Children's Book.

A few people have urged me to write a children's book. "You have all the stories in your blog, the book is there"

The thought makes me cringe. After several attempts to try new things, I have failed 99% of the time. I have learned not to invest money into my talents, and to climb the ladder one step at a time, very very slowly. Three steps is about as high as I have gone so far. I'm scared of heights, and success.

Ugh… this is useless… one of the boys has locked himself in his room. I can't even think STRAIGHT! How am I going to write a book if I can't even type this sentence!

Be right back….. kid needs rescuing from his room.

Thank you "Minions", Snacks  and Juice Cups… I can now get back to what I was saying. I even had time to switch over the laundry which included one wooden block, my husbands fishing license, and my mothers slipper. My brain might be in there too, but it's too small to find.

Anyway,
Children's books….
Another problem I have with writing a children's book is that there are MILLIONS of them… mostly ripped and colored on in my house. Every topic has been exhausted. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure people have stopped buying books. All the books we have were handed over from other grubby kids. I have never bought a book for my children.
That sounds terrible. I'm a horrible person.

Yet…. it didn't hurt me to look into the process. Which quickly became overwhelming, and daunting. Guess how much one book costs to print on average? $12-$25. On top of this, most authors invest a few grand into their books. With maybe a $500 payment back if they are good. So what is the point?

My kids have no interest in me, why should others? The whole idea is nonsense. It's a lot of work, and it costs way too much money. Plus the time, and effort to illustrate, and write, and edit, and… yuck.

Yet…. I suppose I could publish one on my blogger…. and then you…. the reader could let me know if it sucked. Who am I kidding. No one reads this blog.

Ok well that was my thought pattern. I'm done thinking about it. All the odds are entirely not in my favor.

Oh Mr Art, and Miss Creativity, how you kill me so. I wish I had been born with math skills, and an attention span to cure cancer instead of this nonsense and useless, money pit of a hobby.

"Oh…. I wish I could draw!"
That comment always pisses me off.

In my mind I scream…  "AND THATS WHY YOUR RICH!"

I'll stick to making greeting cards. It's easy, the cost is not exorbitant, and it is a great way to see if people like me… if they... really really like me, and my sick twisted humor.

And then maybe I will try taking a few steps up that ladder. But right now, I'm wearing a parachute… with holes in it.
Which coincidentally matches the holes in my pockets.

In the meantime, enjoy my mood with me… here is a quick sketch of a cartoon I did. My dad didn't like it…. (we can't always be happy daddy. We just can't).

This is a dead dear on the side of the road with a "Get Well" balloon tied to it's leg because the little girl thought it was just sick. How bout that for a children's story?  Bambie never woke up because it jumped in front of a car and that's why you should look both ways before crossing the road. It's a start, I can really feel the millions rolling in now. 

Cartooning

I was at Michaels the other day looking for some art supplies for my kids. As I browsed the art section, goosebumps sprung up on my arms… the smell of paper, crayons, and paints quickly gave me flashbacks to a younger me shopping for new paints for art school. I couldn't help myself. I bought a new notebook and some water color pencils. The cheapest I could find… thinking…that maybe I would do some quick doodles while the kids play.

My dad is always begging me to sketch out the stories I tell him on the phone at night. "Do me a favor and draw that…. it would make for a lovely illustration"

So I did… I drew something… and was done in 20 minutes. Pleased with the results I posted it to my Facebook page. The photograph came out much better then the drawing, popping the colors, and giving it a nice professional look. After that I was on a roll.

My dad would call and tell me to keep going. He was my ultimate cheerleader, telling me that what I had was such a talent, and that there is something that I did to those drawings that was unique. My dad was just being my dad…. everything I do is great. I know this.

Alas, it was fun, and it was keeping me sane. I decided to start a series of cartoons of animals doing people things. It was easy to come up with ideas with the help of my husband who finds animals doing people things hysterical.

