fed grain, hay, and supplements and then they were fed again in the PM. I never thought about horse food before... never realized that even though these horses were turned out to pasture that it wouldn't be enough for them.
So I had to go and buy bags of horse food. I started with regular grain. $12 a bag. After a few days, I noticed it wasn't enough, they weren't gaining weight. I had to give them more food. I decided to add some sweet feed. $12 a bag. I mixed the two together, and was giving them a quarter of a scoop, which went up to a half scoop, which then turned into a whole scoop of food. About 1-2 lbs of food for two horses and a quarter pound for the pony. The bags of food are 50 pounds. About 50 scoops of feed are in each bag. The horses were going through 5 scoops of food a day. After twenty days I needed more food.
After all of this my horses were starting to gain weight except for Giselle the lowest on the pecking order. She eats very slow. Ellie, the other horse would eat her food fast, and then push Giselle off her bucket and then eat her food too. Giselle was only getting about a quarter worth of food, and was losing weight. I decided to add a supplement feed. Empower Balance. $22.79 a bag. It has all the nutritional benefits, and is high in fat. I had to research all the different feeds. Which kind of food would be good for horses in light work that are pastured? I had a few options. I learned about Rice Bran, and Beet Pulp, but decided on the expensive supplement.
Now that Ellie has put on weight due to eating all of Giselle's food, I decided to make a makeshift stall to put Giselle into so the other two brats wouldn't eat her food. I put up some posts and made a box with some poly tape. Giselle can finally eat her food in peace.
Now I have them all figured out with the feed, and they all have their special diet plans.
Today I spent $42 on 150 lbs of horse feed that will last about 20-30 days (hopefully)
There is no such thing as a free horse. They all cost money.
A month: for three horses
$42 horse feed
and then in the winter I'm going to have to give them hay which is $5-6 a bale. They will go through about one-two bales a day. Lets just say $10 a day. $70 a week $280 a month....
If I had stalls I would need bedding not sure how much that would cost for straw or shavings.
And this is just the start.
I need a truck to haul the stray and hay before winter comes, and a trailer to haul my horses to shows, or trails, or clinics.
A good used trailer is about $6,000-12,000.
And a truck with a V8 engine and tow package strong enough to haul a horse trailer. New is $20-30,000. Used in poor condition $2,000.
To board a horse it costs about $350-600 a month.
And here I thought boarding a horse was really overpriced. You wonder why these barns charge an arm and a leg to care for your horse.
The horse world is a money pit, and I really didn't understand the costs of running a business till I watched my boss Ginger struggle with the payments every month.
I don't know why we never learned about this at camp, or at the barn. I think that should be a lesson for the kids when they ride... they should know how expensive it is to keep horses. They need a lot of care and they eat a lot of food and they are delicate creatures that need a lot of time, and medical care.
It's been a wonderful experience, and I suppose I'm really lucky to have learned this before trying to start a business. In order to have horses you need to have a lot of cash just floating around- nothing about horses is free.
Monday, June 17, 2013
How to win the trust of a horse.
I just had a Monty Roberts kind of break through. Two weeks ago I had three horses put into the field next to my house. It then rained, poured and made my field into a sponge. I was beside myself... The two horses that I had in the field are in constant training, and I could not ride them.
To pass the time I groomed them, watched their behavior, and worked on trust games. My little pony Raven is a five year old baby, and to challenge her trust I would jump on her back with no bridle, no helmet, no saddle and sit on her back while she ate grass. She acted as if there was nothing wrong with this situation. I was waiting for her to bolt, drop her shoulder and dump me to the ground. Instead, Ellie, her lover came over and would nudge my leg, as if to say, "Get off my girlfriend"
Giselle is my other project horse. Ginger bought her from Camelot Auction house. We had no idea how this horse moved, where she came from, and we didn't test ride her. The day had come when she was at the Stable with us, and I was to ride her. She was nervous, and quick. It took all of my strength to calm my nerves, to keep this horse from taking off and bucking me off. She kicked, she bucked, she was a hot mess to ride. I was scared of her, and was a full hot horse full of nervous scared energy.
Over a month I gradually worked with this horse. She still bucked at the canter enough to throw any beginner rider to the ground. I kept my heel planted and my leg on her and rode her through the bucking. Still, I was nervous to ride this horse. Ginger had an acupuncturist come in, to do her magic. After a few days, I went to ride her once again. Still the same horse. I was terribly disappointed, but held strong to my hope. I had to think back to when I hated to ride little Raven, and then one day she turned a corner and became a joy to ride. I learned from this that with consistent slow work one day it seems to click with these horses. My second ride was better, and then she threw a shoe.
Now I have Giselle in my field. I had all of her shoes pulled and her feet looked at. She is now barefoot. I don't know much about her.... her health background or who owned her before me... She is a Thoroughbred off the track. She has had two wins. She is by no means a loser. She has won $20,000 in winnings. What happened to this horse? The more I found out about her the more I tried to win her over. I wanted her to trust me.
She was head shy- I couldn't touch her head without her thinking that I was going to hurt her in some way. This was a sign to be gentle, no matter what this horse does wrong. I touched her face all over... over and over again, to the point where now, she knows... that I will never ever put a hard hand to her body or face. When I come to her she walks up to me, and places her whole head into my body. She relaxes like a Golden Retriever and lets me hold her head for a massage of the for head, and kisses to the muzzle. Then on cue Raven will be nickering at my rump, asking me to love her too. I have been accepted as the head of the pack. They follow me around with their heads bowed low, and trust me to groom them with out being tied up. They stand still while I brush their legs and face.... they enjoy my company. I don't have to raise my voice, yet, with a stern voice I can tell one to go away, or one to stand better for me and they obey. I have respect from these enormous animals.
Tonight was magic.
I had received some terrible news, and was very stressed out. I was itching to get a release in some way. I knew that riding was the only way to calm my nerves and to get my mind off of the tragic news. I decided that tonight was the night that I was going to ride in the field. I wanted to ride Raven, because she was a safe bet... yet, I have no bridle that fits her yet... My bridle fits Ellie and Giselle. This morning I lunged Giselle to check the footing. It seemed hard enough.... and she was having no problems going around on the uneven grass. I grabbed my saddle, helmet, bridle, and marched out to the field determined to get something done.
