My Dad and his bird brain.

My Dad loves chickens almost as much as I do, but he isnt allowed to have them. He talks wild stories about chickens, and knows a ton about them. Today he stated that he wished he could sit in his chair and watch his bird friends and chicks walk around while they thought of him as their father hen. So in leu of that I did this quick sketch. Did I mention that I was once an artist? My dad is my only fan. He's actually more like a manly cheerleader rooting for the handy cap team. We love him anyway.

Fresh Homemade Bread at 8 am.

FOOD PORN by Liz. 

I'm still recouping after one of the worst days ever. So to treat myself I have made some fresh bread and my usual morning fruit and veggie juice.

 Let me start by saying that bread is not that easy to make. I was very skeptical about doing it. All the homemade bread that I had tasted sucked. It was bland, chewy and meaty. (My brother went through a faze of making fancy health breads in his bread machine). AND it took too long, way too much effort for my lazy butt. My mom would come over and be like "why don't you bake your own bread you little tree hugger you?" And by the way she never said that, she's British and was more like, "why don't you have any bread? I'm hungry- I used to make bread all the time, it's easy -even you couldnt screw it up!" She didnt say that either, but that's what I heard.

I was trying to cut out bread and was using whole grain tortillas to make Watt's Peanut Butter and Jelly Sando's,  burritos , quesidias and tacos... I love you mr tortilla, such a wonder.

 But this didn't stand a chance with my English mother who eats pretty much a loaf of white bread a day. So I thought about it, and thought about it some more, and was like. "No it's a pain in the ass". But then my father started making fancy breads.

The deal with my dad is that he gets into "hobby mode" as I like to call it. He does everything from the book exactly as they tell him to do it, and the product is almost always perfect. like a week and $500 worth of supplies later... and then I get to sit back and listen to him blather on about how making bread is the new black.

So anyway, now my dad was making bread and telling me I gotta try it. Which made me really not want to do it, cause everything he does is a pain and takes too much effort and fancy gear. Until he brought over one of his loafs. It was still warm and looked as if he had stolen it from Panera. (a really nice Bread store). AND not only did he trick me into eating his bread but he also brought me a 15 page print out of how to make bread the easy way. So I took that 15 pages and cut it down to one page and did it my own way. The really easy way. Keep in mind, this bread is super bland and tastes like oatmeal. Its bland because you put tasty things on it like peanut butter or jelly or an egg. Let the food be the taste. Here is the recipe on the side of my King Arthur Bread Bag. If you don't want to read the directions, you can just skip to the pictures below. The directions are boring to read, even for me. 

Oatmeal Sandwich Bread:

3 cups of King Arthur Flour

1 cup old fashioned oats

2 Tablespoons of butter (I don't use butter)

1 1/2 teaspoons salt (I don't use salt)

3 Tablespoons of honey or brown sugar ( I use my local honey)

2 teaspoons  or 1 packet of active or instant yeast

1 1.4 cup luke warm milk ( I use 1 cup hot almond milk and 1 cup hot water) 

3/4 cup raisins ( I havent tried this yet)

As you can see I make it my own. I never like to follow the sheep off the cliff. I found with the first batch of bread that it was too dry and clumpy, I needed to add more water in order for it to be like dough,( like soft moist dough you see Pizza makers flipping around). 

Ok now get a big bowl and mix this together. I like to knead it with my hands so I can feel the consistency of it. May I suggest you take your rings off for this... what a mess. I knead it into a ball and then put it back into the bowl and let it rise for an hour. Then I knead it again, line the bowl with saran wrap and then put my dough ball in it and cover it for another hour. It can stay in the fridge for a few days, and will get more sour as it waits for you. 

30 minutes to a day later... I take it out of the fridge and knead it into a shape of my liking and then wait for it to rise one more time for a half hour. 

Then I put it in the oven at 425 for about 20-30 minutes. 

AND THIS IS SIMPLE? Sounds like a lot of work. It is. If your lazy don't bother. 

First off this is a bag of bread that I would normally eat. Please take a moment to look at all the ingredients in this bag. One of which is HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP. Too many ingredients for my liking. If you don't know what an ingredient is or if you cant pronounce it, don't eat it. 

This is my bread after being in the fridge for the night . The ingredients surround it. King Arthur Bread Flour, Mill Creek Apiary Honey (local guy that makes the best honey in the world) , Active Dry Yeast, and Old Fashioned Oats.  The recipe is on the King Arthur Bread Bag. 

Here is my bread hanging out with crap in the bag. This is for size comparison.  

This is what it looks like when I'm done making it into a shape of my liking.  

I dust it with some flour, and I personally like to give it a spritz of water to help it expand in the oven. Some people put a tray of water under the bread, but thats too much work for me. I'm not a chemist.

25 minutes later I have this space ship. As Forrest says, "you never know what your gonna get". This is not what I had in mind, but whatever. 

Which one do you want? Crap in the bag or hot fresh bread? Shut up- I know, the bag looks better. oh..well.. 

It tastes good though. Very yeasty when warm, but once it cools down it has a little bit of a sweet taste of oatmeal and honey.

It took longer to write this blog then it did to make the bread.... In the meantime.....
Just got a phone call from my dad saying that one of his kids (he has 5 including me) is eating a giant hole in his fabulous artisan bread. This is a crime and you will be punished. You're a bread muncher that hates crust and we all know what your doing. So in order to right a wrong I am publishing your crime on my blog for everyone to see what you have done to our dad's hard work.

There was even a note... hard to read yes, but she knew what she was doing.