I went a step further and asked my local tack shop if they would post my work on their Facebook page. They wrote back asking if they were for sale.

Soon I was there showing off my sketches, and made a deal to make some greeting cards to sell at the store. It's a start.

My work will be for sale at the Tollbooth Saddle Shop in about two weeks.
I have chosen a few sketches to be printed on greeting cards with funny sayings with the inside saying "Get Well" "Happy Birthday" "Congratulations" etc. Plus a few mugs…

I've invested about $40 so far… if my work sells… I think I will take it a step further and submit to magazines, and go to horse shows to open a booth. I could sell T-shirts, mugs, tote bags, you name it, I can have it made.

Here are a few items that will be printed up.
Enjoy.

Doc, I can't take it anymore. They put me in a coffin with wheels, put corn rows in my hair, made me dance in front of strangers. Don't even get me started on the chair they tie to my back. I look stupid. I quit. I just can't! 

Resume for Dog
 Objective: Looking for messy kids, willing to clean floors, counters, and tiny hands of all crumbs and scraps. 

"Snickers, I really enjoyed that stunt you pulled today where you stood in the middle of the ring and refused to go. Trainer was sure mad at you and yet you still got sugar cubes at the end of the lesson!" 

Accidents Happen. Get Well Soon! 

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

"Bubbles was tired of giving pony rides"
Happy Birthday! 

A true love story

Love… such a complicated emotion, it is a necessity in life to love something, or someone to truly be happy.

This story is true,  I will change only the names of the people I will be telling the story about.

In the late 50's an english nurse in her 20's by the name of Rose lived in England and  was called to the United States to work in a hospital. She packed her bags and sailed across the Atlantic on The Queen Elizabeth II to start her life in America. She left everything behind; her family, friends, and familiarity.

Once she had settled into her new home she was given an assignment to work as a private nurse for an ALS patient who was a mother of six. She got to know the family very well, and they welcomed her with open arms and pretty soon; she was part of the family.

She left on vacation to go back to England and while there, she drove all around Europe with her boyfriend Ken. She loved him, they had a wonderful time together, he was the kindest man she had ever met… but her life was in America.

She came home to chaos. The ALS patient had some complications while Rose was away and passed away two days later, leaving the husband and children of six in ruins.

Shortly after, more family members passed away, the husband of the ALS patient being one of them. For Rose and the family it was a nightmare. It was a month of mourning. The oldest son had taken a liking to Rose, and began courting her.  She ended her relationship with her boyfriend in England and married the oldest son with a deal that after one year, if it doesn't work out, Rose would leave and go back to England. True love, not really…the trauma of that family is what brought them together.

Twenty five years of marriage, with three children, through good time's and bad…. Rose found herself with a husband that lied and cheated on her. He left her for another woman. She was never the same. She was an innocent woman that had never been hurt or lied to by anyone ever. She was heart broken. The blow was catastrophic to Rose. She spent the next 18 years alone, hating herself, with a low self esteem and mild case of depression. Finding a new man to keep her company was the last thing she wanted. She was hurt, and scared to move on and trust someone new. Rose would sit outside at night by herself looking out at the night sky…

One night she received a phone call from her brother. Ken was there, on vacation, and wanted to speak to her. After an hour of speaking to Ken, she hung up the phone with a head full of questions. Ken's wife had just passed away of cancer six months ago. He was going to travel, and was looking for a traveling companion and asked Rose if she would like to join him. She immediately thought that she was too old to go and do things like that… her life was still in America raising her grand children and helping her daughter around the house. She thought that he would soon be after the younger women, after all that's what men do when they lose a wife…they wait, and find something newer and younger to play with. Her mind was tainted by what her ex husband had done to her.

Rose's daughter saw something different in her. A woman that still had life in her, and was wasting it on her back porch watching the night sky alone. Rose was like an abused horse afraid to be touched by a human hand again. So, with much persistence, the daughter slowly started to work her magic and guided her mother to find love once again.

