Pooper 2000

Daddy I left you a present! 

I talk about poop a lot. Not only does a good poop joke make me laugh but I find that I deal with a lot of different kinds of poop on a daily basis. It's a serious topic around this homestead.
Last night I dashed out the minute the hubster pulled into the driveway. I told him to leave the car running, that's how fast I was out the door. I had a lesson to teach, and I wanted to get to the barn on time.

After teaching half a lesson and riding for a half hour I came home feeling fresh as a daisy, rejuvenated and calm. I walked through the door to find a quite somber, sad looking man standing there listening to me blather on about how wonderful my life is. I finally get around to asking him how his night was with the boys.

"Watts pooped in the tub". Oh no.... when Watts pulls the poop in the tub act, it can really shake up the schedule. It's a challenge especially if you are by yourself. "Was it a log or was it loose?" "A small log" "Oh well that isn't so bad" "I'm just glad I wasn't in the tub with him"

These are the types of conversations I have at 8 pm. Watt's hears my voice and starts screaming "mommy mommy mommy, WATER!!!! I Waaaantttt WATER!!! mom, mom , mommy MOMMY!!!"

The hubsters face twists into pure exasperation... "Oh great he's up" He turns defeated towards the stairs to remedy the pooper 2000.

"No, stop.... I'll get him, you sit down and chill for a second"
I go up stairs... Watts is chatting up a storm. "What's that? What's that? " He wants to play the whats that game, where he points to things like blankets, and bottles, things he's knows... he is just filling the air with his voice. It's annoying to say the least. He has drank his milk, and now he wants water... only the hubster has already been down this road already... there sits a half bottle of water. Argh. "Go to bed, goodnight! " "NOOOOOO!!!!"

I close the door and wait for screams. Nothing?. Hmmm Well that was easy.
BANG. Sound of the bottle smashing door. Yup that sounds about right.

Two year olds....

The Pooper2000  finally goes to sleep. I find a shell of a man trying to watch TV... I listen to the rest of his night. "You left the baby Tylenol next to bed" "Oh shit!" "Yup- he found it and poured it all over your side of the bed" "Awesome, sorry... that sounds about right, I totally forgot"

"I tried to go for a walk with the boys, the minute I got outside, it started to rain, I brought them back inside, and the sun came out" "Yeah- that sucks....the weather was weird, during my ride"

It went on like this... for a good 5 minutes of how my 2 year old tormented my young strong husband.
He had the boys for 2 hours, and it ruined his day.

I felt bad for him.... It was a bad night.
It's called the terrible twos for a reason.
It ends at three right?
I look at my darling 7 month old... he coos, cuddles, smiles, has nice smelling poop (sounds weird, but it smells like buttermilk) and looks at me with absolute love.... one day he will be two, and I will look at him differently. He will be a drunk midget running around destroying my things. I look at the bright side. At least I can really appreciate my baby now, while he is soft, cuddly and lovely.

Thanks Pooper2000 for making me love my baby!