I put Ellie on the other side of the fence this morning. She has separation anxiety, and the only way to rid her of this is to separate her. She had finally calmed down. I grabbed Giselle, and without even putting a halter on her I put my saddle on her, she stood like a rock. No kicking. I held her head and asked her for one huge favor.... "Please give me a nice ride... please don't buck me off, I am so stressed out... I really need you to make me happy...." She bowed her head into my chest, and took the bit happily. I took one last breath and threw my leg over the saddle. I was on ..... here we go.... this should be interesting. Raven was loose in the field with us, and followed us at the walk for a couple minutes before she relized that Giselle was a working girl right now... she got bored and wandered over to the run in shed, and stood in there as if it was a stall. Watching.... Meanwhile, Ellie was trotting up and down the fence line calling out to Giselle.... Giselle ignored her- almost as if to say, "Shut up! I'm working!"
I was able to put my leg on her, no kicking.... or ears pinned. She did a nice slow trot, not the usual extreme stride bouncy, uncomfortable urgent trot that I was used to. Am I on the right horse? I was able to do a wonderful sitting trot figure eights, Giselle went right onto the bit, collected up on a loose light rein... she was ready for the deadly canter. Do I dare ask her to do this? I was envisioning her to pinn her ears, give a huge buck and gallop uncontrolably down the field over the fence and dump me next to Ellie. I was expecting it. This is something Giselle would do. I asked her... "ARe you ready to Canter?" and with that she picked up a canter, a slow controlled canter bending effortlessly around the circle I had made up in the field. It was comfortable, I could have ridden her at the buckle of my reins. And then I noticed that her ears were perked forward... was she actually liking this? YES! She was happy, to do this for me. I asked for the walk, and she responded. I walked her down to the bottom of the field. There is a slight hill going up to the end of it. I was going to see if I could control her on this. I asked her to come to a stop at the bottom, and then asked her to "Canter!" and she took off up the hill in a wonderful controlled hand gallop, within seconds we were at the top. She circled, balanced, bending.... and then when I asked her to halt she slowed down and came to a dead stop. She gave out a big sigh.
It went on like this for the next 15 minutes. Walk down to the bottom, canter to the top, circle, stop. It was the best ride I have had in a while. I jumped off her.... I took the saddle off, and the bridle, and with a huge Thank you, I wrapped my arms around her next. her head went limp on my shoulder, she was hugging me back... I pulled away and her eyes were closed. That is one... happy relaxed horse. She opened them slowly. "Thank you! For that my sweet girl... you are amazing!" Then Raven came galloping out of the run in shed and demanded that I too tell her how amazing she was for staying put in her "stall"... The breeze had picked up... I stood there with my two favorite girls... Both demanding my love, and me absorbing every moment with both of them.
I am a horse trainer.... I know that I have a special gift for animal behavior. I took a pony that is as stubborn as a mule and made her into a a wannabe show pony. I took a scared, abused off the track race horse and made her into an event prospect. I did this in under two months.... and all it took was lots of ground time with them. I spent lots of time hanging out with them as if I was one of them. I spend a half hour every night grooming them, massaging them, scratching their itchy spots, and treating them as if I were another horse...I just look different.
I don't think enough people take the time it takes to gain the trust of their horses. They are too busy breaking them.... throwing devices on them to make them do things that are un natural to them. They work them too hard too fast. They do things the same way for too long.
I do it differently. I become one of them, I gain their trust, I become their mothers.... I treat them with respect, and I love and care for them as if they are my own kids. I feed them well, I give them fresh clean water, I make sure they are comfortable. That's all horses want... They want to be free, they want to be horses, they will take your love and turn it to gold. They are quick to forgive, but will remember the day you harm them.
Like I said, it can't be a fluke that I just won over two horses... I must be doing something right.
To pass the time I groomed them, watched their behavior, and worked on trust games. My little pony Raven is a five year old baby, and to challenge her trust I would jump on her back with no bridle, no helmet, no saddle and sit on her back while she ate grass. She acted as if there was nothing wrong with this situation. I was waiting for her to bolt, drop her shoulder and dump me to the ground. Instead, Ellie, her lover came over and would nudge my leg, as if to say, "Get off my girlfriend"
Giselle is my other project horse. Ginger bought her from Camelot Auction house. We had no idea how this horse moved, where she came from, and we didn't test ride her. The day had come when she was at the Stable with us, and I was to ride her. She was nervous, and quick. It took all of my strength to calm my nerves, to keep this horse from taking off and bucking me off. She kicked, she bucked, she was a hot mess to ride. I was scared of her, and was a full hot horse full of nervous scared energy.
Over a month I gradually worked with this horse. She still bucked at the canter enough to throw any beginner rider to the ground. I kept my heel planted and my leg on her and rode her through the bucking. Still, I was nervous to ride this horse. Ginger had an acupuncturist come in, to do her magic. After a few days, I went to ride her once again. Still the same horse. I was terribly disappointed, but held strong to my hope. I had to think back to when I hated to ride little Raven, and then one day she turned a corner and became a joy to ride. I learned from this that with consistent slow work one day it seems to click with these horses. My second ride was better, and then she threw a shoe.
Now I have Giselle in my field. I had all of her shoes pulled and her feet looked at. She is now barefoot. I don't know much about her.... her health background or who owned her before me... She is a Thoroughbred off the track. She has had two wins. She is by no means a loser. She has won $20,000 in winnings. What happened to this horse? The more I found out about her the more I tried to win her over. I wanted her to trust me.
She was head shy- I couldn't touch her head without her thinking that I was going to hurt her in some way. This was a sign to be gentle, no matter what this horse does wrong. I touched her face all over... over and over again, to the point where now, she knows... that I will never ever put a hard hand to her body or face. When I come to her she walks up to me, and places her whole head into my body. She relaxes like a Golden Retriever and lets me hold her head for a massage of the for head, and kisses to the muzzle. Then on cue Raven will be nickering at my rump, asking me to love her too. I have been accepted as the head of the pack. They follow me around with their heads bowed low, and trust me to groom them with out being tied up. They stand still while I brush their legs and face.... they enjoy my company. I don't have to raise my voice, yet, with a stern voice I can tell one to go away, or one to stand better for me and they obey. I have respect from these enormous animals.
Tonight was magic.
I had received some terrible news, and was very stressed out. I was itching to get a release in some way. I knew that riding was the only way to calm my nerves and to get my mind off of the tragic news. I decided that tonight was the night that I was going to ride in the field. I wanted to ride Raven, because she was a safe bet... yet, I have no bridle that fits her yet... My bridle fits Ellie and Giselle. This morning I lunged Giselle to check the footing. It seemed hard enough.... and she was having no problems going around on the uneven grass. I grabbed my saddle, helmet, bridle, and marched out to the field determined to get something done.