First step was email exchange. Rose and Ken quickly got to their iPads and would write tiny notes to each other. The title of the email: Romance. Rose would check her email every morning and walk away with her coffee in hand, some color in her cheeks, and a school girl smile. The "romance" was working.

After a few weeks of emails Rose was getting nervous. "I'm too old for this!" she would say. Rose couldn't sleep, and the daughter would be persistent in urging her mother to just let it happen…and quickly gave her a makeover. The new hairdo, wardrobe, and manicure helped, with lots of pep talk and positive ways to look at the situation.

The daughter quickly reminded rose that she was wasting her life watching her raise the kids. The 30's are a slow time in life…how the daughter envied Rose for her new found freedom to get up and go anywhere in the world with not a care in the world. She had no bills to pay, no mortgage, no kids to feed, no animals to look after. There was nothing holding Rose back... except herself. Rose would nod, and agree but her eyes were still filled with worry, and skepticism. She was afraid of being hurt again.

Next step was to get Rose across the pond to see Ken. Both were excited but nervous to see each other again after 40 years. They both complained of looking much older, and feeling nervous. Days flew by and after a month of communication with Ken, the plane ticket was booked. The daughter dropped Rose off at the airport with a final word of "CALL ME!"

Once in England, Rose stayed at her sisters house. The daughter emailed her Aunt and Nieces to find out how her mom was doing. They all confirmed the same thing, she was magically happy, and had never seen her like this.  Everyday, Ken would come to the house to pick Rose up and take her for a spin around the country side, have some lunch, dinner and then would drop her off in the evenings. The two were enchanted with each other.

Finally, the daughter got the magic phone call from Rose. "I am so happy!, I love him!" Rose exclaimed. For the first time ever the daughter could hear a smile in her mothers voice. She sounded younger, with energy…and wanted to stay longer.

At the age of 75, Rose had found love, (although it was there the whole time). She had always loved Ken, and he had always loved Rose. They picked right up where they left off in the early 60's. Age didn't matter, looks didn't matter. They were together again driving through the country side together, laughing and loving once again.

True love will always stay in the heart. Time doesn't affect it, nor do appearances. It's all about heart and soul. It's unstoppable. Life is short. Follow your heart, (and listen to your daughters.)

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies" -Aristotle.

Sacrifice and Dreams.

Yesterday my family and I were sitting at the patio table outside eating dinner. Watt's my three old was done eating his dinner, had gotten up from the table and was standing in his tractor that he drives around. He pointed directly at my husband and said " I'm going to poop in your food!"

My husband turns bright red, almost chocking on his dinner and starts to cry with laughter. What a ridiculous thing to say to someone… After we were done wiping tears from our eyes, my son flips around and drives off in his tractor. Three year olds are strange little beings.

Meanwhile, my one year old still refuses to use English as his first language and when he does manage to muster a word out, he speaks as if he's deaf. I'm not too worried about it because somehow he conveys what he wants through grunts and a shake of the head. He is a loving little pig that destroys everything in his path, but is smart as a button and loves like an angel

So those are my kids… that I spend most of my day with, while also juggling a stay at home job as an Interior Designer and Business Developer for an Architecture Firm, and an animal care giver.

The animal care giving may be the hardest tasks for me to juggle at the moment. Finding two hours a day to sneak out to ride, or groom my horse may be one of the most selfish things I can do. I feel guilty for enjoying myself with my horse Raven… I could spend all day out there with her…. honestly, all day. I will always find myself just standing at the gate looking at her beauty watching her walk…. I want to sit in the field with her and watch her take a nap. I'm completely smitten by her.

Meanwhile, my two sons are with my mother destroying the house and driving her blinking insane.