She just grabs the middle part out like a mouse. 

and then plays with her technology devices without a care.  

Ironic isnt it.

I'm so sad right now.

I just posted about my favorite hen Wendy, how much I loved her, and the special bond we had together...

I was just taking out the compost when I noticed a hawk flutter out of the chicken run and look at me for a little too long. I thought... "that's weird, what was it eatin?" and then I look and see a lot of Wendy's feathers, and something coming out of the mud. I get in the pen and see two yellow feet and some blood. I pull her body out of the ground, and see that something has eaten her neck and chewed a large hole in the side of her body. She lay still with her eyes closed. She gave it a good fight... and now its over. I havent cried in a long time, but this broke the seal. Me and the girls sat around looking at the queen not knowing what to do. I dug a hole and had the brood say there goodbyes... they all walked up to her and gave her a small peck as if to say, "wake up stupid". What a crappy day. Will I ever find another chicken like Wendy? Who will take over her job? I guess we will find out. Bye Wendy, we loved you and will miss you here at Lizards Den.

You ate and killed my only friend.

Chicken Therapy

They say free range chickens are happier then chickens stuck in a warehouse pooping on their neighbor. Well here at old Lizards Den we believe in this 100%. Let me make it clear that I do believe that bird lovers are weird and can be placed in the same category as cat lovers. You know who you are, so just stop and except that you are weird to all people that don't have a bird or cat. I have both, but I'm normal. So normal in fact, that I invite my chickens in to eat breakfast with my children and I... and then we snuggle.

I had an old high school buddy come around to see our new house. The only thing he knows about country is it is a music genre, and apparently you are a hillbilly if you live in the country. He thought my house was "interesting" but drew the line when Wendy came over for her morning snuggle. He stayed inside and watched with his iphone taking pictures. I invited him outside to come and pet my chicken, but he politely said "no thanks".  Who says "no?!" how often do you get to pet a chicken that loves you? Not any chicken... you get to pet Wendy the most beautiful princess in all the land. 

Anyway, I go back inside and ask him if he wants lunch, and he looks at me horrified. "Aren't you going to go change your shirt? You are covered in bird flu" I promptly say, "oh did she poop on me?" that's a valid question... but no she did not, he merely thought that once you touch a bird you are infected with a  killer virus. What a dum dum. Anyway, to get him to stop making a stupid face I had to change my shirt. 

What I'm trying to say is... I think birds get a dirty rap... yes they have really gross poop... but so do you.  And yes, sometimes they like to step in their own poop... but please.. we have all done that.....and yeah they like to bathe in dust- which is genius because it kills mites and bugs. 

So my birds are awesome, and because I tell them this every morning they have come to love me as much as I love them, and this is the secret to being a Bird Whisperer. Also they love food... so if you want them do something, just hand them some corn based food, and they will sign your contract. With that said, enjoy my photos, and video. (Photos and Video by BevU Productions)

Yes I know this video may be a little strange, but once you get to know me and this blog it will seem very normal. My mom is hoping nobody will recognize me, little does she know I will be famous soon. Animal Planet here I come. Liz the Great... Chicken Whisperer. I like the sound of that!

Wendy getting her morning cuddle and pep talk about being my little princess.

Wendy actually comes in to clean up after my two year old. She eats all the cereal off the floor and then eats all the cat food that Ron (cat) has dropped for her. 

Martha is second in line to the thrown. She is still not too sure about coming in to help Martha clean. I don't push it with her, she doesn't get down with snuggles she just wants the food.

"Ok I will take that but don't you be touching me all up in my feathers".  Actually truth be told the real reason she wont come in is because Wendy is the head of the "pecking order", meaning that if Martha wants to come in, she will get a firm peck from Wendy, who tells her to wait her turn. 

Harvard School of Public Health » The Nutrition Source » Healthy Eating Plate and Healthy Eating Pyramid

Harvard School of Public Health » The Nutrition Source » Healthy Eating Plate and Healthy Eating Pyramid

 This is a great article about how the food pyramid that we grew up with has changed. My husband and I have been following this chart for the last month and have seen huge improvement in our energy, and weight. We go to Produce Junction once a week and stock up on lots of fruits and vegetables. I make a large salad every night and incorporate nuts and raisins. If you ask anyone that knows me well they will all tell you that my favorite food is pizza and Mcdonalds. Say Goodbye to the old Liz... my new favorite food is eggplant parm and roasted vegetables. YUM! I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and drank a half bottle of wine a night. I ate meat every night. I felt like crap, had depression and was taking Adderall to help me pay attention in school. Now I have two kids, eat three small meals a day with small healthy snacks in between. I start my morning cutting fruits and vegetables to make  green juice with a bowl of freshly made granola and Greek yogurt.  My skin is glowing, and my hair is shiny. I go outside and can smell the horse farm across the lake. I can taste my food. I don't use white sugar or salt and have deleted flavored drinks from my diet all together. I can walk past the cake isle in Shop Rite and I can walk right past the doughnut case in Wawa. (This was hard for me at first seeing as I was addicted to sugar). BUT NO LONGER am I a prisoner. My new food porn is colorful fresh food. Talk about a turn around. Question is, can I keep this up? We will soon see.

Time for change

I'm addicted to facebook. I want to start a blog that talks about more postive things in my life. As you can see from earlier posts I was a different person. Starting now I will post about things that I have learned to help those around me become more aware of the environment and health issues. I will also post about what my two year old is doing, because he makes me laugh at times and I like others to see the joy he brings me. I have about a half hour every morning to do this... so let's see how this goes.