I put Ellie on the other side of the fence this morning. She has separation anxiety, and the only way to rid her of this is to separate her. She had finally calmed down. I grabbed Giselle, and without even putting a halter on her I put my saddle on her, she stood like a rock. No kicking. I held her head and asked her for one huge favor.... "Please give me a nice ride... please don't buck me off, I am so stressed out... I really need you to make me happy...." She bowed her head into my chest, and took the bit happily. I took one last breath and threw my leg over the saddle. I was on ..... here we go.... this should be interesting. Raven was loose in the field with us, and followed us at the walk for a couple minutes before she relized that Giselle was a working girl right now... she got bored and wandered over to the run in shed, and stood in there as if it was a stall. Watching.... Meanwhile, Ellie was trotting up and down the fence line calling out to Giselle.... Giselle ignored her- almost as if to say, "Shut up! I'm working!"
I was able to put my leg on her, no kicking.... or ears pinned. She did a nice slow trot, not the usual extreme stride bouncy, uncomfortable urgent trot that I was used to. Am I on the right horse? I was able to do a wonderful sitting trot figure eights, Giselle went right onto the bit, collected up on a loose light rein... she was ready for the deadly canter. Do I dare ask her to do this? I was envisioning her to pinn her ears, give a huge buck and gallop uncontrolably down the field over the fence and dump me next to Ellie. I was expecting it. This is something Giselle would do. I asked her... "ARe you ready to Canter?" and with that she picked up a canter, a slow controlled canter bending effortlessly around the circle I had made up in the field. It was comfortable, I could have ridden her at the buckle of my reins. And then I noticed that her ears were perked forward... was she actually liking this? YES! She was happy, to do this for me. I asked for the walk, and she responded. I walked her down to the bottom of the field. There is a slight hill going up to the end of it. I was going to see if I could control her on this. I asked her to come to a stop at the bottom, and then asked her to "Canter!" and she took off up the hill in a wonderful controlled hand gallop, within seconds we were at the top. She circled, balanced, bending.... and then when I asked her to halt she slowed down and came to a dead stop. She gave out a big sigh.
It went on like this for the next 15 minutes. Walk down to the bottom, canter to the top, circle, stop. It was the best ride I have had in a while. I jumped off her.... I took the saddle off, and the bridle, and with a huge Thank you, I wrapped my arms around her next. her head went limp on my shoulder, she was hugging me back... I pulled away and her eyes were closed. That is one... happy relaxed horse. She opened them slowly. "Thank you! For that my sweet girl... you are amazing!" Then Raven came galloping out of the run in shed and demanded that I too tell her how amazing she was for staying put in her "stall"... The breeze had picked up... I stood there with my two favorite girls... Both demanding my love, and me absorbing every moment with both of them.
I am a horse trainer.... I know that I have a special gift for animal behavior. I took a pony that is as stubborn as a mule and made her into a a wannabe show pony. I took a scared, abused off the track race horse and made her into an event prospect. I did this in under two months.... and all it took was lots of ground time with them. I spent lots of time hanging out with them as if I was one of them. I spend a half hour every night grooming them, massaging them, scratching their itchy spots, and treating them as if I were another horse...I just look different.
I don't think enough people take the time it takes to gain the trust of their horses. They are too busy breaking them.... throwing devices on them to make them do things that are un natural to them. They work them too hard too fast. They do things the same way for too long.
I do it differently. I become one of them, I gain their trust, I become their mothers.... I treat them with respect, and I love and care for them as if they are my own kids. I feed them well, I give them fresh clean water, I make sure they are comfortable. That's all horses want... They want to be free, they want to be horses, they will take your love and turn it to gold. They are quick to forgive, but will remember the day you harm them.
Like I said, it can't be a fluke that I just won over two horses... I must be doing something right.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Fathers Day
I don't even know my own husbands cell phone number.... but I do know this number. (215) 581-4523.
I called this number almost every night as a child. "Aaron Speaking" "Hi Dad! When are you coming home?" "Hey Munckles, I'm leaving right now!" Sometimes on cue he would know it would be me calling and would answer "Hey Sweetie!" and then would come home embarrassed that he had answered the phone to a potential client . It wasn't his "munckles" on the phone that would call promptly at 8pm.
That was a very long time ago....and this is a very hard blog to write. It's not fathers day, it's June 11th and it's 12:03 in the morning. I can't sleep this week. I have been consumed with other thoughts. To get my mind to sleep I try to think of my dad, and all my early childhood memories of him. I usually end up crying myself to sleep, which is often the case when I think of my past childhood and how it went to hell. Whenever I plan on writing a blog about a person or a memory I spend about a week before hand thinking about what I want to say and then visualize the story line. This story line keeps plunging off a cliff, and it is taking a lot of self control to focus on "dad... well spent time"
Like I said, this is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever written.... perhaps because it is a bitter sweet story... of a man that may have made me into what I am today.... a strong minded, un-trusting woman, that is waiting for people that she loves to leave her for someone else. That's what men do... they lie and cheat. Animals though... they need me, they love me, and they don't ever hurt me. Which is why I will never be alone again.
When I do my memory game I go back as far as I can remember. I try to conjure things that are not in photographs but... are raw. That phone number for instance, just came to me. The last time I dialed it was around 1989... I still remember my dads work phone number.
The next thing that comes to mind is dinner. Every night my mother had dinner on the table. My dad sat at the head of the table and then what followed was food that I disliked, my brothers sitting on the other side of the table looking disinterested, depressed or preoccupied, my mother laughing and my dad at the head of the table... telling a story in a terrible cockney accent while sucking the marrow out of a pork chop bone. Disgusting.
Next memory. Me, scratching dandruff off his head while he told the story, and telling him that it wasn't dandruff, they were knits. Don't ask.... I was a weird child that had/has a terrible picking problem even to this day.