Today the ultimate test came my way. A random email showed up….asking me… no offering me a training job to start a riding school. The email was from the owner… she has an eight stall barn, owns two horses, has a riding ring, a round pen… 16 acres…. and all she wants is for me to take it over and run a summer camp and a riding academy. I re-read the email about forty times, looked up to see where it was… an hour and a half one way…. of course. I forwarded the email to my husband. He wrote back. "Seems a little too far" that was it. Hopes and dreams done- can't take the job because it would take up too much time and money to drive back and forth while raising a family and taking care of my own animals.

I couldn't help myself…. I checked out other horse related jobs…. a ton of jobs all over the place…. offering dream after dream of hard work and dedication worth of valuable lessons and skill sets. All of them… too far away or would take up too much time away from the boys… one after the other was a dream come true…. only to hear in the background my reality… granny yelling at the boys "Stop it! I'm tired, owwww that hurts, stop hitting me, no biting, ugh where is your MOTHER?!"

And so I snapped shut my lap top…. rushed to get some juice and a banana while shoving my hopes and dreams under the bed in my brain.

I just have to think about poop in my food….. to make it all worth while.
"I will poop in your food!" Wattsy said while pointing at my husband.

That…. is worth my time in gold.
A true bout of hysterical laughter…
A great dinner with my family.
And happy kids.

My dreams can wait. Right now I'm sure I am living a dream that will only last a second.

Rabies in New Jersey

It all started about six months ago. A black creature was seen skittering across our backyard always lingering in the shadows at night. Slowly over time the black creature came closer and closer till finally it showed itself to us.

A very cute black kitten with fur that glistened in the moonlight. It had befriended our two other cats and would come to eat with them. After a month I decided it was time for the wild kitty to have a name. Tuxedo Cat it came to be, always dressed for the occasion with a bow tie and white shirt it would attend dinners and dine with it's feline friends. How I wanted to pet this kitty, it looked so soft, and fluffy... I would pine as I watched this very skittish kitty lick her friends, play in the moonlight, and dart the minute I stepped up to the plate. I would give that all back now just to see her play again.

The day finally came where I stood next to the table as my friendly kitty friends dined, and suddenly out of thin air there was Tuxedo two inches from my finger, I froze, lifted my finger and was able to touch her for a brief moment. Her eyes went wild, and she was gone.

Over the next few weeks of finger touches, she became less afraid of me, and came closer every day. Soon she was seen in the mornings, in the afternoon, and always at night, she came running to my song of "Tuxedo Cat, where are you? Come to me my little Tuxedo Cat" and out she would come from a bush or a tree to eat, but never to be touched. Watching her toss sticks into the air, and play with balls, and chase her tail was enough joy for me. I loved to watch this ball of life be a crazy little cat.

One day I thought I was seeing double. There on my outdoor patio table stood two Tuxedo Cats. Identical except for a tiny white patch difference around the mouth. Tuxedo had a twin sister. This must be who she hangs out with, and she has brought her to the party. I was thrilled to see the two of them bonding over a meal. The hubster on the other hand, sighed, and was like, "Oh great another cat to feed, when is this going to end?"

Winter came slowly, till it finally broke and the temperature went below zero. A storm hit and we were hit with a good amount of snow. I had all the cat houses outfitted, the horses blanketed, and heat lamps on, all my animals were bundled and protected from the storm. Two days went by, no Tuxedo cat… I started to worry. I called for her, went looking for her in her hiding spots, looked for paw prints. I couldn't find her.

It was around 8:30pm on a Saturday night when the hubster came in from outside yelling at me to come quick. I went outside and there was Tuxedo, yet she wasn't acting right. She was meowing non stop, loud meows… not her normal kitten mew. She also was around our feet, never leaving us alone. She would grab onto our legs, while yelling frantically at us. We didn't know what to do. "She's nuts! She's acting totally nuts!, what's wrong with her?" is all the hubster and I could muster to say. I finally just scooped her up, and held her in my lap. She quieted down, and would stay still while I stroked her silky fluffy fur. She started to purr. I was in heaven, finally I get to touch this cat, and she is enjoying my company. I finally had to put her down, I was freezing and she went walking away, meowing loudly, acting strange. I went to bed.

