Sure they are cute... but.

Tonight I am going to be teaching a group lesson of about 6 girls ages 10-12. I am a little nervous... not to teach the lesson but to leave my boys at 4:15. My neighbor is going to come over and take care of them. I trust her and know she will do a great job but it's more the fact that my two boys turn into  terrible monsters around this time. I really hope they behave themselves.

I miss the days when I could just go to the barn and stay for as long as I wanted. I could talk, groom, ride and clean my tack after. Who knows, I could even stroll over to the bar with some friends and have a drink and talk horses. Those were the days.

Now a days,  I have a hot dinner ready and waiting for my husband. The kids are fed, changed, burped and ready for their bath. The house is as clean as I can make it while the trolls are up. I dash to the barn, rush around, clean, tack and get on the horse only to stomp around in a muddy, cold, dark ring.... untack my dirty saddle, hang up my dirty bridle, groom the horse and run back home.

It's a constant rush. I try to be gone no longer then two hours. The boys are normally bathed and put into bed... the hubster has cleaned up the remaining mess in the house and cleaned up the kitchen. I could stay at the barn longer I suppose... but I'm rushing home to see my husband who I barely said two words to before rushing out the house. He needs me, I know it, even though he says I smell like meat and cheese.

I don't know how working women do it. How do you find time to be with your husband and kids? I spend all day with my kids, and can't wait to leave the house for a moment. I feel horribly guilty that I am happy for a split second. I can't relax. I just miss the days when I could just grab my purse and go out the door to anywhere. Do you know what a luxury it is to drive in the car without something in the back seat either screaming or asking you the same question over and over again?? My life completely revolves around three other people... and I come in dead last.

They say kids grow up too fast. I can not wait for mine to go to pre-school!!! I appreciate how cute they are, and how they love me and need me now... but I refuse to forget how much of myself I give to them on a daily basis. They are worth it of course.. or are we supposed to say that? My kids are cute, but little monsters. I almost wish they were ugly so I could hate them a little. You can't hate my kids... though. You just can't. I'm not making this sound good.

 Currently, Watts is outside feeding bread to the chickens, he has eaten all the bread himself and is pushing his nose up against the window and asking for more. He also has just taken the diaper bags that are sitting outside and thrown them in the chicken coop, hoping they hit one of the chicks, he laughs maniacally. He is now throwing rocks at Ron the cat, laughing so hard that he has fallen over in some mud. He got bored of that and is now chasing the chickens around with a lacrosse stick. Meanwhile, Jbone is crawling around eating the cat who was trying to get away earlier from Watts. His mouth is full of cat hair, he doesn't give a shit.  Ron knows what I'm talking about, he spends just as much time trying to "relax".  I rest my case.
There is a lot going on. And you! You get to sit there and read this blog. I hate you... and your time.

Watts outside,  destroying things that are nice and happy. 

James sucking on Ron's fur coat. 

Jbone... mouth full of hair. What a ramrod.