Next Memory, weekends..... Saturday 11am. Riding Lesson. My mom slept on the left side of the bed, my dad on the right, and I would join them in the mornings plopped in the middle. Around 10 am he would get up, take a shower and then come out, sit on the side of the bed and tie his shoes... I can still feel the bed moving as he tied his shoes. I can even still smell the soap that he used....yellow bar of soap.. Dial maybe? And the smell of his aftershave... white bottle with a ship on it.... ummm... cant remember the name I want to say Old Bay, or Bay Rum?. I can still feel the frustration from both myself and my mother as we walked out the door. Late. My dad was always late... it is a terrible trait. He made up for it though. Every Sunday morning he made breakfast in bed for my mom and I while we watched Good Morning America with that fat bald headed man. Dry eggs on toast, with bacon and ketchup with coffee and orange juice and toast with marmelade. He was good to us, which made it hard when he left, we had no idea that he was so unhappy.
So very hard this is.... seeing as it will be fathers day... and I want to concentrate. CONCENTRATE.... liz.... on the nice things... He tried. To be.... a great dad. He sucked as a husband to my mom. They are two very different things. He was kind to me, and I missed him, which is why... this sucks so bad. I needed my dad, but after all these years I have convinced myself that maybe the best thing he could have done was to leave because I might have been too spoiled... too rotten to deserve the love that he could have given me.
Next memory. Spoiled Rotten. He would pull up in the driveway after work and almost always had a present for me. I remember one time my mom yelled at me because he came empty handed and I ran to him, threw my arms around him and said "wheres my present?!" like a brat. Still to this day every time he comes over to my house he brings me something... Mother Earth Magazine, a Chicken Magazine, Something that may interest me. One time he even came with fresh ground coffee, a french press, half and half, whip cream, and a few magazines, and then made me coffee.... that was amazing. "Presents don't buy you love" is a one liner my mother always says... which is true, because now I'm just so happy to him, and I almost feel guilty when he brings me something as if... I have to give him something back, but I know it's just his way. He's very thoughtful.
He helped the hubster build a roof to the chicken coop. He showed up on time and brought a few things with him to help out the project. On his way to our house he pulled over and cut down a 15' large beam of bamboo... and stuck it in his mini sports car sedan, with the bamboo coming out the sunroof. I don't think my dad knows how to feel embarrassed, he wears his heart on his sleeve, and he is a great a little helper.
Next memory, fishing.... in the Adirondacks. One time he tried to teach me fly fishing, I think I snagged him a few times with my whip it motion, and that was the end of that lesson. He does a grunt noise when he gets frustrated. I heard that sound when I flung the line into the bush behind me. Classic. After that I got a regular rod with a regular real which caught regular fish, that my dog Travis would try to eat out of the "caught fish bucket" My dad loves fishing. He even had a book called "the Joys of Trout" to which I make fun-of, but if you mention this book, he will say "That is a great book!, have you read it? I would love to have that back and read it again"
My brothers have a strange relationship with my dad. They are much older then me, ten and twelve years older, so my memories of them are blurry. I was trying to remember a time where all three of us kids were interacting with dad. The last time we were together as a whole family unit was around 1990 and a strange man we knew was going off to the Gulf War. My oldest brother, my mom, dad, Travis our westie, and I piled into the ugliest looking mini van ever made and drove to Camp Lajoon to say our goodbyes. It was Christmas. My dad had the camcorder because it was the 90's and was taking footage of my brothers and I running up and down the beach with Travis. My dad was itching to get a part of the raw spirit of things and handed the camera to my mother who filmed my dad as he sashayed and skipped down the beach with a huge smile on his face. It was strange to see the youth in my dads face, the spirit in him was strong even though he was conflicted at the time. He really loved his kids, and it showed.
On the way back to the hotel the strange man was driving, and my dad was itching to use the bathroom. He insisted that we pull over on the side of the road so he could relieve himself. The whole family is in the ugly van mind you.... and he jumps out and starts to urinate on the wheel of the van. My mom rolls her eyes, and sighs..."Oh what is he doing it there for?!" And with that the strange man starts to pull away ever so slowly. Hysterical bouts of laughter pour out of my brothers,my mother and myself. My dad gives a look of "Are you mental?" and moves over to continue his urination on the tire, to which the strange man once again pulls forward ever so slowly. Again, large fits of laughter from the peanut gallery inside the van. With that, my dad finally gets the point and trudges off into the woods to finish what he started. My dad drinks a gallon of coffee a day, and will often need to use the potty. He does this hand twitch thing when he needs to do it, his fingers spread and flick, and I always know it's time for him to "go".
Last memory is of the strange man, dad and I up in the Adirondacks at Chapel Pond. My dad drove us to the pond, put on his snorkel and took off looking for fish and sludge. The strange man was left looking after me. He often was left with me.... and decided that we were going to go find dad after about a half hour of playing in the sand. After about 30 minutes of swimming (I was wearing a life preserver) the strange man found our dad snorkeling.... The strange man looked at me, and told me to be very quiet... we were going to say "hello" to dear old pappy. The strange man swam ever so slowly up to our dad and tapped him ever so gently on the shoulder. Dad shot out of the water, snorkel and all screaming through the pipe. And with that we went home. Dad was not amused. He was really pissed off, but the strange man had a glint in his eye... of satisfaction. He looked back at me and gave me a huge smile and a high five. We had found DADDY!
My dad is a strange fellow.... I don't know any person like him.
He grew up in Princeton, New Jersey. He has one liners that will sometimes perk my interest like, "I used to watch Albert Einstein walk down my street" and then he will change the subject and start talking about Quantum Physics to which my ears die off and I start to feel really dumb again.
I'm the dumb one in the family you see.... I can't hold a candle to my intellectual family. Put them in a room together and you will be overwhelmed with old classics, new age technology, and deep conversation about old movies. I recently just got yelled at by my mother for playing a game on my cell phone while there was some "deep discussion going on" about neurons at our last family pow wow.
Big whoop. I want to know good stories. It's hard to get the good stuff out of my dad. He is so wrapped up in his "fantasy world" as I like to call it. He calls me almost everyday from his car to tell me about the mulch pit that his dog loves, or the bones of a deer carcass that he is photographing every week. It doesn't take much to tickle his curiosity.
He has an eye for art, color, and photography. He is naturally gifted to see things; you wont. He walks around aimless to the normal person. Forget it, he won't notice if you shaved your head, and tattooed your face that day, but he will notice a painting on your wall, or a funny way your cat is walking. He has an eye for small detail. He has an eye for beauty of ugly things. He can find the grace in a person in a wheel chair. He can find laughter in a mute. He can find symmetry in two people walking. He can find joy in the dead. He captures things with his camera that are magic. Yet he won't remember your name or your birthday.