In the morning there she was… meowing… still. I got a call from the hubster saying that she had molested his legs as he went to work that morning. She tried to jump in the car with him, and then ran under the car and wouldn't come out… while meowing all the while. I watched her all day…

By Sunday night I was worried… Ron (our friendly cat/dog) was feeling under the weather, he had just had his tail bitten by an animal and had been in the house the past few days. I thought maybe she missed him. I took him outside to see her. He did something very strange.
He hissed
He growled
He swatted at her
His fur stood up on edge, and then he darted back into the house.

And then… she followed him into the house.
She was now in our kitchen. Yet… she stopped meowing, and desperately wanted to be with him.
We blocked him in the kitchen… both the hubster and I sat in the kitchen watching the two interact. Ron growled, and tried desperately to leave the kitchen. Tuxedo ran up to him with wide eyes pleading for his help. He hissed at her, and walked away… she turned her back to him… yet… she stopped meowing.
The hubster and I had a sit down with Ron… "What is wrong with you?" "Why don't you like her anymore?" "Was she the one that bit you?"

Ron looked at us… with pleading eyes… feeling ashamed, but staring at us intently.

"It's not me" "It's her" He was saying to us.

When she was in the kitchen, I noticed she was walking funny. 

Perhaps she has broken something.

In the morning I decided to take her to the vet.
She was examined on Tuesday morning, and they found no broken bones or problems. Her back leg would buckle out, and she was walking like a duck. Her temperature was low and the vet advised me to bring her into the house and keep her warm. 

The vet casually mentioned that if she dies within the week, it could be Rabies… But he mentioned this very quickly and casually, seeing as it wasn't the top on his list for things wrong with her.

I brought her home and made her a warm nest in the corner of my kitchen.
For the next two days, she didn't eat, pee or poop. She barely moved unless to go and lay in her liter box. She preferred to sleep there. She quickly went paralyzed in her back legs. I was certain it was neurological, and as her symptoms started to come forth, I started to Google like mad.

All signs pointed to Rabies.
The hairs stood up on the back of my neck each time.
I now had a cat in my kitchen that had scratched and licked my hands… that may have Rabies.

I called Animal Control and told them to come pick up this cat that may have Rabies. They never answered the phone, or called me back.
I called the Police. They did nothing.
I called The animal Shelters. They were more worried about me being exposed and told me to call all the same people I already called.
Nobody could help me.

I was able to call each new symptom before it happened.
She went to the Vet on Tuesday walking like a duck.
By Wednesday she was paralyzed up to the arm pits.
By Thursday night at exactly 6:00 pm she started to have seizures, and tried to bite her own paw off. She would growl and howl, and became extremely violent, her tongue would hang from her mouth.  I decided it was time to end her suffering. I had spent the last four days holding this cat in my lap and bonding with her… she was now my friend. Yet, this creature… this monster, was no longer Tuxedo. It was a Zombie… I quickly ended the suffering, and then broke down….

My father was freaking out since Wednesday, calling me non stop to ask if Animal Control came yet.… he wanted this animal tested now. There was nothing I could do though… nobody would come get the cat.

My dad finally got ahold of Animal Control. He threatened to call the newspaper and tell them all about a cat with Rabies that they didn't come and get.

Tuxedo was picked up a week later, tested a day later, and then I knew for sure that this poor cat… did indeed have Rabies. Bad news… for me, and my animals.

The Health Department showed up with a letter explaining the situation. The letter went out to the school across the street, and to all the neighbors…. after all… according to this letter... Rabies is an epidemic in our area.

I promptly took every cat I could get my hands on to the vet to get their Rabies shots.

and then….