He fancies himself a writer too.... but I'm not one to judge on that topic.
His eye always impressed me the most, and his way of editing things. He is my biggest fan for this blog. He gives out great suggestions, and is a great mentor when it comes to focusing me on what needs to be written about or what to draw. I really wish I had his guidance earlier on in my life.... sometimes I feel like if I had him around I might have succeeded doing something real in life, instead of just my hobbies.
My dad is retired now. He was a producer at Channel 6. I feel like this is a small part of his life even though it consumed most of it. You can not.... have a conversation with him.... without him saying, "I did a story on that guy, or I knew a person, or you should call this person...." He has done a story on everything, everyone, and anywhere you can talk about. It's really annoying. And then you get the "I interviewed Bam Margera, or the Rolling Stones, and it was the worst interview ever" and then he won't really say anything about them.... and I'm all ears.... typical dad. Yet, that woman that studied the art of grass growing was a really interesting lady, and I should give her a call!
My dad also loves to do things. He once said to me about his mother that he didn't understand her as a child because she didn't work. He likes his women to work... and so his wishes came true.
Until he retired.... and got a puppy great dane, I think his views of house keeping have changed since then. He has finally come to realize that taking care of a house during the day is no easy task. He drives his teenage daughters to school for the last time as of today. They just graduated. Congrats Alex and Zoe! He cooks dinner for them and his companion Esther, my step mom. He supports his girls with love and constant cheers of their success. You would think they were perfect the way he brags about them. He is so proud of everyone, and yet rarely does he ever get a pat on the back. He is busy writing a documentary educational series of the Holocaust which has been interesting to watch... he is a total procrastinator! He is the backbone to his family and they are really lucky to have him around.
My dad is amazing.... while raising teenage twin girls and a great dane he will dabble in one or two of his many hobbies.
The HOBBIES
1. Scuba Diving (not so much anymore)
2. Parachuting (Broke his knee doing it)
3. Fly Fishing (Talks more about it, then actually does it)
4. Ham Radio (We once had a 50' ham radio tower in our backyard, his call sign is KD3DJ, how many kids can say that about their dad?)
5. Microscopy (He has a lab and can take digital pictures of his findings)
6. Computers (He has to have three going at the same time with large monitors and all that other crap)
7. Air Rifles, Shooting (He likes to play with fake guns)
8. Swimming (He can swim for hours, yet can't run a mile)
9. Biking (He crashed into some kids and fractured his clavicle which has left him looking all hunched)
10. Kayaking (he likes the blow up sea kayaks. They look stupid, but he loves them!)
11. Baking (He went through a bread making phase, where he spent a month straight making bread)
12. Gourmet Cooking (He needs a recipe or else he can't do it, but it always tastes great and is takes hours and hours to make)
13. Photography (this is the only constant he has going, he always has a camera and prints large digital prints and frames them himself)
14. Wood Crafts (He has a wood shop in his basement... including a lathe... he made a jigsaw puzzle once in that room)
15. Balsam Wood Air crafting (He keeps talking about this.... it's weird)
16. Guitar Playing (He owns about 10 Martin Guitars, that he hangs on his walls like art)
17. Reading (He is a book hoarder)
18. Reading, Writing, Editing (He is always dabbling in this)
19. Walking Great Danes (his dog is his world. She looks like a Thoroughbred, she is in amazing health)
The list goes on. You better hope that whatever store you own..... that has his hobby in it.... is close to his house... because he will keep you in business.
I have tried desperately to get him into building Stables, and loving horses. But he keeps changing the subject on that one and talking about race horses, which suck.
All of these years I have been trying to figure out why my dad is so strange. His mom and dad past away from tragic deaths when he was twenty two. He was raised around lots of aristocrats and was sent off to boarding school and was raised by people other then his parents. He has a brother and four sisters that he struggled most of his life to be close with. He is pretty much a big kid that never grew up... his life is like monopoly. Trust fund baby that has really good intentions and tries his best.He is such a nice guy with strange ideals and morals.
My dad and I were really close, then we weren't, then we were, and then we weren't, and now we are. He doesn't like negative stuff... he likes to turn himself off to it. Apparently he has a very dark side and depression, and alcoholism. I never really saw any of it in him.
He's really good at hanging out with my kids. He taught Watts how to throw stones into a bucket and then taught him how to use pliers to pick up pennies. He is really patient with him, and will do things over and over and over again for him.
Watts still talks about all the things that granddad has done with him. Its the simple things in life I need to focus on. I'm really thankful to have my dad today. It doesn't matter about yesterday. He's trying really hard to be here today and I'm really happy to have him around.
To sum this all up.... I was about six or seven in the Adirondacks. My dad had the camcorder and was trying to capture a rainbow that had just appeared over the mountains. It had just rained and you could see the steam coming up from the rocks.... It's dead silent, the crickets are echoing over the mountains. The birds had just started to sing after the storm. Then the sound of the hammock in the background plays into the camera. "What are you doing?" "I'm trying to film that rainbow over the mountains there" "Rainbow? like the song?" "Yes! like the song... can you sing it?" and with that the camera swings around and I am draped on my hammock... I started to swing back and forth singing ever so softly "Somewhere over the rainbow" and my dad captured that moment.
That's what he does....He can see the beautiful in the ignored.
I really love my dad.
My day feels wrong if I haven't heard from him.
Watts with his grand-dad throwing rocks into a bucket. Happy Fathers Day... |
Monday, June 10, 2013
Baked Kale Chips the Liz way.
A picture of Kale chips I found on the web. |
I hate Kale... it's the new pomegranate though... so I have to eat it.
(Even though I personally feel that it smells and taste like a bad fart).
My friend Story came over the other day and I was showing off my vegetable garden and said "And this is my Kale, which sucks" She mentioned that she makes Kale Chips with olive oil and salt and bakes them. People love it she said.... and I bet they did because they weren't eating my version of it.
So I gave it a try. Story didn't give me any direction as to how or what to do.
I picked some of my fresh Kale poop out of the garden. I ripped it up into potato chip size and then washed it, stuck it in a bowl drenched it in olive oil and then smothered it in salt.
Mistakes 1,2, 3 and 4 were.....
1. When you cut it up, don't include the spines. Yuck.
2. I didn't dry my Kale after washing it, and don't drench in olive oil. It doesn't dry out properly
3. Don't smather with salt. Its overkill. you want a very tiny pinch of salt.
4. It tasted like salty popcorn with a side of fart.
Much better then the original version, but I'm going to have to keep working on the recipe. (It also gave me some dog breath afterwards.... like I had licked the urine off my tinkle (just in case you didn't know why dogs breath smells bad).