I had to go get my Rabies shots.
One Tetanus shot in my left arm
A preventative Rabies shot in my right arm, left hip and right hip.
The actual Rabies shot in my left arm.
And then 20 injections of preventative rabies shots around my wrist where I had been scratched and licked.

Not to mention that the only place to get these shots is the Emergency Room.
And…
I had to go back 3 days later, for another shot in my right arm
I then went back 4 days later for another shot in my right arm
and then on Sunday I go for my last shot, and I will be free of this.

In total this has cost a ton of money in medical care.
A ton of emotional stress.
and…
now I'm known as the "Girl getting her Rabies Shots" at the ER.

So please…
Get your pets vaccinated.
Wash your hands with soap and water after getting a scratch or bite from ANY animal.
I am thankful that I am a neurotic hand washer.

Tuxedo Cat and Ron in love. 

Tuxedo Cat Purring in her box a day before she died. Paralyzed in the back legs. 

Round Pen Adventure- SEIZE THE WEATHER!

I came up with this great idea to build a round pen in our back yard for our horses. All it took was for my husband to get a little bit excited about it, and soon enough we were cutting down logs and spray painting a 60' circle onto the grass. This is actually happening... as I look out my window the hubster is outside digging holes and placing logs into the ground. I am determined to do this all for free. Wood is expensive, and we have a lot of it sitting in the brush that needed to be cleared out. Why not use it? The hubster was not thrilled with the idea of splitting six foot logs, but sure enough he did it. Now I just need to figure out where to find 10 foot rails. So far I have a small collection of long pine branches... not enough. I need about 54 if them. I have about 17 so far. The scavenger hunt is on my friends... the hunt is on. Fingers crossed this doesn't turn into a diabolical mess of an eye sore. In which case you will never see the photos. Ok, I'm off to take photos of the process... will add to this later. Bye for now!

Update:
We found an ad on Craigslist selling the end pieces of long logs... the hubs I guess they are called. They were perfect. All you could take for $60. The hubster went and got as many as he could fit int he truck and used them for the rails.
It turned out pretty good.
He cheated and used 2x4s to make the gate. All in all though we built a round pen for under $100. The horses like it. They gallop around in it, and eat the wood.
Since we built the round pen it has snowed... and then melted... so the ground is either too icy, or too muddy.
I can't wait for spring.
Pictures coming soon. I promise.

My horses are dumb.

I get asked this question a lot. Are horses smart?
Today, I came up with my answer.

Yes, some horses are very smart. I have witnessed a few horses using their lips to open their stall doors. I have even seen a horse drinking out of a water bottle using their lips to hold it in the air. My favorite kind of smart horse is one that poo's in a corner of their stall, makes for easy clean up; and they don't have to stand in filth.  When it comes to riding... I have seen many a horse dump a bad rider because they were just very annoying. I mean if a horse is so smart, why would it let a predator on it's back? A smart horse really wouldn't let you near it, but they are trusting, and so I will let that one go.

My friend Charlene giving a horse a drink of water. This one was a smarty pants. 

Yet, are my horses smart? No.

My two girls are not gifted. I have witnessed them standing in freezing rain instead of standing in their shelter. Today, I went to feed them, which I do twice a day. Each of them have their own designated buckets, which they eat out of... yet... today, Ellie decided that she forgot where her feed bucket was, and decided to eat out of Raven's... and Raven didn't quite know what to do so she walked out of the pen and stood on the other side of the gate waiting for me to give her orders.

On top of this they have fresh water (hand walked, thank you frozen hose) to them every morning which goes in a different bucket. I might as well have brought them a bucket full of poo. They still stand at their frozen solid water troughs waiting for water to miraculously appear. I just don't get it. I mean I even pour the fresh clean water into a fresh clean bucket right in front of their faces so they can hear, smell, and see that I am in fact giving them their water.

I like to go with the old saying. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force them to drink"

I confess that I do own two idiot horses. But they sure do make for some pretty lawn ornaments.