I think for the next batch I will spray with Olive Oil, sprinkle with salt,, AND garlic powder and maybe some Crushed Red Pepper for my spice loving hubster.
..... AND then I might even do a tap of Parmesan cheese. And for all the fatty's out there you could dip it in fat free ranch dressing.... (To undo all the health benefits of eating fart chips).
Or maybe I would try to sprinkle it with cinnamon and some honey... to make dessert chips. With a side of Tofu Ice cream...
or for all you fatty's out there you could just dip it in pure chocolate sauce and then use it to scoop some ice cream, even though it is totally not strong enough to hold ice cream.... but I'm sure you will figure it out. I think that's why they invented spoons. Your welcome for the idea.
Sorry, I'm jonesing me some sweet stuff after eating the chips... hold on while I go get a breath mint, my breath is kicking!
Woof.
And this is why I wasn't a good sales person.
I dare you to try it.
(reverse psychology)
Or maybe I'm a genius at selling people on something.
Anyway here is the real recipe:
Directions
- Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a non insulated cookie sheet with parchment paper.
- With a knife or kitchen shears carefully remove the leaves from the thick stems and tear into bite size pieces. Wash and thoroughly dry kale with a salad spinner. Drizzle kale with olive oil and sprinkle with seasoning salt.
- Bake until the edges brown but are not burnt, 10 to 15 minutes.
Thanks Story for the great idea....
This is a picture of my Kale, best not to include the spines. |
Update: I put the salty chips into a bowl and offered some to my two year old. I was expecting him to spit them out. He snatched the entire bowl out of my hands went and sat down in front of the TV and is happily eating them all. He's going to be soooo thirsty. He loves them though. So maybe it's just me.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Poison Ivy
Poison Ivy from Batman... if only this is what it looked like in the field, I would have no problem finding her. |
Poison Ivy the plant... looks like every single plant growing in my yard. |
I just came into contact with some Poison Ivy. I can't find it anywhere. Thankfully the hubster didn't come into contact with it, he has a tendency to turn into a giant swollen blister it's disgusting.
I on the other hand don't get blisters. I get something that looks like a heat rash, and a raised tuft of skin with small bumps that weep.
So, how does one get Poison Ivy even though they can't find it anywhere in the garden? I thought at first it was Ron my cat... who came running in from outside and gave me a nice cuddle. I have it all over the inside of my arms which almost outlines the cat that I was cradling.
However, now I have it on the tip of my nose on my cheeks, on my stomach, on my legs, and a few patches on my shoulder blades.
Ron didn't touch most of these places.... and I was exposed to more areas after I gave him a bath. Who could be the culprit?? Nobody else seems to have poison Ivy... just me.... and then I started to realize...
I was out in the field last night grooming the horses. First Giselle, and then Raven came up and was rubbing her muzzle all over my neck and my back, especially the shoulder area, and then when I went to ride Ellie bare back I felt my shirt lift up and my belly touched her coat.... exactly where the poison ivy is.
And who do I make facial contact with? Raven. Raven gets so many kisses.... which would explain why my lips are swollen.
Do horses get poison Ivy? Raven has strange looking marks all over her muzzle. So....
Yes. They are up to their arm pits in it... out in the field. Now I have it, and I'm in hell. My face is so itchy. I wash my face with dishwasher detergent every half hour and then cover myself in calamine lotion. My skin is taking a beating.
Please be careful of your pets fur this summer! I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with my animals this summer without constantly coming into contact with the Ivy. I suppose I could go and find it....but first I would have to identify it, and that seems to be impossible.... I suck at plant identification almost as much as speaking another language.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Horses on the homestead.
My "pie" in the sky. |
When I was a kid I dreamt of one day having horses of my own in my backyard. I had this visual of myself baking pies and placing the pies on the window sill to cool, and not more then 5' from the window would be my horse who would try to eat the pie.
This makes me realize that at some point in my life I was a well adjusted happy kid.... until my dad left us. But thats another great story for another time.
When the hubster and I were looking for a house to buy, I had only one requirement. It had to have at least two acres to have horses or goats. The hubster set out on a mission and found a few homes that we could afford. One house had a barn already, but the interior was dark, moldy, and the corral was really way too small to even have horses. The other house we went to look at had a barn too, but again not really enough land for the horses, and the house was very boring inside.
I remember the day that we came to look at the house we are in now. We drove down a small busy street... and turned into a crappy small driveway. I disliked it from the minute I saw the place. The house was really ugly on the outside, and there was not enough land. The front yard sucked shit.... we walked into the house. It was old...really old, and charming. I had already said no in my head to the house. We got to the kitchen. It was amazing. It was a little farm kitchen, with large french doors that looked out onto almost two acres. I immediately saw my animals in this yard! I loved it. The rest of the house sucked. BUT this... I could do.
There was a giant field next door. "Whats that? piece of heaven over there?" "Not sure", came a reply from our dope of a realtor. I walked out the house and checked out the field. It was fenced in and said it was a "public equestrian property"
We went home, and I couldn't get the house out of my head. I hated the design of it... it was like a fun house with topsy turvy floors, and rooms attached to rooms, with windows that were too small, and doorways that could barely fit a person through....but still... I had a vision.
The hubster called the township about the field next door. Turns out that anyone can use the land, it was owned by Dr. Brown and when he died the township got it as a green acre preserved land deal.
I was going to put my animals in that field one day.... and so we bought the house.
We have lived here for almost a year, and finally my dream came true. Raven can't be used in lessons yet because she's still too green for a ton of different riders. Giselle became my personal horse to ride, and Ellie is lame. All three of these girls are best friends.
Ginger needed the space, and so it happened. I went out and got electric fence, and the following day I had three horses living in my back yard.
It has been almost a week. I still need to make a riding ring, and I would like to build some stalls. It is currently raining hard, and only two horses fit in the run-in shed. I'm sure there is enough room for all three, but for some reason poor Giselle seems to be the lowest on the pecking order. She just sits in the rain with her head in the shed.... looking all.... pathetic. I hate it.
It's not quite the pie vision I had.
My vision also had a beautiful barn with brick floors, and a white sand riding arena, and large rolling hills of cross country jumps. I was also beautiful, and good enough to go to the olympics, and maybe about 21 in my day dreams.
But, beggers can't be choosers! I will take a free field with three beautiful healthy horses next to my house. You have to start somewhere, and I'm sure this is certainly just the start to my rolling hills and exsquisit barn with a 3 horse trailer hitched to an F350 which is parked next to Jeep Grand Cherokee Altitude, and BMW M3, and dirt bike....
The sickest part about all of this is.... I will end up with all of this in the next five years, because I set my bar just right.... and I am focused on the pie! The pie will be MINE!
Now I'm off to make an awesome dinner, and clean the house and be the perfect wife... because I will never be able to afford any of this.... but the hubster can... and I must make sure I am perfect in every way for him!!! He is the best hubster in all the world!!!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
GREEN JUICE AND GRANOLA RECIPES
It's a pain in the butt to look for my past posts for recipes. People have been interested in my magic elixir of life.
After many months of doing it I have come up with a recipe that tastes like apple sauce.
(2) Oranges or any citrus fruit peeled (keeps it fresh for longer)
(2-3) Large Carrots peeled and cut
(3-4) large fist fulls of fresh spinach leaves or one fist full of frozen spinach
(2) leaves of Kale
(2) Broccoli Florets
(1-2) cups of water
sprinkle the entire top of your blender with cinnamon. It masks the taste of the kale and broccoli which to me smell like farts.
Great other options to add in:
*Frozen Pineapple
*Strawberries
*Banana
Green Peppers
Red Cabbage
Blend for two minutes.
Depending on the consistency that you like:
add more water. Stir it before drinking.
*= amazingly yummy in your tummy!
(2-4) cups Old Fashioned Oats
(1-2) Fist fulls of Chopped Walnuts
(1-2) Fist Fulls of Chopped Pecans
(1) Fist full of Pumpkin Seeds
(1/2 cup) of Shredded Coconut
(1/4 cup) flax seeds ground
Put this all in a large bowl and stir it together
Sprinkle and coat evenly the top with cinnamon.
Squeeze enough Honey of your liking to cover the top of the cinnamon.
Sprinkle about four pinches of brown sugar.
Add a cap full of Vanilla Extract
Mix together.
Make sure that every piece of Oatmeal has been touched by honey, or cinnamon.
Spread it out on a baking sheet evenly
Put on the top rack of your oven at 250 for ten minutes.
Any longer and it will burn the nuts and smell like you set a cat on fire.
Take it out mix it about
put back in for another 10 minutes.
Done.
Add a ton of raisins or cranberries, or plum raisins.
Stick in some recycled jars from spaghetti sauce or something like that....
Eat it plain as a snack,
Add milk to it and make it a cereal
or Add Yogurt to it... with some strawberry preserves.
Enjoy!
After many months of doing it I have come up with a recipe that tastes like apple sauce.
GREEN JUICE: (in my blender)
for juicers you will have to peel all fruits and veggies, and cut smaller, and not add water.
(2) Green Apples with Skin cut up into manageable chunks for your juicer or blender(2) Oranges or any citrus fruit peeled (keeps it fresh for longer)
(2-3) Large Carrots peeled and cut
(3-4) large fist fulls of fresh spinach leaves or one fist full of frozen spinach
(2) leaves of Kale
(2) Broccoli Florets
(1-2) cups of water
sprinkle the entire top of your blender with cinnamon. It masks the taste of the kale and broccoli which to me smell like farts.
Great other options to add in:
*Frozen Pineapple
*Strawberries
*Banana
Green Peppers
Red Cabbage
Blend for two minutes.
Depending on the consistency that you like:
add more water. Stir it before drinking.
*= amazingly yummy in your tummy!
HOMEMADE GRANOLA
Basically you add Nuts and Seeds to Old Fashioned Oats along with a few healthy sweet things. Toast it, and add some dried fruit. Done. Here is what I normally do... but it varies on what I have sitting around.
(2-4) cups Old Fashioned Oats
(1-2) Fist fulls of Chopped Walnuts
(1-2) Fist Fulls of Chopped Pecans
(1) Fist full of Pumpkin Seeds
(1/2 cup) of Shredded Coconut
(1/4 cup) flax seeds ground
Put this all in a large bowl and stir it together
Sprinkle and coat evenly the top with cinnamon.
Squeeze enough Honey of your liking to cover the top of the cinnamon.
Sprinkle about four pinches of brown sugar.
Add a cap full of Vanilla Extract
Mix together.
Make sure that every piece of Oatmeal has been touched by honey, or cinnamon.
Spread it out on a baking sheet evenly
Put on the top rack of your oven at 250 for ten minutes.
Any longer and it will burn the nuts and smell like you set a cat on fire.
Take it out mix it about
put back in for another 10 minutes.
Done.
Add a ton of raisins or cranberries, or plum raisins.
Stick in some recycled jars from spaghetti sauce or something like that....
Eat it plain as a snack,
Add milk to it and make it a cereal
or Add Yogurt to it... with some strawberry preserves.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Weight Loss Update
We have all been there, and I love me some meat, but it has to stop! |
There is so much activity going on in my little world on the homestead. My dreams have come true... on Monday, Ginger helped me move three of her horses onto the field next to my house. Giselle, Raven and Ellie are very busy eating grass not more then 15' from me at this very moment.
I will talk about all that later though. I was looking through some old posts, and realized that at a certain point I started to juice to eat well. I wrote about how I doubted myself in keeping to the "diet".
Well, I just wanted to brag that YES, I still do green juice at least three times a week, and I still make my homemade granola and eat it for breakfast with my yogurt, and I still eat three small meals a day.
However, I did break a few times with some old habits. When the warm weather hit us I instantly wanted a cold beer. Seeing as I have spent two summers pregnant I missed the freedom of letting loose and that tingly feeling of relaxation.... with a beer.
I demanded that the hubster go out and get me some.... and then old habits came knocking at my door, and soon I was drinking three beers a night. Not bad but not good either, seeing as I used to polish off a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio a night. On top of the beer drinking... I added another dirty habit. Eating a ton of meat.
With summer, comes grilling. We bought a grill and I was out grilling our dinner every night. Cheeseburgers, Chicken, Grilled Veggies, Pork Chops, and Hot dogs. Everyday of the week. I was in heaven... till I started to feel like total shit.
It started a week ago... I was cranky, emotional, and my stomach hurt. I also had occasional small nagging headaches and was very tired all the time. It was too much to handle. I also noticed that I had a small black hair on my cheek. It always grows back when I pluck it... but I noticed that since I went Vegetarian it stopped growing. The minute I went back to meat, it grew back in a week. What does this tell you? I'm not lying. The only thing that changed was my diet.
I got on the scale and noticed that I had gained four pounds. That was enough to convince me that these small luxuries I had added were doing me no good. I missed my energy, and sanity.
I went back to being a vegetarian. This whole week I have avoided the meat, and have been juicing when I start to lose my energy. I got on the scale this morning and have lost 3 pounds in a week. I love my body. Not many woman can say that.... but my body is like a Honda. It takes a beating but if you treat it well it will run forever. Put a little octane booster in it, and it runs like a porshe.
Anyway, I know many women right now are battling their weight. They go on extreme diets, and cleanses. They fight with themselves over food. I believe the key to weight loss is to catch yourself before things get out of control. Be aware of what your body is telling you. I could have easily let my drinking get out of control along with my burger fetish, but because I am in tune with my body and listen to it, I made changes; and my body quickly responded to it.
This is the key to being healthy. Be mindful of what you are eating, thoughtful about how your feeling, and aware of the consequences of filling your mouth with glutenous items. Drink and eat only what the earth has made for you. Water, Fruits, Vegetables, Nuts and Grains. Try to avoid machine processed foods.
Also, Don't go on a diet. Just eat real food in small portions, not that crap from a bag or meal in a can.
Here is my meal plan for today:
Breakfast:
1 cup Green Juice
1 cup Homemade Granola
3 Tablespoons of Greek Vanilla Yogurt
1 cup of Coffee
1 Banana
Lunch:
Sandwich of some sort in a wrap with spinach, cheese, avocado, tomato,
or
Veggie Burger in a wrap with some mustard, pickle, spinach, cheese.
Quart of Water
1 cup of Green Juice
Snack:
Pecans
Apple
Small handful of Dried Cranberries
Walnuts
Dinner:
Salad with Olive oil Vinaigrette
Vegetable Lasagna Pasta: Wacky Vegetable Mac, Cut up Asparagus, Peppers, half cup of grated Mozzarella Cheese, Half cup of Tomato Sauce, and Dash of Bread Crumbs. All melted together into a gooey delicious mess.
1 cup Green Juice
Quart of Water
Dessert: Frozen Banana Puree, or 2- 5 Dark Chocolate Chip Morsels.
Anyway, as you can see, I'm not holding back from eating. I eat a ton, and it has taste.
I also have to think back to when I had a job and sat on my ass for the better part of the day in air conditioning while listening to soothing music. Now I sit down for maybe about an hour a day, and the other part is spent chasing kids, changing diapers, feeding chickens, gardening, cleaning, washing, vacuuming, trudging up and down the stairs to get stuff, riding, and teaching.
I'm very active.... doing useful things...
I don't lift weights, or run on a tread mill.... to me those things are silly and useless.
Although... one day I'm sure I will be running from zombies, so maybe I should be able to run a good mile at a full sprint while hurdling hedges and climbing walls....with two kids in tow. Nah... even then I would just stick my family on horseback and we could just gallop away to freedom.
I may be the most efficient person in the world.
And by the way. Not to brag, but this morning I weighed 113 pounds, and I am 5'5".
My goal is 110. Which is what I weighed 5 years ago when I met the hubster. When I became pregnant with Watts I weighed 116 lbs. When I was fully pregnant with Watts and James I was 155 lbs. I never had a weight problem to begin with... but getting back to 110 is proving to be a challenge and I kinda do it because I'm bored and like a challenge....
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Single for a day
"What's that noise?"
The sound of my own thoughts formulating a slow and concise rhythm in my head.
I just typed a whole sentence with out stopping.
I can hear the birds outside and the sound of the water flowing in my fish tank...along with the clock ticking away every second of joy this brings me.
I even just used the bathroom for a full 5 minutes WHILE looking at my phone and playing a game.... and there was no little person knocking on the door screaming at me.
I don't know what to do with myself. I have forgotten what it feels like to have time.... and quiet all to myself. It's an eerie feeling. I wonder if this is what it's like when you die? and go to heaven...
I'm having trouble slowing down because normally if I get a moment like this it will only last about 5 minutes, so I have to strategize my next move, make it count and think of thinks that are not baby friendly to do first.
Anyway, the whole family just left to go to Grannies house. I am here all by myself...for the next hour until I'm off to the barn to start work.
I have a horse show tomorrow to go to. Its just a local little show, but its' a big deal to me because I'm riding little Raven...(hopefully if we can get her on the trailer) who is still fresh out of the oven as far as training goes. We are leaving at 7:30 am tomorrow. I still need to get Raven cleaned up and sparkling, clean my tack, clean my boots, wash my show shirts, and ride 2-3 horses today and teach maybe two lessons.
It's going to be a busy day, one without children to come rushing home to.
I did actually shed a tear saying goodbye to them though. Give me a mom sticker please, I'm not a total monster.... and I do actually kinda miss them.
The sound of my own thoughts formulating a slow and concise rhythm in my head.
I just typed a whole sentence with out stopping.
I can hear the birds outside and the sound of the water flowing in my fish tank...along with the clock ticking away every second of joy this brings me.
I even just used the bathroom for a full 5 minutes WHILE looking at my phone and playing a game.... and there was no little person knocking on the door screaming at me.
I don't know what to do with myself. I have forgotten what it feels like to have time.... and quiet all to myself. It's an eerie feeling. I wonder if this is what it's like when you die? and go to heaven...
I'm having trouble slowing down because normally if I get a moment like this it will only last about 5 minutes, so I have to strategize my next move, make it count and think of thinks that are not baby friendly to do first.
Anyway, the whole family just left to go to Grannies house. I am here all by myself...for the next hour until I'm off to the barn to start work.
I have a horse show tomorrow to go to. Its just a local little show, but its' a big deal to me because I'm riding little Raven...(hopefully if we can get her on the trailer) who is still fresh out of the oven as far as training goes. We are leaving at 7:30 am tomorrow. I still need to get Raven cleaned up and sparkling, clean my tack, clean my boots, wash my show shirts, and ride 2-3 horses today and teach maybe two lessons.
It's going to be a busy day, one without children to come rushing home to.
I did actually shed a tear saying goodbye to them though. Give me a mom sticker please, I'm not a total monster.... and I do actually kinda miss them.
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